I understand what you are going through and no one should belittle your pain. It is understandable.
Your dreams of a life with Amy have been crushed. But unfortunately, this was a bit of a fantasy. Amy is not the girl that you dreamed of one day heading down the aisle. She is very unstable and would most likely bring you down.
Find a girl that is going to make you happy and bring out the best in you. You are young, well educated and you have a bright future ahead of you. You will get past the pain.
Go out and do things that you enjoy. It will get your mind off Amy. Look for support from your family and friends.
I understand what you are going through and no one should belittle your pain. It is understandable.
Your dreams of a life with Amy have been crushed. But unfortunately, this was a bit of a fantasy. Amy is not the girl that you dreamed of one day heading down the aisle. She is very unstable and would most likely bring you down.
Find a girl that is going to make you happy and bring out the best in you. You are young, well educated and you have a bright future ahead of you. You will get past the pain.
Go out and do things that you enjoy. It will get your mind off Amy. Look for support from your family and friends.
I understand what you are going through and no one should belittle your pain. It is understandable.
Your dreams of a life with Amy have been crushed. But unfortunately, this was a bit of a fantasy. Amy is not the girl that you dreamed of one day heading down the aisle. She is very unstable and would most likely bring you down.
Find a girl that is going to make you happy and bring out the best in you. You are young, well educated and you have a bright future ahead of you. You will get past the pain.
Go out and do things that you enjoy. It will get your mind off Amy. Look for support from your family and friends.
I do not want to be played for a fool...she dumps me and 2 weeks later she is living with a guy and opening a joint checking account...i sent her a text message:
hey there...just wanted to make sure you call verizon to get on your own plan...or at least switch your phone over to OM name's plan...have a good one...nate...
I know it wasn't wise, but I wanted her to know that I know what is going on....she is fricken crazy....
Nate
Me: 32 X Fiancee: 34 Bomb: 2/5/08 Separated: 2/6/08
I hate to say it, but this started BEFORE she dumped you. She's not just 2 weeks into this.
You WILL be OK. Someday you'll thank her. You're not going to have any trouble finding someone better, someone who compliments your strengths, not brings you down.
I'm sorry!
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
Are you going out with your friends? Are you playing sports - basketball, tennis, etc Can you get a couple friends to go on vacation with you to Jamaica? FORGET ABOUT AMY... IT's OVER
Thanks Fish...I am really hurt by her actions. I tried so hard. You know that painting "Cafe Terrace at Night" by Van Gogh? That is her favorite painting. It is a real cafe located in Arles, France. Well, stupid me took her on a dream vacation last August and brought her to the actual location of her favorite painting. This is where I proposed to Amy. So everytime she looked at her favorite painting she would remember it as the place where I proposed as well...
I know that she met this guy at work in January...I remember her talking about him because he works with her uncle. I also know she began emailing him on January 29th when she she sent him a picture of herself. The email was returned because she sent it to the wrong email address. I know she started (at minimum) flirting with him sometime in January.
I just can't believe that she already has a joint checking account with this guy. She is going to be 35 and he is 26. I know she has about 100k in debt (student loans that are still building, auto loan, and credit cards)....maybe he is giving her money. The possibility of her getting back into drugs has crossed me mind....
As far as her contacting me...I see no reason for her to ever contact me. She knows that I know about this guy and is very subborn. Why would she ever want to contact me?
Thanks for everything.
Nate
Me: 32 X Fiancee: 34 Bomb: 2/5/08 Separated: 2/6/08
Nate - I want you to look at me as your big brother right now and it's not going to be pretty. I am in NJ and I believe you are in NYC. I feel like getting in the car and giving you a kick in the ass.
You did not answer one f***ing question that I posted. What the fu*k are you doing? Are you going to sit around all day thinking about some bit*h that screwed you over?
Dude - you are a great fu*king guy. Do you know how many chicks would kill to be with a guy like you --- the France proposal is amazing. The problem is you proposed to the wrong girl.
Get your ass out of the house right now and go live your life. This tw*t is not worth it.
Your sitch is so different than the others... we are married with children and financial responsibilities... blah, blah, blah.
YOU ARE FREE!! LIVE YOUR LIFE MOTHERFU**ER.
There I said it. If I was your brother that's what I would have told you.
Are you going out with your friends? Are you playing sports - basketball, tennis, etc Can you get a couple friends to go on vacation with you to Jamaica? FORGET ABOUT AMY... IT's OVER
By the way... she may come crawling back to you.
Fish
Thanks Fish....to answer your questions
I have been busy moving in with my brother. Work has been busy too. I have gone home (I live in Albany and am originally from the Plattsburgh area near the Canadian border) to hangout with my friends and family every weekend since "the bomb". I have gone out with friends every Friday and Saturday since Amy left me. I changed gyms to be close to the new place I live. I go to the gym every morning during the work week at 6am. I have started going to a counselor to talk about my situation. I went to an Al-Anon (for people that are in or have been in a relationship with someone with a drinking problem) meeting last week. I have also begun reading the book Codependant No More to help me understand my issues that contributed to the failed relationship with Amy.
Why would you say Amy may come crawling back? She has not really contacted me in 2.5 weeks...I see no reason for her to ever contact me. She knows that I know about this guy and is very subborn. Why would she ever want to contact me?
Nate
Me: 32 X Fiancee: 34 Bomb: 2/5/08 Separated: 2/6/08
Nate... Nate... Nate.... smart man learns from his mistakes.... a wise man learns from other people's mistakes.
My brother... I have been down this road. I have been with many women including chicks like Amy. They always come crawling back... it's just the way it works. You were her rock, she knows that. Unfortunately she views you as a bit of a father figure and she is the rebelious teenager.
This thing with the new guy will get old fast and then she will reach out to you for help.
When she does, politely tell her that your relationship is over and she needs to find support from someone else.
Happy to hear that you are out having fun. You need some alone time. Don't be in a rush to reconnect with another girl. Rebound relationships are usually a disaster.
If you have any questions or need support, I am here for you.
ALSO...
Read the co-dependency book, that will give you some insight into your behavoir. But you are typical Alpha-Male and that is what makes you great. Find a chick that wants a guy like you. They are out there.
Don't do too much self-examination. Your fine, you just got caught up in a bad sitch. Bascially, your a normal guy... maybe a little too nice.
