Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis What's this about...??

"God willing, we will prevail, in peace and freedom from fear, and in true health, through the purity and essence of our natural fluids."

Okay...so before we get all warm and fuzzy about my progress, keep in mind we still have a looooong ways to go. She's still talking to her EA OM (though not as much), and I still have to move heaven and earth to earn a hug. I figure I've got several more months, at least, before we'll start to experience any kind of epiphany.

Baby steps, baby steps, baby steps...

Bomb

"The slow blade penetrates the shield".....Gurney Hallik

Get this....

This morning, my wife LET ME GIVE HER A SMOOCH ON THE CHEEK as she left for work. She actually turned and tilted her head for the smooching event.

I'm simply flabbergasted.

Have I lost my mind? I feel like a college freshman who just got laid.

Go Bomber.

How about all those times we ran out of the house on the way to work and forgot to get a kiss goodbye. I would pay a million bucks for those kisses. All those hugs. I really miss them.

Small steps Bomb.

Sigh...

This whole experience teaches you that it's the little things that count. Maybe that's why we're going through it...

Bomb

Does anyone wonder if there's a "parallel universe" thing going on where our MLC'ers have a website that teaches them all of this weird bizarre behavior in an effort to wake up their spouses to help us realize what we've taken for granted, missed or just handled wrong???? I don't know, but I do feel like I'm being tested.............

as I was laying on the couch the other day I thought back to so many times my H asked me (begged me) to lay on the couch with him...I wouldn't...I was to fat and we both didn't fit...or I was busy doing something else...what I would give for a 1/2 hour...

Hi Di,

After visiting pathpartners.com and reading what some of these MLC women write, I'm convinced they're living in a parallel universe.

Bomb,

It's really weird. Sometimes my W reacts to a touch and sometimes she doesn't. Yesterday at the Globetrotters game she was walking up the steep stairs in front of me with her but right in my face so I pinched it. No Reaction. I also put my arm around her chair as we watched the game and she kinda sat up so my arm was only around the chair. Later we were danceing in the ailes and doing the bump, felt nice.

Everytime she gives me a kiss or a hug she tells me she doesn't mind but does't want me to take it the wrong way. A while ago we would hold hands in bed and she told me it felt really weird cause we had not done that in a while and it was strange feeling. I felt like i had a disease or something.

I think it is the Rage, guilt and maybe she has the unconfirmed OM in her heart and has no space for me. The whole thing is so wierd. Strangest thing i have ever seen. I miss the touch so bad and am trying to keep ML out of my mind.

Hang in there Bomb you are doing great and F her if she can't take a little pat on the butt. You did the right thing and you deserve that.

Hey BT,

Here's a quote from an MLC woman from pathpartners.com. I think it provides some insight...

"As I said, things seem better with myself, and seems better in the way I feel about Hubby. The question is, what do I do about not having any feelings of sexual interest towards him? Sigh - I do mean zero; do I love him? Yes. He's an important part of life and my day....but sex? Nope, don't wanna, don't find him attractive, not interested. The confusing - and embarrassing fact though is it's just him. I know enough about myself to know that my libido isn't dead, but I simply have no interest in sex with him. This is embarrassing, yet I've been wondering this for so long I'm tired of not having some answers, or opinions ... or something!"

My wife has said these same words, almost verbatim, in MC.

Many MLC wives will look to an affair to "relight their pilot light." The MLC affair will make them feel that exciting sexual desire again. But once that wears off, they realize they're right back where they started, and now, they've done devastating damage to their marriage relationship. Guilt and depression follows.

My MLC wife looks at me as her "friend". She's even told me that we're "just going to have to be friends, at least for now." Friends don't touch each other in "inappropriate" ways. The occassional cheek smooch and hug are OK. Pinching,fondling, and pats on the butt, not OK, even offensive.

It's painful, but part of the game, unfortunately.

Bomb