Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Steelers Fan - Husband Making Progress Part III

Sf thank you for the update. If anyone can do this you can. Could you set a boundary about him not drinking in the house?

If I were to set boundaries, he would think I was treating him like a child.

Also, he does not act drunk at all when he drinks like that. To him, it is like drinking water or soda.

He is an adult and if I do anything like set a boundary, which I do not want to do, this will push him elsewhere. It is his money he uses to buy the beer, not mine.

SF,

I can't remember if I've posted to you before, but have followed your situation for a while.

I think you are an incredibly strong woman. Your patience and unconditional love for your H are exceptional.

You sound tired. Make sure you are taking care of you, not just H. Doesn't sound like he's capable yet of taking care of you, so you've GOT to.

Hang in there. You are an inspiration to me. Your sitch gives me hope. I am praying for you.

{{{hugs for SF}}}

Thanks!

He is doing all he can do at the moment. I think the most important thing has been commmunication. At first he is afraid to talk but I encourage him, then he tells me it is okay to state my feelings or what I am thinking and he listens and says he understands.

Then he says how much better he feels.

THat has been the pattern of our communication since he has been home.

It is still going to be a long road to recovery.

Thanks for update SF, how are the kids behaving towards him?
Would he see a Dr. do you think either for meds or referral for counselling that he might confide in and he would know it was totally confidential and not church related.
The money/ job issue appears to still be a problem for him do you think he has debts he is afraid to talk about?
I have been thinking of you and know you will do all you can to help him but bottom line is him.God Bless.

The kids are fine.

He is unsure who he wants to see but sometimes I think he feels like he needs to see someone and other times he feels he does not because he always feels better after he talks to me. He does not attend church so the pastors would be impartial.

I am aware of his debts as we discuss those issues. He really is not in a lot of debt but the bills he pays leaves him very little afterwards whereas my pay is also chewed up. there is nothing left to cut out and with food and gas prices rising, geesh, I can barely keep food in the house. What used to last awhile now is eaten up in days.