I like the book he was gone 2 years he answers many questions about what our H might be feeling thinking and their R with OW this is a bible ministry so it is highly religious. wife was following her heart walking with a close R with God
H here tonight we had nice friendly interaction h talk ed about his work- same stuff new day s6 left my cll phone in H carso he has to walk out to get it doent want me in his car he obiously thinks i was born yesterday
so all was fine i left he put s 6 to bed and watched tv with D12 and it was easy for me today no expectations no disappointments THEN again D 12 tells me this they went to store she asked H to buy me a valentines day balloon agin he sayus I dont love Mommy anymore and he wont buy balloon then i guess she pushed issue asking if he was coming home he said he isno never coming home she got scared I guess and asked if he was going to marry someone or leave her he said no he will never remarry and he will always come here to visit her so hard to keep hearing this everyday he comes thru D12 I told D to stop asking him if he is coming back boy he has so hurt us all damage is unbelievable and in his heart he is still done still looks depressed and tired peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Hi peace- I have heard so many times here on the board that a spouse said they were never coming back and did. Mine has not said that (at least not to me)...so watch, my H will be the one doesn't come back. Hopefully I didn't jinx myself by saying that. Anyway, I would continue to encourage your D not to talk to your H about the subject...but I am sure it is weighing on her quite heavily. Hopefully she is handling everything as well as possible.
Isn't it weird that they are so secretive. Like we are just looking for any shred of evidence to nail them to the wall...but what I find funny is that if your H were truly done, why would he care if you saw anything in his car?...that is unless he has a dead body in his back seat! I mean really...your kids get in his car...what could be there?
So work seems to be the only safe topic for them right now. Maybe we need to change things up a bit and throw in something about the weather.
Does your book give you any new perspectives on what our spouses might be thinking or feeling? I am always curious.
This is tough but you are tougher! I admire your strength.
UD the book does give perspective into their minds I find it very comforting to know How much pain guilt and shame they are feeling maybe more pain than us I recommend the book it was written by a prodigal
if you want to order it rejoice marriage ministries they have a big websit or I can give you phone # peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Hi peace- Happy Valentine's Day. I hope you were able to enjoy the day...my day has been a little strange but okay.
I found the book on the internet. Not sure if I will order it or not. I sure would like a window into the mind of a MLCer so I could clearly understand...maybe the book will give me the closest thing.
Hi UD 2N solo thansk for visiting Happy V day I had a good day Letting go more especially after H keeps validating his choice to go and hes not coming back I feel deaf to it already I still love him dont know why is it b/c he is unattainable or b/c of my kids he is a really bad father now the best he can do is watch tv with them yes I guess its better than not being here ate all but is he really present?? I dont know but I still feel it is worth seeing it through
I am standing for me I need to do this i am getting closer to God I believe this is the path to lead me to enlightenment like never before no going back H is just a by product the work is mine the rewards are great peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
I have wondered this myself. I know my H and I didn't have a perfect marriage (really who does???)...I never thought I felt that soul mate connection so, sometimes I wonder if we end this, is it that great of a loss? Then sometimes I remember the good times and how compatable we were and I wonder if I would have that with someone else. I definately do love my H...I just sometimes have my doubts about everything...I guess we all do.
Quote:
he is a really bad father now the best he can do is watch tv with them yes I guess its better than not being here ate all but is he really present?? I dont know but I still feel it is worth seeing it through
Your H is damaged. He is struggling to find himself...struggling to survive. He has limited ability to interact with the kids...but HE IS THERE (at least physically) for your kids...and not all MLCers are. Try to appreciate and respect him for that if nothing else.
You know peace, are we are waiting, watching for the pot of water to boil? We need to be as happy as we can be now. We have no idea what the future has in store for us. I say this because I had a long talk with my sister today who found out last fall that her 9 year old son has muscular dystrophy. The prognosis is horrible unless they come up with a treatment. When I talk to her, it gives me a totally different perspective on my own situation...while what we are enduring is tough, she feels she is watching her child die (or at least his muscles) a little more every day. What an awful thing for a mother to have to experience...plus she blames herself because it can be genetic passed on through the mother. I would gladly endure an H in MLC than what my nephew, sister and their entire family have to go through.
Okay, I am off my soap box now. Oh, and by the way, if your H was with your kids tonight, if there is an OW, it can't be too serious, can it?
Hopefully I didn't jinx myself by saying that. Anyway, I would continue to encourage your D not to talk to your H about the subject...but I am sure it is weighing on her quite heavily. Hopefully she is handling everything as well as possible. 
