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Congratulations, Luv. I know that it is hard for you to hold back and give him space. i am glad to see that you are getting good results. I think online dating between the two of you is an excellent idea.

Hi everyone,
Ok, I am feeling a little uncertain today. My H and I met online and played last night. While playing we chatted a little. I asked him if he had told his parents that we talked about reconciling. He took a bit to respond and then said that "there really hadn't been time and I guess we'll see how things go". He did say that he felt like we did have some great talks and worked out some issues.

I felt let down. It seems like he is one way here and another way after he leaves.

Thoughts?

Hi Luv-

I'll just give my 2 cents. I know how let down you must feel by his comment. Look at the brighter side of it. He did think you had great talks and worked out some issues. He must have seen changes in you too. You've made a lot of changes and that's a positive. Maybe he's just a big tired from the traveling and being away from you guys, although he may not admit it.

I think you're doing great and it sounds like you have a wonderful time together.

It's very, very difficult for us going through this. The negatives pop out like bolded print. You are doing WONDERFUL.

SueS

Thanks Sues,
I'm trying to not allow my insecurities to get the best of me but it's hard. I told him last night that I felt a little down bc it seems like if he was serious about wanting to reconcile he would have told his parents. His not doing that makes me feel like he's playing me. (I didn't tell him that part). I want to see him doing more than just talking, I want to see action.

I agree with Sue here, any negative thought or comment very easily overshadows the positives. If nothing else, consider his hesitation/remarks a sign that he is being cautious and wants to take things slowly.

I know that I become so eager to get things moving that any bit of foot-dragging gets very frustrating. I take a step back though and see how far we have progressed and tell myself "okay, I can do this."

Luv-

Michael has a great point. You have come A LONG WAY. We've all seen that. I seem to remember a point in your sitch where you said you were done, finished. You're doing great, really you are! You can do this. And it sounds like your H is coming around too. Slowly, but he's coming around.

SueS

Thanks you guys. I appreciate it. There has just been so much dishonesty and uncertainty since he left that I don't trust much. In the past I would have been calling him and begging or pleading for reassurance. I am not doing that now. It's very hard bc I want to see him do something. Anything! Besides just talk!

Luv-

What you're feeling is completely understandable. Completely!! You have been thrown all about emotionally for a long time now. Who wouldn't feel the way you do? Not many of us would feel much different than you do. We want the pain to end NOW. We want the reconciliation to go forward NOW.

I have to sign off, but again, you are doing a terrific job. Smile, okay?

SueS

Thanks Sues. I keep plugging along even when I feel like giving up. Things are so hard because more is in jeopardy than just our M. He is looking for work now. But we are in danger of losing everything financially too. He is also feeling bad over his parents situation. I understand that they need help and I sympathize but he has two brothers that live there. We need help too! Actually, we are in a worse position than them. I feel some resentment as I feel like he is putting them before us.

ok, I'm pulling on my hair now. lol but not. H had asked me to help look for employment for him here. He's in another state with his parents. I have told him that I felt like he changes when he leaves here. He's one way here, another there. He seems more distant. He seems more impatient and moody. He's down and depressed. I grind my teeth because if he would start doing some positive things, he'd feel better!!

He's working on his p.c. right now. apparently it crashed and he's frustrated and not feeling well. I had forwarded him some emails of companies that are hiring here. He tells me to wait and allow things to happen. I know, I'm being impatient, but our situation is dire. What's so funny is that I have told him that we need C to help us. His response is that he isn't ready for C until he knows if we are going to work. lol. We won't work until we have help. Good grief.