Well, things have been very quiet on the OW front in my house lately. Not any more...
Yesterday we went over to IL's house for dinner. We're all at the table, eating dinner and the phone rings. MIL says to FIL, don't get it, it's probably a sales call. So they let it ring, answering machine picks up and no message was left. A minute later the phone rings again. This time FIL says to MIL, maybe it's your mother. (My grandmother IL is in her 90s.)
So MIL gets up to get the phone. By the time she gets to it, the machine picked up and someone was leaving a message. MIL looks at the caller ID, turns around and comes back to the table b!tching that it was a wrong number, someone by the name of 'xxx xxxx'. The name caught my attention and I said, who did you say it was? She repeated the name.
The name on caller ID was H of OW. Which means OW was calling from her house, trying to reach my H. I looked incredulously at my H, who is is looking at me with this "oh sh!t" look on his face, and asked him if she knew we were here. He said yes. My mind was reeling. I could not believe it. She was calling IL's house!!! He got up to check it out, then tried to call her back. I'm sitting there thinking can't this wait until we're done dinner?! D14 was sitting there also looking stunned. IL's wanted to know who it was. I just said someone he knows. I should have told them who it was because they know he had an A, and they know OWs first name. But since it was her H's name on caller ID, they probably didn't put 2 and 2 together. But my reaction certainly should have told them.
H came back from checking out the message and asked me or D14 for a cell phone. (He didn't have his with him last night. I guess OW was so desperate to reach him, she got IL's number out of the phone book.) D14 graciously gave him hers. Then he went outside and called OW back. After dinner he listened to the message on the machine twice. I saw him put his coat on, which indicated he was going out to call her again, and I cynically asked him if it couldn't wait till we get home.
When we left, as soon we were in the car (not caring if D14 was there), I immediately asked him what the h3ll that was about. She's calling you at your parents house! WTH! And why did you have to call her back TWICE! He apologized. He said she'd been drinking. He said she lied about calling. She said it was her H calling cause he had a car related question. Stupid idiot left a message on the machine. That's why he listened to the message, to listen to the voice. It was her. I could tell it was her.
Needless to say, things were icy in my house last night, and still are. I guess it's been quiet for too long. Lord, I want that woman out of my life...
That's unconscionable. Why do you feel the need to cover for him to his parents? I was taught "Never shield an infidel from the consequences of their infidelity." I think you should have just said "It's (the woman's first and last name); maybe you should ask your son what it's all about," and let them do the math. If they ask you a direct question, don't lie to them, and give them a direct answer.
You would also be a good opportunity to talk to your daughter about "enabling" behavior. No one should be lending this guy their cellphone to use to call his girlfriend.
I wish I had told them outright who it was. That's just me. I'm the good person who doesn't like to make waves. But at that split second, there I was, covering things up. On the way home I told him I should have told the IL's who it was. Like I said, they know he had an A. When they found out, FIL told me they were really pizzed at him and that he's been a real sh!thead.
My D14 did the same thing by handing over her phone. I'm sure she didn't want to. But at 14, I don't think I would call that enabling. He is her father. It was a sticky situation. If anything, I should have spoke up and said no, not right now. Or, you can borrow mine ... after dinner.
Actually, the correct response should have been, it's not appropriate for her to call you here, nor is it appropriate to call her back from here. We're socializing with your parents right now. Do it later. But I never think of the best response at the spur of the moment.
That is a very difficult position for your daughter. I have two daughters - D20 and D18 -- myself, so I understand. What I meant to say was, it's a good opportunity to talk to her about how to handle it better the NEXT time, if it (or something similar) happens again. All she really has to say is "Dad, I don't feel comfortable with that; please don't ask me to do that again" if she doesn't feel like she can say "Dad, I'm not going to help you have an affair on Mom, I'm sorry."
Actually, it would be priceless for her to say something like that. This A has really hurt her relationship with him. He can't see or refuses to see it. It's so sad. Several times, I've asked him to talk with her even if it's just to say, I'm sorry and I love you but he hasn't.
OW is a pathological liar. She is claiming the reason she called for H at his parents house Sunday is because someone from our home called her house Sunday morning. She was working but her kids answered and someone asked if H was there. She said the kids did *69 after the call and the number was ours. So when she got home and couldn't reach him she was worried.
WHAT TOTAL BULLSH!T!
H was home on all day on Sunday until we went to dinner that night. So if he was home, why would I call looking for him? Huh? And even if he was not home, if I was looking for him, I would have called his cell but NEVER, EVER would have called her house! What a bimbo. I'm surprised her nose isn't as long as Pinocchio's.
H does believe me so that is not an issue. The issue was she was stone-a$$ed drunk!
She also claims people have called before looking for him, claiming to be his sister. Liar, liar pants on fire!
Court/legal stuff has been postponed several times now. It's been almost 8 months. The county where this is happening is really understaffed and unorganized! New date is next month.
