Peace, My H is 28 yrs old and in April he will turn 29 yrs old. He and I have been together for 13 years and married for 7 & 1/2 yrs.
Now that we are reconciling, he has come right out and agreed with me and what I have been saying all along about him being in a MLC. He fully admits it and agrees to it. He says he has read about it also, and that he feels that everyone will go through a MLC at one point or another in their lives. I validated his opinion and said, however; that it is what you do and how you do it while in the MLC that counts the most. He didn't have much of a comment to my sly remark.
He is giving me a lot of hope allready, by talking about our future and having kids someday, and buying a home together again.
We talked about taking things slow and him staying at his apt. during the weekdays. However, he has had the flu and his heat in his apt. was broken and set at 59 degrees so he asked me both sunday & monday night if he could stay and sleep on the couch because he says he is much more comfortable in my place. I said yes, so he has been with me for the past 5 days-wow!
I still get really fearfull when I come home from work that he wont be there, or that he wont come when he calls me on the phone after hes done working. I guess it is all part of the game. TIPPER
I hope it works out for you this time TIpper...My H came back many times over the past year...too many to count and its just now he is finally getting counseling. But he has admitted that it was him and not me....I am happy for you though, but now is the hard part....
Take Care!!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
HOORAY!! I love positive reports. I am happy for you. Having that said, lets put on our thinking caps, so that this MLC - "I am going to leave" does not happen again. You say that he *returned* for the second time. What caused this turn-around? Michele says, "to use what works". Divorce Busting requires solutions. The great news is that he acknowledged a MLC.
I recommend Michele's Keeping Love Alive series. You made it this far! I am very proud!!
I am so thrilled to be back with my H again. It is very hard to piece though. And I am fearful that it may not last just because of living and learning from my past experience.
I honestly think that what caused his return was just how much and how quick he saw me moving forward. He had even heard that I had been out on a friendly date, and I think this made him very curious. He had also just gave up on his new business and is very low on money - but I hope that is not the reason.
We talked about the friendly date I went on last night, and I even showed him pic's from it - I could tell it wasn't easy for him, but he took it well. Then he said " I couldn't even buy a date while I was gone". That made me feel good - but also a bit hurt to know that he was trying to date others and didn't want me at that time.
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Sorry to hear you are down. I hope your mood shifts soon, but it's ok to be down. Acknowledge it. Feel it. Just let it be for a while. It'll be OK. I've found Pema Chodron's books on being comfortable with pain to help me with my rough moments. Take care.
I feel like I really need to keep some mystery going even though my H and I are back together again so that he is still curious about me.
I told him last night, that he drinks an awful lot of alcohol, and he just smirked. So no changes there.
This weekend we are going to do some things seperate, which is good since we spent the entire week together and H even slept on my couch all week. Next week he plans to return to his apt. to sleep.
He installed a new hardwood floor in my place, how nice.
Last night, he came to trivia night with me and my team and he told me afterwards how much fun it was and how it wasn't awkward when he was expecting it to be. So thats a positive.
My H and I were peicing for a week (kind of like - dating). Things were going good. Then we went out drinking and all my emotions just exploded at him. I was very angry and scared at the time. But I told him he is too much of an alcoholic and I don't like him going to the bars every night.
This turned into a huge fight(mostly caused by me). He convinced me stay at his apartment cuz I had been drinking and could not drive home. When I woke up, I went to go apologize to him. He pulled me close and kissed me and we ended up making love for the first time since Dec. (I knew it wasn't the right thing to do, but I had felt so bad about being so angry the night before).
Afterwards he told me he knows we have a lot of issues to talk about but he didn't want to do it then. I had to leave to go bowling on my league and I said ok, and "get a hold of me", he said he would.
When I got home, I Text him: "please forgive me, and I hope I dindn't ruin what we got started". He text me back "I am having reservations and there are a lot of things that wont be to fun to discuss, I shouldnt have gotten with you this morning, I am such a dog".
When I got back from bowling, he had previously come and gotten his things from my place. He has not called me all day.
I am afraid that I really messed this up. I do feel like the issues I have with him needed to be talked about and I just did it all the wrong way. I am pretty sure he is still deep in replay, and all my crying and complaining last night are only going to send him running again. This was my worst back slide ever. TIPPER
