Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Wife's MLC????

No offense, but no sh it.
You wouldn't be posting here if you liked the situation. : )
Gallows humor. [/quote]

Well I meant the situation of living in the little cr@p hole apartment, and living where I work...

But I appreciate the gallows humor..

Then we have alot more in common. : )

Been there, done that have you...

I am glad that I have the weekend to think this through. At this point it feels right, of course I haven't spent a night in that house since I left so I will have to see what ghosts haunt me when I am alone in there.

I really try not to say that.
BTDT doesn't make me an expert.
Having similar experiences however tends to lend a certain ammount of credence to the advice offered.
Someone offering advice on how to deal with a MLC who lives in the same house as the LBS, but who didn't have to go through that particular pain...doesn't have the experience to draw on despite all the empathy that might be felt.

I think you are right, you have to dance this dance to understand it.

Jack is correct in that I share a roof with my alien. It can be quite exasperating at times...

Bomb

Bomb,
What is the proper care and feeding of an alien?
How often do you have to take it out for a walk?

Mine has sort of occupied the house by itself, having ejected me. It seems to be setting up for a long seige.

Every once in a while I throw money at it, which seems to have absolutely no effect on its mood.

Periodically, it hurls waves of vomit and puke at me from behind the seige walls. At first it was unpleasant but I am used to it now.

I am thinking of taking up a position a little further away, out of range of the vomit bombs.

DO NOT try to take care of your alien. It will resent you.

Take care of yourself.

If you can hold your emotions (especially the anger) in check, then you might be able to coexist. I couldn't and I moved out. Not for her well being, but for mine and my S7.

It killed me financially in the beginning because I was still paying the mortgage, the utilities on our house while paying rent on the place I moved into. You know, those raymen noodles aren't so bad. Are there any other flavors besides chicken and beef?

It wasn't comfortable for me in the beginning, but looking back, I know it saved me from a lot of anguish. It was my best option for the type of person I am and the situation I found myself in.

This is a personal decision on separating or not. You have to just ask yourself if you can tolerate her behavior and stay in control. If there is any doubt, then you need to stay away and go dark. I've seen Men on here who have stayed and I've seen it take a toll on them emotionally and physically.

Wow, where to start, it has been a very interesting week+ since I posted.

Sunday a week ago, my son lost his job.. I went up to where he is living, w was already up there.. We got things settled down for him and the next morning w and I went out to breakfast, had a great time we talked for nearly an hour after breakfast and it was good.

Went back to son's apartment on the walk back I started having chest pains, so w took me to the emergency room. After many tests it was determined that I had a problem not with my heart but with my rib cartlidge and that was what was causing the pain. w stayed with me most of the time and she was great.

Next morning things blow up at her work, bosses are starting to ask alot of questions and she has no answers. She calls, I go over and we talk for a long time, she then calls her doctor and goes out on stress leave. We spent alot of time together during those days and we got along really well, I didn't put any pressure on her and just let her lead the way.

She started talking about getting back together and what she thought we needed to fix. I listened and talked with her and didn't argue. She then went back to the town where her grandmother is and went to stay with her, grandmother is very sick and about to pass on.

We have talked on the phone about 2 to 3 times a day since then. I have just been supportive and not pressed any R talks.

When she brought up R talks she kept saying we need to go slow. I agreed, which is not really what I want to do but I know that it is for the best. She says she wants to be friends first and then go from there. It kinda makes me nervous but I know this is the best place to start. OM is still in the picture but not as much since she is away, I am still having a hard time with that, I want desperately to tell her that as long as he is in the picture, I am not. But I think that would be extremely counter productive.

Sorry it was so long, and possibly very confusing, but it has been awhile since I have been around..