I hear you, sweetie. None of us WANT this for our kiddos. They don't deserve to deal with the pain and heartache. But my C always tells me... our kids DO DESERVE to have a happy mom. So don't think your misery is doing D9 any favors. I have days where it rips my soul open that my kids are hurting so badly and I am thriving so much at the same time... how can it be fair and good if I'm happy and the kids aren't?... so I know how you feel. I do. And I empathize with you. But don't hide behind the "i'm going to do this cuz it's best for D9" line... You may not always get to decide that.
