I'm really sorry that I didn't call last night. I was so beside myself not knowing what to do about things that I kind of had a little breakdown. I still haven't made my decision about the job, the money would be great, but at the same time I know things are changing here and the position would end up being temporary. I know that there may be other opportunities but the possibility of me being considered would be difficult without having my degree. Its killing me. I have always thought I was a good person and made good decisions, but lately I just don't know any more. I wish things had played different in our life's. I'm grateful for so many things and at the same time wonder what I did so wrong that things turned out the way they did. I'm really starting to hate myself and that is not a good thing. I'm sooooo sorry that life has played such a bad trick on us. They say things happen for a reason, but this is one lesson I didn't need right now. I'm so tired of being scared, so tired of second guessing myself, so tired of not knowing anything anymore. Its really time for me to make some good decisions.
Sorry to have babbled, just need to right now. Ill give you a call later.
Am I reading this wrong, or does this sound like Dear John to you all as well?
Have you always been like this?
That EVERY SINGLE FRICKEN THING THAT HAPPENS IN THE WORLD HAS TO BE ABOUT YOU???
The man you claim to love just spilled his guts to you in an email - about how HE is FEELING AS A MAN and the only damn thing you can think is "does this sound like a dear John letter"????
I am so off the chain disgusted with you right now I will let someone else kick you in the ass for this one.
AS for the email, I don't see it as a dear John either. He said he would give you a call, so let it go at that. And remember he is coming to you and he wants to make good decisions.
It was a I'm so confused, and stressed, and my brain is mush, and I think I could maybe if I did something, what, I would be about depressed, sorry for was I saying I don't know adfjkja gndfjg ufihg hfdgghkjga letter.
He is questioning everything about himself right now. You've got to let him find the answers on his own.
Dar - not to talk like you're not reading - but let me play devil's advocate and reply to BND.
BND - she has said over and over that she has already done all those things.
She has claimed to have seen the ways in which she was wrong before.
She has claimed to have tried to GAL.
She says she's tried NC and just has a hard time with it.
WHEN does Dar have to eliminate all her distractions so she can deal with herself - and even better - let God deal with her?
I don't want to read her lip service anymore but I am not angry with Dar. I am disgusted by the delusions she allows herself ABOUT herself.
But you are right.
In due time.
Dar - you have too many distractions. Yes, others are telling you to GAL - and of course I agree with them - but you are not using those activities productively. How much time in that scrapbook do you spend thinking about the old days? That is not good for you. Broaden your horizons. Get OUTSIDE the box.
Sorry guys to have upset you all. Not my intention at all. I f'ing know it's not all about me though...I REALLY do! I guess I just took this letter the wrong way. Again, very sorry.
I'll focus elsewhere now on to make you all proud.
Some people just love to complain and even when they get the chance to better themselves or to change their lives, they would rather sit in the sh*t the clean it up.
Moving out of their comfort zone is too scarey!!!
So they stay where they are,motivated only be fear.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
You are talking like I'm some piece of sh*t. Nice, really. I hope you didn't make others to feel this way. I was doing okay, but now I'm pissed. Talk about me on your own email or own thread since it's rude to talk down like I'm not here.
