I sure hope it will work out for you that your wife does come back. No, we do not have any children only dogs (2 & like kids) he has threatened me in the past to get one of the dogs, I don't think he wants her but he was trying to get me to go along with what he wanted & he knew that would get to me. I'm trying to stay in the house (a lot safer with dogs than in an apartment or condo) but he wants to sell the house. I believe he is wanting some cash to make the OW think he has money, she will be surprised. I'm sure she is not being faithful to him right now, she is not that type & anyone that would run after a married man, of course he let her catch him, but it doesn't say a lot for her character plus she has been married at least 3 times, not a good track record for her. I do dread mediation because I know he is going to be very surprised at some of the stuff I have & will be very mad. I really don't want to use it & I hope I don't have to but right now I just don't know. He claims he is only going to stay in mediation for 2 hours & then he will file a contested divorce, I think he will file against me that I disengaged from our married, which is not true!!
Ok, So mediation was today & it is over! We settled & from what I understand my husband is not happy. I did get the house & 3 years of alimony. According to my attorney everything should be final in about 10 days. My husband will come get his stuff out of the house by April 15th. Now what do I do?? Is this the end?? Or is there hope of us getting back together? I'm sure as long as he has this OW in TX he won't but I'm sure that relationship will not last that long. Please advise.
I'm not an expert but I've read so many threads, esp in Surviving the big D and Divorced but not done, that give hope. It's not over until YOU decide it's over.
I have also found an article, quite an insite into OW-WAH's souls, I thought it might be of interest to you. Can't find the URL now, but the link is on my thread .
Did you get to keep the dogs? My H and I have a dog and a cat and if worse comes to worst I will fight tooth and nail to keep them both! He can keep the OW:) In the light of the article, much good it wiil do to him!
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
Thank you so much for the article!! I'm sorry it took me so long to respond to you but my parents came & stayed with me for a week.
Yes, I did get to keep the dogs! I would have fought him for them for sure!!! He did threaten me to try to get one of them but he was only trying to get what he wanted. He didn't come out very well in mediation.
I have found out that he quit his excellant job & has moved to TX with the OW as of last week. I'm so devastated & cannot believe this has happened to us, we were so close & he was so crazy about me, he was almost obsessed. He even bought me a Denali for Christmas the year before. I don't believe it will last with this woman especially after he gets out there & stays a while because from what I understand she likes to party & has been married at least 3 times. He normally wouldn't go after women like her. He met her on a scuba diving trip & she started emailing him & chasing him!! Of course he let her but still if she had not been chasing he wouldn't have done anything about it. I don't know what is next. I keep hoping he will come to his senses but I just don't know right now.
He normally wouldn't go after women like her. He met her on a scuba diving trip & she started emailing him & chasing him!! Of course he let her but still if she had not been chasing he wouldn't have done anything about it. I don't know what is next. I keep hoping he will come to his senses but I just don't know right now.
Hi nlt,
yesterday I was reading old threads of JokerMan, his OW was chasing him and initiating the R. Sounds just like your sitch. You may want to read what he thinks of her! Here is the link JokerMan 1 2 3 4 5 letter
I hope you had great time with your parents and I'm glad you've got to keep the dogs
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
Hi nlt, You've received a lot of good advice already. If you haven't been to the MLC forum here, you should go there and read, read, read! Unfortunately, your sitch sounds alot like so many others in that forum. Also, have you tried to find out your part in the breakdown of your M? If there are things you would like to change about yourself, start to do it now. I really hope things turn around for you.
Hi Stella & New attitude! Thank you both for responding!! Wow! I couldn't believe the JokerMan! I'm so proud of him for what he thinks about the OW & not answering her calls. I had to call my husband this week about changing the name on some bills & medial insurance stuff, he was cordial. He first emailed me from the OW's email address! I didn't like that at all but didn't say a word to him about it & I didn't email him back to that address. I had to get him to call someone the next day so I just called his cell phone & he answered. I was a little surprised. After he took care of it he called me back & told me. We took care of business & that was it. Since he has moved to TX, I assume he has another job, do you guys think there is somewhat of a chance that he might come back to me. I know he is planning on coming back here by April 15th to get his stuff, I sure hope he doesn't bring her with him!!!! That would be horrible & I wouldn't know how to handle that. They have not been together for very long at the time so I'm thinking that once they are with each other for longer periods of time the more they may not like each other. Up until now the longest was a Xmas for 12 days. I'm sure he is having a MLC & I sure hope he will come out of it soon. Any response & helpful advice is greatly appreciated!! I love being able to get this great advice from all of you. I'm so glad I found this place!!!
Hi nlt, I am so sorry to hear that your H has left to live with OW. He is living in a fantasy world right now. My H also has OW and we are separated so I know what you are going through. Nothing you say to him will make him change his mind so it's best to try to take your focus off H and focus on yourself. The OR is bound to fizzle out. I know how hard it is to just wait for that to happen but your best chance is to go on with your life, be the woman H fell in love with. When OR fails, he may start to realize how lucky he was to have you. Hang in there and try to keep busy to get your mind off your sitch.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
Thank you so much for the words of encouragement. I believe he is living in a fantasy world also & H really doesn't know OW that well, other than through emails, text message & phone calls. Even the mediator told me he could tell that I was a good W to H just from my actions the day of mediation. I'm so sorry to hear about your H & the OW. We do know what each other is going through, that is for sure!! How long has this gone on with your H & OW? I take it that you are not divorced yet? I have a feeling our divorce will be final by the end of this month. I'm not certain of that but I'm pretty sure it will be. So many memories, pictures, vacations, everything was all about us & I still cannot imagine my life without him. I'm really trying hard but it is not easy. I hope H will realize how lucky he was, the bad part is with H he never thinks he is wrong. So, I'm not sure, I guess it will depend on how low he gets. Thank you for responding to me & I'm so happy that we can keep in touch!
