I hope you guys realize that I am listening to every piece of your advice and I really, really am trying. I am going to try that advice and pretend that H is someone I don't know the next time one of these conversations comes up.
He really is acting like he used to when it was fun but making comments that in the current context aren't funny. Like maybe when we separate his parents will buy him our house but he will let me live in a little shed in the back yard.....
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
The next time he says something like that, just look at his increduously, shake your head in disapproval, and walk away without saying a word. Or just an "Unbelievable."
Also, if there are scenes/dialogue that tend to repeat with you two, that are, in very, VERY predictable, then think about ROLE-PLAYING AHEAD OF TIME, in your own head or even out loud (if you're alone, LOL!) how you'd LIKE to handle them.
It helped me, a LOT, and I'm a big ham and am in sales for a living!
He really is acting like he used to when it was fun but making comments that in the current context aren't funny. Like maybe when we separate his parents will buy him our house but he will let me live in a little shed in the back yard.....
My H acts this way, too. It's just his sense of humor and an attempt to keep things light. Like you, I don't particularly find it amusing either, so I understand exactly how you feel.
Puppy's approach would be the logical response to such behavior, but if your H is anything like mine, I find it works best if I just 'play along' with him. For example, my H will say something like, "Don't talk to me with that tone, woman." (He's smiling or laughing when he says stuff like that.) I will respond playfully with, "I just did! What are you gonna do about it?"
One time before my H moved out, he said, "I think I'll buy a trailer and put it on the side of the house for you." (Again, he was joking, although it hurt.) I replied with, "No, I've already got plans to build a kennel out there, just for you!" He couldn't help but laugh, and I do believe an argument was avoided.
Childish? Yeah, probably. But it helps to keep things on the fun side.
Remember, neecy - every bit of advice anyone offers, including me, may be something that worked in their sitch but could backfire in yours. Every M and every individual is unique.
Try something different from what you've been doing that is giving you negative results. Then stand back and monitor what is going on. What's working and what's not.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
GF you are too right. Only you know your H and what you can say/do to either avoid or start a fight. My H is the same way and if I were to shake my head and say something, all hell would break loose, but if I have an equally snappy come-back thats not a zinger to him personally, we can just laugh and move on.
The stranger thing works for me sometimes, because then I can remove all emotion from the situation and respond like I would to just anyone, it really is situational.
Its amazing at some of the stuff that my H has said thinking he was being cute and in the sitch we're in, it is so inappropriate and not funny. I just have to take it with a grain of sand and move one. If its something particularly hurtful, I will make a comment or let him know thats not funny, but I find if you can give as good as you get, you can often get your point across and still maintain some levity.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
