Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis I'm going to focus on other goals for ME part 5!!!

But you have only been HERE for 6 months, and of that, truly DBing for, what would you say, maybe 3???

Keep it in perspective or the down times will kill you.

Well, the down times killed me last night......I TOTALLY blew it! I lost my marbles and went completely mental on him last night. Literally. I kept saying "do you hear me? I sound psychotic!" I told him that I'll be done now too. That I don't love him and how does it feel to hear that. I told him to go ahead and file since that's what he's always wanted but has dragged it on and on for 18 months for whatever reason. I'm a friggin basket case today and I feel like I've truly lost my marbles and am having a mental breakdown here.

((((((dar))))))

I think that might count as a backslide!

So, since you did it, what sis he say? Any reaction at all?

Take care of you today. Maybe you needed to go through that to really detach. Not that I think that is a recommended method, but maybe you needed to do that to get there in your head.

Gather up the marbles, and put yourself together, ok?

Thanks Jeff, I feel like sh*t today. I'm down in the dumps, so not picking up the marbles yet.

H didn't say anything the whole time except "we'll talk about us this weekend". Hello! I've heard this for how many months now???

Wow, lightbulb, I've heard the same from him for all these months and you've all heard the same babble from me all these months. I'm VERY VERY SORRY!

Hmmmmm.....

Well lets see....

This is what I would do. (Don't worry we all let a few marbels fall out at least once!)

I would CALMLY talk to my H and tell him that in light of all the things that have been going on , you kinda lost it. You're sorry and that sometimes it does seem a little overwhelming.

Next time I will approach things in a calmer matter.

See how that works.I'dpractice in front a mirror first because you may want to use other words but I think you get my drift.

You willl be fine. If you use a calm manner you will project calmness.

Remember, be positive......


Good Luck

E

E,

That is EXACTLY what I've been trying to do since a couple hours after losing it. I've called him and now have emailed him to apologize for that behavior and explain that I've just been overwhelmed lately. He won't pick up his phone and won't reply to my email. I even told him if he wanted to have someone else call me and relay the message back to him, that's fine. I blew it.

ok, you stop now dar. You've apologized. He didn't respond, you can't help that.

Be ready in case he really does talk this weekend. Don't let another blowout happen. Listen, if he talks. Maybe we can learn something.

No, I haven't yet apologized Jeff. I've tried calling and emailing in order to apologize, but haven't actually apologized yet. And I'd rather do so over the phone rather than in email. He's ignorning me now though I guess. I guess it's okay for him to bomb and walk out but I can't lose it 18 months later.

Then wait. He isn't listening now anyway.

It's driving me crazy though Jeff. It really is. I f'd up big time.