I think Michele herself should take a trip to her own website because it is a crisis right now within itself.
MrsH, I agree with you. I want her to know that some wonderful people's voices have been silenced, people who had been here for years, shared their own pain and personal war stories, yet reached out to give support and insight to others. There were spirited conversations, and sometimes other self help resources were mentioned, but no one, in all my time here, ever said anything negative about Divorcebusting and the material; in fact, I remember many times it was said how helpful Michele had been, and after all, she trusted us enough with our opinions to gather information from us for her most recent book, The Sex Starved Wife.
Michele, what is happening here? Beyond the bannings and post deletions, something else happened that baffles me, something on MrsH's thread. The moderator came along and suggested coaching to MrsH, yet had she been following along at all, she would realize that MrsH is a SAHM who is up against a very difficult H, one who is so wrapped up in his fantasy life with OW that he can't even give her money for preschool for her boy. She's struggling and may have to move, among other things. Is this really the person you want to suggest $150 for a phone session to? It looked as though the moderator had no knowledge of the situation and was simply hawking services.
Michele, I have a very high regard for you, yet I feel the perception of who you are and what you are about will change if this kind of moderating continues. My concern is for you, the moderators, and this board, and what it represents, and of course, for the people who post here. The ones who have had to leave, fortunately, used their resourcefulness to continue to help each other.
We are so glad that you are here. We're happy you found us and we welcome you with open arms. We exist to offer you hope and help, proven Divorce Busting help, to get your marriage back on track and keep your families together. Some of you may have noticed a certain amount of bickering lately among some of our members. Well, that just goes to prove how passionate we all are about being here. It's impossible for such a large community to agree on everything. And sometimes we get 'off track'. However, one thing we do agree on is that Divorce Busting principles and techniques work! Many long-time DB'ers are here offering sage advice, support, and encouragement due to the fact that because of Divorce Busting, they are now in loving, long-term marriages. They will tell you what has worked for them -- and offer you support and suggestions based on their success. Our intention and our hope is that everyone here will re-focus on the purpose and principles of the Divorce Busting Community. Let's remind ourselves why we are here, and commit to moving forward in the spirit of Divorce Busting -- positive, supporting, encouraging. Thanks for being part of the DB family!
And one more thing, let's remember that Divorce Busting and these messageboards are Michele's wonderful gift to all of us _________________________ Virginia Peeples Vice President The Divorce Busting Center virginia@divorcebusting.com
If you would like to get help from a Divorce Busting Coach,
My reply in the other forum:
The members of your boards are not fighting amongst themselves. Please get that straight before you ask someone to excuse us.
We are fighting against the methods of one of your moderators,sgctxok.
She has come into a place WE call home, where a moderator has barely cast so much as a SHADOW in the 2+ years I have been here, changed everything around, started telling us HOW to post to one another, removed very helpful links from the top of the MLC forum and in the midst of her little reign of terror she has BANNED certain members for NO obvious reasons and with no apparent violation of the website's rules.
These were longtime, well-respected members, not drive-by posters. The inconsistencies in her banning are questionable at best since she banned one week and let a few of the same people back shortly thereafter without so much as saying "my bad".
Until this mess, I looked up to moderators. Jamesjohn used to pop in here and there with some good stuff but now I hear he's got a bigger stick. That's great for him but if the moderators want to join the party, get us someone with some integrity, someone that's been where we've been and NOT someone who is just going to sound like somebody else's puppet. We don't respect that.
Sg offers nothing but window dressing because she hasn't gotten to know anyone before she swooped in and started ruling with her iron mouse and narrow mind. Sg's lack of consideration, lack of leadership SKILLS, and the condescending tone of ALL of her replies has not only shot her credibility to hell, but it's taking the other moderator's down with hers.
Clearly you are not being given the whole truth to this matter, Virginia.
It's either that or you're spinning crap too and I would really be disappointed if I were to find out that is the case.
Most or all of us here are dealing with MLC or MLCers in some way or another. Most of us here are DBing our hearts out and trying to save ourselves and/or our marriages....we walk on eggshells enough as it is....what a shame that now we must walk on eggshells here, the one place where we are comfortable, understood, appreciated, encouraged and LISTENED to.
I will be lost if I don't have this board for support. It has been a lifeline for me.
BA
Me:43 H:48 M:24 yrs T: 26 yrs 2 kids ILYNILWYA 8-07 - MOW 9-07 H moved out 8-2-08 Back 8-18-08 Affair continues Back home but not emotionally
What a shame that this board is coming to this. I am 55 years old - and to see moderators treat us like little children is the most ridiculous thing I've come across. Moderators who have not been here with us and who know nothing about us. I am so offended by this.
Geeze louise..........I've been angry at some stupid stuff in the past........it blows over for heaven's sake. I would think this would not be a good thing for sales either. I, for one, can not reccommend this site right now for those who need help because they may get bleeped and deleted if they are mis-read by some moderator. This is the most active thread on this site by the way........it has been in the 2+ years I've been here. There is much to be said for the many thread that have been so helpful to get many thru. Now when I come over to lurk I am turned OFF by all the solution journal bs going on.
what a shame. I bought all the books and spent the money...and now I will not pass on the info because I don't feel this is a forum one can be safe in anymore.........at least not for the time being.
You know guys, when that semi-argument happened between me and Imp on my thread...well, when I later found out that the thread had 'suddenly' locked ....and then I saw that many of Imp's posts were deleted, I felt weird....
Had Imp asked to have his comments deleted ? Had sg deleted them, who did that ???? And why....???
To be honest, it may not have been a very friendly discussion, but it was a discussion that many could have learnt from. I think both Imp and I bring good stuff to this board. We have a totally different approach - true, but it does not make either of us, wrong or right.....just different.
RCR - if you're reading, I will email you, I must say that I find it OUTRAGEOUS that you have been banned ! I cannot believe it to be honest....it is PREPOSTEROUS !!
I had a feeling this would happen...once again, my antena's did not let me down ....I was right, this has turned into a strange place .....and to be honest, I miss the precense of God !
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
