Hi peace- That is great that your H is coming to watch your kids tonight so you can go play with the band. He certainly does not seem to have a heart at moments...IMO, a good sign. You are doing the right thing by thanking him and preparing a backup plan for next week. I hope you have a great time...you are doing so well at GAL.
I am actually starting to like my "me" time now...I can get so much done and even enjoy myself where before I always had that "part of me is missing" feeling. It has taken such a long time to get here. It seems like you are doing the same. But that being said, it makes the prospect of our H's returning that much scarier...oh well, we need to let whatever is going to happen just happen.
So glad your D is getting better. Let us know how your church group goes tonight. Oh, and I am so jealous that you can play the guitar...I am musically challenged.
HI band will have to be put off --it will happen jsut timing mom is in hospital- shes ok but I had to take care of her tonight sometimes I feel like my like is one series of crisies im ok i have God..that was the piece I was lacking H over right away he says "IM NOT coming tomorrow Im going out with my friends Me: Great have fun! he helped S6 ride bike he wanted to talk work issues with me but D 12 very grouchy and still slightly sick so she was reacting alot 12+ sick+ no food= hard moments but I looked at H he looks so dark inside hiding shame not looking like a person with PMA or God seeking I was repulsed by this man in front of me the waste of time the unwillingness to seek truth and heal the loss of trust of the 3 of us to him a broken man still living in deep denial and on the edge resisting any real truth peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Hi Peace, Sorry to hear you are having to much to deal with now and your H is not being supportive. Like you wrote, he's not a happy man. He must be going through so much pain. -PH
I am so sorry...it seems like so much burden has been dumped on you. I know you see your H is a damaged man...it is so sad that he can't take more of an active role with you and your children...especialy when you have other things that need your attention. To us who are rational, this is a no-brainer...why is it so difficult for MLCers to see the pain and devastation they cause...if not now, at least before it is too late.
You did a great job at not reacting to your H being selfish. Our H's have such a long way to go...we just need to keep moving on.
I hope your mother gets better soon. You are strong and can handle whatever life has to throw at you...We all need to be reminded of that from time to time.
Peace, Your description of your MLC'er was gut wrenching and so descriptive that I could picture your H in my mind. It tears me apart what these guys do to themselves and family.
"Hiding shame" is something my ex could never do. Now it is a part of him. He seems to forget that he is now an adulterer who has abandoned his family.
So sad, but I know we have light ahead of us, with or without our spouses.
Stay strong
God bless....
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
I'm sorry to hear about your mom. When things get crappy for me, I always try to remember what I read somewhere - that everything is exactly as it should be. Maybe it was you who told me that.
Don't waste any time trying to figure out what H is or isn't going through. Spend that time thinking about yourself and what you want to do to make your life the best it can be. It's still a long road ahead.
Hi Thanks T, sh, UD, PH, Ng for your support and kind words
Mom still in Hosp she is ok and will be home soon, but every hospital stay depletes her more
My brother and I talked today mom told him H owes her money He asked why H stopped paying our mom money we borrowed 1.5 for his MLC Car..he only owes her a few thousand,and he stopped payment in october when she first got sick( pretty thoughtful huh)
I have asked H to pay -he said he would take care of it when H never payed its 6 months now so I told mom to ask brother to talk to him as they trust eachother and work thogether seems H lied to brother saying peace and I will tke care of it
I told brother to go easy on H as we are having problems(he didnt know we were Seperated)he knew we were struggling. I told brother I was hoping we would be able to work it out so now Brother knows truth he said he would not start problems for H but he wants mom to be paid and if things dont work out- or H messes up with me brother wants to know( said he will quit) Brother made me feel loved and protected H didnt want brother to know we split..he needs him at work well this has been a year we protected H from his double life eventually they have to reep whats due out of my hands i always felt weird lying to brother about this this year peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
