peace- I hope your D gets better quickly. It is amazing how selfish someone in MLC can be. They are so limited in what they can give emotionally...I guess you might try to be grateful that he got your D the soup.
I would love to find a local standers group...how great would that be. Let me know how it goes when you get to attend a meeting.
I am not sure if you really need to be apologizing for being human...and wanting from your D's father when she is sick. Anyway, let it all go and focus on getting your D better. She is lucky to have you.
peace- When I moved to my new house, I made my H come and get all of his clothes...he was extremely angry and acted put out that I would make him come and get his things. I moved all the rest of my H's belongings to my new house and here they still sit.
I don't really know what the best approach is...my thoughts are that when you know you are absolutely done then make him come to get his things. Only do it because it is what you want...don't do it to try to force an issue or to get a reaction.
My H also has a closet full of clothes here. I think I asked him in September if he still wanted them - can't remember what his reply was - something like, there's no rush. I haven't forced the issue. If and when I ever move, I'll throw them (literally) in a box and leave them here for him to collect himself. He asked S5 to bring him his tennis racquet last week. I really didn't want to since I'm not responsible for bringing him his stuff that he left behind (although I usually drop the kids off at the house for him). Luckily, S5 couldn't get to it in the storeroom and he didn't ask me to help since I was already in the car.
I say leave the clothes there until it's truly truly over.
I hope your D is feeling better. I really can't believe the selfishness of some of these mlc-ers. I guess I should be lucky that my H is not selfish in that way. It is only me that has to put up with his selfishness since no one else close to him knows anything. Well I guess the OW has to put up with his indecision as well - too bad for her!
Your H is saying he is done, but his actions sure aren't consistent with that (no filing, not taking his clothes). It seems like you do serve as some kind of security to him. IMO, I wouldn't take that away from him right now by telling him to take his clothes. Be the lighthouse!
Nature Girl M 40 H 40 M 15, T 19 D11 S9 bomb 3/07 (MOW)
UD NG Kiki SH Thanks for your responses you guys all seem to agree to ket clothes issue go so I will Just got home from ER D12 c/o bad pain in rib/chest and started hyperventilating she is oK and H came she was really sick for a while she seems better now H picked us up from ER and I got to be in his car the four of us felt so good like we were togterher he came in brought S6 to bed and I thanked him as he really did help us out I see a little bit of the old H at times he definitely still seems to play a big part in our lives he must be on the fence My neightbor who went thru this MLC with her H last year said to me "he will be back" he is on the fence and he cant stay there forever" her opinion is when they leave they are gone my H is here too much to be gone she said Hope she is right I have my doubts Her H is back..says M better now peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
peace- How is your D today? I hope she is continuing to feel better.
Quote:
H picked us up from ER and I got to be in his car the four of us felt so good like we were togterher
When my H was at my D's game today, it seemed so normal...so I know exactly what you are saying. Your H is still in there...processing. I know it is easy to have doubts about his return...it is like you are preparing yourself for the worst...but I think there is something to be said for being positive...look at steelers...we can all hope to have that kind of strength, patience and PMA. Now that we have been DBing for a year, it is getting easier (at least most of the time). So just keep doing what you are doing and it will continue to get easier (until they decide to return...yikes)...but have faith that everything will fall into place.
Hi UD NG yes D is getting better today the virus (bronchitis is going) I am grateful it was a couple of stressful moments H is coming tomorrow he changes his wenesday to thursday this week anyway so I am going to attend that church group with the band( i want to play guitar in ) so the door is opening for my music which Ive payed for- GAL at first h didnt seem like he wanted me to go and I still dont know if he will babysit thursday instead of wed but I will thank him and I will prepare to find a real babysitter if he decides he cant help me peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
