Thanks for thinking of me. I am ok. I won on the radio again this morning,(had to pretend I was my sister) tickets to a show that my sister and I are going to see on the 29th and a easter basket from a gourmet chocolate shop. Things are going. I am not sure how far you read up about my weekend. It was different. It wasn't bad - in fact I had a really good time, except for I kept thinking of everyone telling me what I was doing wrong during it. I definately continue to live in the moment instead of making changes that might effect my future.
My H has been different since Sat night. He has called me Neecy or Denisey a number of times which he has not done post-ow. Everytime I get up he wonders what I am doing now and why I can't just hang out with him. I have not asked if he has called OW, he probably has, but he hasn't left my side while I have been home. Very different, situations keep evolving.
A lady at work send out quotes every morning. Monday her quotes were on change. Here is the first one -
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~ Victor Frankl
Thought it was very applicable to these boards.
I have a question though. I really appreciate the advice I have rec'd from puppy and others that have been maybe outside the DB techniques but have worked for them. From the few times I have been successful in applying these techniques I believe they would work for me too, that being said, I do not seem to have the ability to apply them consistently. So, as I do not seem to be able to get a copy of divorce remedy, if I was strictly applying the techniques in the book what did I do wrong on Saturday Night?
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
I can't see ANYTHING you did that was wrong.. You Went out on your own (I know this is hard to do, It took me awhile and I'm a guy). then (THANKS TO NO SIGNAL). you did not jump through hoops to return his call. And when you did, you did becase YOU wanted to...
Go with the flow girl..you will be alright...
Dr LOve
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Consistancy is something everyone has to work at. It isn't something that you can just change and viola it's permanent. WE have done things a certain way for so long to change it takes time. SO don't kick your self just take your time and think about what you want the outcome to be in a certain sitch and apply 180's or whatever accordingly.
Great that you had no cell phone signal. it worked in your ffavor because he wondered what was up. Remember the next time and take it from there(be mysterious, don't answer every call).
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about. ~ Dale Carnegie
today is National Act Happy Day!!!
Last edited by neecy22; 03/19/0805:51 PM.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
Great quote! So what are YOU thinking today, Neecy? I hope positive thoughts.
Quote:
My H has been different since Sat night. He has called me Neecy or Denisey a number of times which he has not done post-ow. Everytime I get up he wonders what I am doing now and why I can't just hang out with him. I have not asked if he has called OW, he probably has, but he hasn't left my side while I have been home. Very different, situations keep evolving.
That certainly was a big 180 you pulled on H over the weekend! He never saw it coming, and that is why HE panicked and began chasing YOU . Nicely done! Show him you are not to be taken for granted and that you do not rely on him for entertainment. You can have just as much fun by yourself and you CAN resist him.
He thought he was in control for a while there (you know he was, too), and he feels it slipping away now. That's why he wants to keep you close by. He's trying to regain that control.
Continue to be there for him as a friend and nothing more. Hang out with him a little here and there, but be the first to break away. Have other things to do.
BTW, in a previous post, you stated that all recent boundaries had been blown. What did you mean? You can send me an e-mail if you don't wish to post it here.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
I am feeling good today and it almost makes me nervous. But I am pretending I am not nervous about feeling good and I am acting happy because it is act happy day!
I will send you an email when I get home, don't have the address at work.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
. Nicely done! Show him you are not to be taken for granted and that you do not rely on him for entertainment. You can have just as much fun by yourself and you CAN resist him.
Good job, Neecy! Oh and congrats on winning those tickets! Hope you and your sister have a great time! You deserve it. 