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Journaling..

So I have a crazy story that I wanted talk to myself (I am not sure if someone want to listen to this..)

H and I met through a friend of mine (lets call her, Laura) 9 years ago. We exchanged phone number and called each other several times and met up at bars and started to know each other. But it did not go any where. I was not interested in him and he was busy with other female ( I believe..) A couple month later, he told me that he would be deployed in a couple weeks. We hugged and said good bye. While he was gone, I thought about him sometimes but was not like I missed him. Just wondered how he was doing..

A few month after he left, I met a guy (lets call him..John). He and I started date and R was crazy. We both didn't respect each other, were childish and R didn't go anywhere. I knew it. When things were going down.. I went to see Fortune Teller ( this is the crazy part..) skeptical but was curious what Fortune Teller will tell me. 6 of my friends went to see this Fortune Teller and the outcome was 'collect' and 'wrong'. The one started this phenomena was Laura, who worked in the same building with the Fortune Teller. She tagged along with many of us because she was just into it then.

August of 1999, Fortune Teller was straight forward and told me many things..Here are the most of the thing he said..

-I will meet the husband to be in this year.
-he is White (my BF at the time was not White)
-I will marry next year.
-I will have baby girl near future.
-I already know the man I am marrying.
-One of my friends is key person of how we meet.
-the friend could be Laura
-He is from middle part of US. (BF then was from Cali.)

At the time, I was skeptical and was just laughing at this. I went to see him about current situation and told me all about different man! So, I just thought "yea, i don't think i got anything out of it..." and forgot about it.

Two month later, I heard H's unit coming back to town. Somehow, I really wanted to see him and thought I should stop by the bar we met(it was the place H hanged out every weekend.) Non of my friends wanted to go with me with lots of different reasons. But I was soo determined that I had to go. So, my friend called her friend who I met only a few times if she could go with me. And she said 'sure, I will go with Beauty'

When I walked in the bar the night, there was H with all the same friends. We talked and were very happy to meet again. I gave him my number. The very next day, he called. We fell in love very quickly.

The next year, I got pregnant and decided to get married. After we had a baby girl, I remembered what Fortune Teller told me.. I got very very excited, Wow this could happen???
H was from Illinois, after all and white.


Crazy? Yup Crazy. Oh, one more thing what Fortune Teller told me.
he said "You will not have divorce, one marriage in your life.. you know why? because you are VERY patient, I cannot believe how much you can stand all the things happen.. You will go through"

Now, I think.. Do I really go through this...??

Beauty

I am ready to do LRT.. it is the right time for me

Beauty,
Cool story! I think that is amazing. I've never been to a fortune teller and frankly not sure if I believe in that. I thought they
but it sounds like she nailed it.

I hope you found something fun to do with the kids. You mentioned taking the kids to a hotel but money was too tight. When my D was small I used to save the Play-Doh and paint for 'rainy' days. She loved to do that. Or we'd bake a cake together and I'd let her decorate it in a crazy way. Just as much fun as a pool, and quality time with the kids ... and something they'll always remember doing with Mom.

Did your SIL come over? Watch any good movies?

You mentioned LRT. Any idea what you're going to do?

(((HUGS)))

Joie

Joie!

We went to McDonald and pet shop today. We spent good one hour looking around animals. And then, SIL hanged with us most of the day. Yup we watched movie but mostly we talked..

I found out SIL met OW once while I've gone for home... One night, SIL called my H what he was up to and H invited her to a bar where H and OW were drinking. It was only after SIL got there, H told who he was with the night. SIL decided to stick around. She told OW that family will not accept her because everyone got hurted by all this you and H did.. don't expect we will open hand to you. SIL told me that OW seemed surprized and OW talked about how much she loves my H.

I was sooo mad for H to trick his sister to be there. What was he thinking..? hoping his sister would have a great time to finally meet her? After all, I find out how my H can be ignorant and selfish not only toward to me but his sister.

SIL and I talked in the length. I told her that it is not fair for her to be in the middle, after all H is her brother. She said to me, "he is my brother but you are my sister, not just legally. when you married to him, you became my sister and I will always love you. I want you to come to me or my family when you need because we are family"
also said, 'I always love my brother but I don't have to like him.. he is a**h***'

So, while H was gone, I had chance to assure my presence in the family and I will have support from my in-laws. I don't like he is out side of family circle but according to SIL, he is doing to himself and they feel that my kids and I have rights to in the family.

Great feeling to have a support.. because I need one.

LRT..
I have been working on 180, setting goals etc. Now, it is time to love him from far away. I will not answer his call or text unless necessary (I will text him when about kids). No more sex... No more crying/mad/fighting/confronting/talking about D or R. I will not talk about my daily personal activities, only about kids and weather Smile 24/7..don't let him have a bad days. I will be happy while he is strugling with small things to whatever. My life is good. Always will be.

So he is with OW for the weekend and I have been texting him about kids that they miss him soo much. He was on the phone with them and I made them talk in the length (on purpose..) so I can drive OW crazy.. I knew OW was next to him so I told H that S2 is trying to sing a song for him but H needed to help him. So, I requested to sing ABC song for s2 and of course H did it.

well, i have no idea what OW may think but I am sure OW is jelous someone but her get full attention when she is still there. LOL

Beauty

Beauty,
I am new to the board, but I have read a lot and I wanted to say that you are doing a "great job". I feel for your pain and confusion and I believe that the fortune teller ways correct. Since my Stich has started I have found that the daily horoscopes have been very accurate in what is going to happen on a specific day and how to deal with it. I am not a big believer in the stares, but lately I have been seeing a pattern.

Keep your chin up and eye on the end goal

Lostforwards.
Thank you for the support I am not much believer either but that was the only time it was something. I talked to H about this many times and it is like a 'romantic destiny' story in the family


H will be back from the trip tomorrow morning. Mix emotions, scared, nervous, mad... I don't know what to think. Do I just smile at him when I see him? I guess that's the only way..

H came back. He stopped by and spent some time with kids (and me). We, as family, watched movie, tv and had dinner together. He helped me for kids getting ready for bed, book and tucked them in the blankets. Kids were happy and H seemed like really missed them.


Before he comes, I prepared to be 'normal' and I did well. Normal smile and hug.. casual talk, just normal.. But he was the one acting wired... at end of the night, he told me that he is surprised with my attitude, calm and nice and not being emotional and he was not sure when my blow up was coming LOL...Of course it didn't happen. He asked me why.. and I just said 'nice to have you here' He was just nodding.

So I guess this is a result of 180.

I didn't ask about anything particlar and just listened to his plans for the week, about kids, and so on (nothing about the trip and OW). He wanted to take kids for the night but he has a plan and he will take them next 3 days (altough I am not sure if I like that)

It wasn't a bad day after all. He is back and OW is far away. very peaceful..

Beauty

Way to go Beauty! Give yourself a pat on the back for being a great DBer! It's great that you were so nice and casual with him, and even better that he noticed! I'm sure the wheels in his head are still spinning!!!!

He wants to take the kids for 3 days? That's tough, but consider it a mini vacation for yourself.

Have a good day.

Thank you for your support, Joie! I hope your days are good.
I am doing pretty good and feeling okay.

Here is a quote I heard and wanted to share...



"When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No... don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away. Doesn't sound very exciting, does it? But it is!"
Captain Corelli's Mandolin (2001)

I love that book