W downed a liter of wine on a quasi empty stomach.....the result was not pretty. She blew her stack (suddenly....after what i thoght was a pretty quiet evening) because she could not find some earphones and then proceeded to say some pretty nasty things....I apologize to all DBers out there but I let her have it right back.....she deserved it. How much abuse can a man take? I may have undone all my previous work.....I have a feeling with what she said tonight it will never be enough (I m not just talking about me but any other man). She needs some serious psychological help....fast. I don't want to abandon her in her time of need, but this is getting a little out of hand. Right now I feel like this is an uphill battle and I am running out of oxygen. I am joining the ranks of the insomniacs and to make matters worse, more effen snow is on the way.
things are relatively calm this morning....believe it or not. W asked me if it would bother me if she goes out for supper wit mil. What bothers me about it is the amount of time she spends with D7.....very little. However, I said that it did not bother me.....keep the peace i guess. don't know where all this is going anymore. all i know is she needs support but i am starting to feel like i need some also.
Given the liter of wine, I would guess that she may not remember much.
I know it's hard, but try to stay calm if that happens again. I am sure she expects you to blow up and you are validating her expectations. I know that it is easier said than done.
Hi John, I haven't seen all your threads, but it sounds like there are alot of issues going on including grief. Have you talked to a coach. They are very seasoned therapists that can help you figure out the best way to deal with all of this and to come up with a plan to get the relationship back on track. Take good care.
Karen, Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004 karen@divorcebusting.com
Give me a call if you'd like to schedule an appointment to speak with a Divorce Busting® Coach.
bite your tongue and do a 180..it'll help you. Really gotta let go of the anger. It just doesn't help. Remember try to make every interaction positive. I am trying to eliminate the possibility of negative interactions with WAW. Like biting tongue monday...just completely changed the conversation. Don't let her get you angry or aggrevated...maybe tell her I'll talk about it later and walk to another room. Anything to avoid giving her negative fuel. Easier said than done sometimes.
LadyDi, thanks for checking....things have calmed down quite a bit. W is out for supper with MIL and I am with D7 (schoolwork, lunch, prepare supper). You see the problem with my W right now is it'S all about her.....not my cup of tea....but like I said before, I owe it to D7 to hang tough. I won't lie to you though, last night's outburst did some damage.
Karen, i may take you up on the DB coach.
jmw, trust me there was absolutely no anger until she started with some pretty hurtful stuff.....not even close to being true. No excuses though I screwed up, i lost my temper.
john, good grief your human!!! losing your temper once in a while is not a bad thing. there are boundaries that cannot be crossed without some response.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
Tonight was much more cordial. Although I did listen ALOT!!!!!! I stood my ground on several issues...no arguing but made it clear that some things I can live with and others I can not. I guess she liked what I was saying because I got several hugs. We were not even sitting on the same couch. Funny that she still feels like she needs space.... Anyhow, W is very happy that she will have her three daughters with her for a valentines supper. I am in charge of the supper. W has decorations and desert...I have apetizer and main meal.....I am leaning towards a fondue.
