ok, this will be my last post until I return from Disney. Things are crazy around here, and will be util we leave, so Im saying goodbye to you all now...
Going to get my hair highlighted in a few hours.. so off I go for that!
We are leaving Sunday Morning 5am will be back late on the 4th of March.
I will miss you all :(.. but Im hopeful this trip will bring H and I closer.. and get some alone time.
I hope all of you have a uneventful 10 days and keep the faith.. and I believe everything happens for a reason.
Love you all..
Tal
Last edited by tiredandlost; 02/21/0805:48 PM.
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
TAL, Be safe and have a wonderful trip! I'm sure this will be a wonderful bonding time for the whole family. Hope you get an oppurtunity to meet up with LWB!
Hugs
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Well Im back.. Actually we got back on the 4th around 1am in the morning...
Been busy trying to catch up and trying to catch up on all of you. Things are no better between us. Actually I am completly dissapointed in how things went. We never got to get out by ourselves, he really had no interest in it. The kids had fun.. but his lack of patience for them was really wearing on me. He was constantly yelling at the kids the whole time and had no understanding that a 2 year old isn't going to be a perfect little gentleman when he's had no nap, and his schedule is off... He snipped at me the whole time for every little thing that happend. I was able to keep it together for the kids sake, putting on a happy face, but inside I was screaming my fool head off!
I met a woman from england, which right away was thinking about you, saffie..and wishing I could talk to you, or any of you for that matter..
I don't know exactly what his problem is.. he really is a jerk, to be plain.
I didn't get to see LWB but you were in my thoughts actually as I went by chef mickey on the monorail.Did you feel my vibes??
I don't want to make this too long, but Im really depressed.. to top it all off he will be away a lot this summer and fall, more so than last year we just found out. So Im in a rought spot here. Although I wouldn't leave him.. mainly because of the kids, I have to come to realization that my needs will never be met by this man. He is completely self centered and controling, to the point where, I just don't want to be around him.
I think im changing and my whole outlook on my life is different. I keep thinking I have to spend the rest of my life with this man and can I really go on like this, my answer always is I Have to for my kids sake, they would be devasted if anything happen, and that would be more for me to bare then if I was to stay...
I know, Im not making any sense.
Right now, he is in work mode, and actually is a very driven person and motivated when it comes to work. I do believe he will be a rich man one day, but it make be at the expense of me.
I know what you all will say to me that we need to get out together, and spend some time, I honestly don't think at this point it would help, He has a one track mind and would only start talking about work not us.. In his mind, as long as we are having sex, he's ok with everything... this doesn't work for me, I need more than that.
Ok I will stop rambling, I will check up some more on all of you.. missed you all..
tal
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
I am so sorry you have come back feeling like that. I don't know what to say to cheer you up. Do you think your H has any idea you are feeling like this?
I know how hard it is coping with the children and their disrupted schedules on holiday and I know in Disney my children seemed to almost get sensory overload at times and then behave in a snipy fashion as they were so tired. I can't imagine how hard it is to have a spouse behaving in an irritable way on top of that
Your boys are just so cute!!!! I showed my youngest D the pictures and she was smiling at the lipstick kiss from Snow White It really makes me want to come back over!!!! Hopefully next summer........
It's really nice you are back.
(((((((((HUGS)))))))) to you
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Great photos, wasn't the princess meal great? My D4 was very sick while we were in Disney last month and the same as you I was struggling at that point to make sure it was a great vacation and smile through it and not engage any fights with my H. At the princess lunch she was lying head on the table lifting it only to look at the princesses and falling asleep in between, his big concern how much money we wasted(on the meal plan). It is hard to keep smiling.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
S5 is really a ladies man.. he loves girls..(great!).. he is a mammas boy... and so loving.. He was proud of those kisses let me tell you!
I don't think he knows.. he did say you are much happier that we are home, and I said well I don't have to hear you complaining and yelling all the time. That was it.
I don't know saffie, he is a extremely difficult person to live with. I am much more layed back person, he is high strung and confrontational. I guess im just tired of it, life is too short for this.
He is not flexible and over analizes EVERTHING.. which drives me crazy.. then on top of that he says this:
him: Im going out to Utah for work in may. Me: Ok, how long? him: Probably a week.. then im going to go to vegas for a couple of days.. me: for what? him: to gamble.. what happens in vegas stays in vegas (he was laughing) me: Whatever... I don't see that as being funny..
so now I have to worry about him being gone and over there... I don't know if I can stand it. On top of everything else. In my heart I just don't feel the same about him, and I think it happend over time not just "all of a sudden" I do love him, but probably not the way im supposed to.
Im feeling pathetic.. I know.. I should be happy that im home with my kids.. but some days its just not enough when im getting nothing from him emotionally.
tal
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
