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Some really good questions Mishka. Those are questions I have had about my sitch and also if this is something that my W needs in order to have a much better R with Him.

Mishka, thanks for sticking with me. I know that I've been pretty distant on the boards.

I do think that this is all part of His plan.

I really want to listen to God's plan for my life. Right now, I am hearing "no anger, forgiveness."

Also, during our discussions of how things will go over the next few weeks, I found myself offering to adjust things, (loan her money,) in her favor to make things easier on her.

I never planned that, but it came out of my mouth like I was breathing.

I am certainly not regretting that, I really hope that it DOES make things easier on her.

It's kind of sad, the MLC has such a hold on her that she has approached me asking me all kinds of financial questions, and I find myself in the position that I am advising her on the best way to leave me.

Wow, I suppose that I'll submit my photo to Wickipedia for their entry on "Irony" next week.



I had a blast with my kids today, there is a place in our backyard where I have a (yearly,) ditch dug to drain the water from the neighboring cornfields.

It turned into an icy sort of "Luge" track. We spent about an hour sliding down that, and me shoving them through it.

Man, this is going to suck when they are gone.

Take the best of care Mishka,

don't you think it has made you grow as well? Maybe this is God's plan for your life. You needed to grow and your W's crisis was the catalyst for that.

Ummm, yeah, I do. I've grown a lot in certain areas. Most noticeably to me, my ability to control my anger at what is happening, and what she throws at me.

Yesterday, we were discussing the finances of this, and she got really nasty. Previously, I would have responded in kind, but instead, I said "You're being nasty makes me want to not discuss this with you anymore."

I don't like feeling self-righteous, (which is what she calls me when I walk away,) but I like how it feels when I bow out of a crappy sitch with her.

I'll continue to pray for all of you.

Thank you, That's more important than many think.




Best,

Punkt.

MMF,


Some really good questions Mishka. Those are questions I have had about my sitch and also if this is something that my W needs in order to have a much better R with Him.

I think that our W's are in desperate need of a renewal of their relationship with Him.

I finally realize that praying for her to soften her heart to our family, praying that she would soften her heart to me, is getting the cart before the horse so to speak.

What we really need to happen is for them to re-establish their contact with Him, however small.


In my wife's sitch, he is calling to her, but the MLC is interfering. She is in no-man's land right now.

She could use some prayer help.

Even if our family is not restored, she is lost and searching for a reconnection, even if she doesn't know it.

Thanks if you have the time to pray for her.


Punkt.

I always have time to pray for people Punk! Do not give up on her. Never give up on her. I don't mean that she will return to the family or to you but that she will go to Him.

You offering to help her could've been you heeding His direction. If we are to be kind to an enemy then what about loved ones. No matter what happens Punk, she will always be family. Forever.

Yesterday during church, the pastor recalled when, at the last supper, Jesus demonstrated being a servant to others. The disciples began to discuss who was the greatest among them. Jesus got up quietly, took off his outer garment and wrapped a towel around His waist. He took a pitcher of water and poured it into a bowl. He then proceeded to wash the disciples feet and drying their feet with the towel.

Jesus even washed and dried the feet of Judas Iscariot who had already betrayed Him. Jesus was aware at that time that Judas had done such a thing but He served Judas anyway. Jesus did not worry about what others would say. That He was a fool for being nice (being a servant) to someone who had sold him out and betrayed Him.

Punk, it doesn't matter what anyone else will ever think about being a servant to your wife. They may call you a doormat or a fool or worse but there is someone greater than anyone else that calls you to be this kind of man. As long as you are doing it for Him and not for yourself (and not even for her), you should never worry about others perceptions. I am not saying you are but I know my challenges how others view me.

You are a good man. A good husband. A good father. And a good friend.

Hey Punkt...

MMF talks so highly of you...I thought I would drop by and wish you peace in your life.

If you make the move over to surviving, rest assured, you will friends there too!!!

MMF, Thanks for a very powerful post.

I think that you've hit the nail on the head right here.

