Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy My heart breaks...

Olive,

Ouch and ouch.

I'm sorry.

---Theoden

Thanks for the support everyone. I guess we can persevere through anything, can't we??! I sent out an SOS to all my girlfriends today. Plus, I made appts. to see a couple of houses...

SallyM... staying busy.. that's going to be my motto ...

So where is H staying when he has DD?

Big big BIG {{{{hugs}}}} for you sweetie... I wish I could be there for you. Consider me there in spirit.

My first weekend without my kids was super difficult. I don't mean to scare you, but I spent two days solid crying. I think, for me, it was worse than the divorce. I think the second weekend (we did every other weekend), was just as difficult. But at that point I did start reaching out for support and I have to tell you having support and friends saved me. And even this site did too. So reach out, make plans, do some really really special things for yourself.

Yes, the first month or so was horrible... but eventually it DID get a lot better. I started thinking of my H as a babysitter! (Hee hee!!!). And I even started to look forward to my own time, and I'd plan outings to festivals, or shopping, rented any movies I wanted, ate at any resturant I wanted, did any thing I wanted!!! So, eventually I did like this time. And I knew it was important for my kids to have a close relationship with their dad regardless of what he had done to me.

It's okay to cry and feel lonely, but do also try to plan some special things for you. Meet separated and divorced women, look for divorce groups even... plan to be very busy!!!! (how about a massage?!!! shopping!!! Yeeeeah!).

Plans for the weekend are starting to come together. I'm working out with a friend Saturday morning, then meeting a realtor to look at houses in the afternoon. I'm not so scared at the moment... We'll see... Good to know other people reacted the in the same way

Hmmmm ... Sounds good to me!!!

LO, Sounds like you're planning on keeping busy. Thinking about you...

Joie

LO,

I think looking at houses is a GREAT idea - I went through a ton - I just needed to feel good about where I was going/what I could afford (I even had a GMAC rep tell me what I could afford to buy on my salary). This helped ease a lot of anxiety for me -it showed me I could live w/o financial support from my H. I always feel knowledge is power - it's when I am in the dark I am most afraid...

Have a great day!

HB

Here we are... First night without D4 and it has been out of control. H has called about 5 times in the past hour. I am going insane... I told him he needs to back off and give me space. wth??? Who would've thought it would be so irritating.. I don't have time to be sad between all the calls!

LO,
Hope you're doing ok so far ... but if H won't even let you be, I'm sure it's hard to NOT think about it! Has he forgotten the purpose of these 'separated' weekends? That's probably why it's so irritating. He wanted to be separated, but 5 phone calls in an hour sure doesn't seem like it! Maybe he's more dependent on you than he knows...

Joie

Part of the problem, Joie, is that he has never had to care for D4 by himself. He has always been able to go off and do whatever while I sat at home with the child. So, this is a completely new thing for him. It was fine when he was off at ow's house but now... geez.. can't a girl catch a break??

LO-

I have a fear of what's happening to you too. H has taken care of D3 here at home, but never bathed her, taken her to the Dr. (well, 1 time), ......and never just attended to her general needs.

Sorry he's being a pain in the behind.

SueS