Do not give up on her. Never give up on her. I don't mean that she will return to the family or to you but that she will go to Him.

A few months ago, I would have said that I was in this place, but I wouldn't have been truly.

Sort of, but not without a LOT of anger.

I've finally really dropped it. What comes will come.

I'm still praying for her, but not to come home anymore.

Now I'm focused on praying for her to find Him.

For her and the kids.

That, and for me to find it in me to forgive. It's there, I'm just rooting it out right now.

It comes as I grow.

That's ok too.



Yesterday during church, the pastor recalled when, at the last supper, Jesus demonstrated being a servant to others. The disciples began to discuss who was the greatest among them. Jesus got up quietly, took off his outer garment and wrapped a towel around His waist. He took a pitcher of water and poured it into a bowl. He then proceeded to wash the disciples feet and drying their feet with the towel.

Jesus even washed and dried the feet of Judas Iscariot who had already betrayed Him. Jesus was aware at that time that Judas had done such a thing but He served Judas anyway. Jesus did not worry about what others would say. That He was a fool for being nice (being a servant) to someone who had sold him out and betrayed Him.


That couldn't be more timely.





They may call you a doormat or a fool or worse but there is someone greater than anyone else that calls you to be this kind of man.

Boy, Howdy, do they ever. That's OK, they are just trying to think of me first as friends.

If they're my friends, they'll still be around after I loan her the money left from the settlement.

I know that I'll never see it again, whatever.


They may call you a doormat or a fool or worse but there is someone greater than anyone else that calls you to be this kind of man.

I don't know why I am doing it, everyone advises against it, I'll never see it again, and she's far from thankful.

I just said it, liked how that felt, and I'll stick with that.


As little as it is, money don't mean anything.


Thanks MMF, I don't feel it all the time, so thanks.

FIG, Hey, thanks for checking in on me! MMF is probably too kind though.

I'll be starting a post over there shortly.

It's nice to know that there's a welcoming comittee. I've read some there, and I think that's where I need to be.

Besides, this thread will probably lock up soon.

I've been too busy at work to be around lately.

I think that I need to move over though, things just finally went that way for me lately.

That's not bad for me, acceptance at this stage is part of growing, and like you say, peace.

I feel like I've been sprayed with miracle-grow lately.

Feels pretty good really.

Talk to you soon.

Punkt.

For the Mods.

I / we understand legal liability / personal responsibility.

For the sake of all of us who bounce between here and hell, please grow a spine.

Put a disclaimer in your terms of use to relieve you of liability. I'm sure that you can find a way to relieve yourselves of responsibility. We are big people here, we can decide which comm's are unacceptable.

A 5 line primer/instructions would educate posters on how to avoid their eX's finding them.

Even as secure as this site is, it's not the same as a "group."

Allowing us to contact and interact with the ones we choose here, IS like a group, only better, b/c we can choose those people who are like us.


****WE**** NEED THE CAPABILITY TO DISCOURSE WITH EACH OTHER.

Not you deciding, not your legal advisers,

****WE**** need this.

Your site is awesome. But YOU are dropping the ball.

While I understand that this is YOUR site, and I believe that it should go by YOUR rules, I also think that if you view us as customers, you should be responsive to our desires as customers.

Perhaps there is a trend towards looking at the old-timers as non-important customers since we are beyond the critical cusp one way or the other.

That is a grave mistake, the old timers here are the ones who really understand D-Bing, and who can suggest to the newcomers how to apply it in familiar situations.

Having gone through this difficulty earlier when emails were still allowable, I can tell you from experience that it made a HUGE difference to be able to privately communicate with people who could identify with my situation.

PLEASE, investigate this by asking old timers, and ESPECIALLY the younger people who still have contact with the old timers....

I really believe that you care about the people here more than as just a money making scheme.

I have no doubt that you will find a way to allow email or PM type contacts in OUR interests as well as yours if you examine the situation.

Thank you.


Punkt.

Amen!

I like that thought. We are grown adults and know what we are getting ourselves into. Going through this, we need all the support we can get, from every avenue.