Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Every storm has a rainbow 7

H, don't give up. Tomorrow night if Friday. Make plans. Plan for son to be out of the house. Strategize!

I agree with Luv, you have to romance her!

Ask MIL if your son can keep her company. Get them a pizza and movie, they will enjoy each others company.

You and your wife go out or cook her a fabulous meal! Hold her hand in the car, put your arm around her, etc. Act like you did when you were dating! I'm sure she didn't make all of the moves then!

H, what's your w's favorite restaurant? Plan your evening out. Don't tell her where your going, just surprise her. Set the mood and keep it flowing.

Ok Yoo,

I was kind of thinking along the same line... Next friday before I leave and my B-day Party... But not a sleep over for the son. I could get MIL to watch him and just tell W I would like to go out to dinner, nothing fancy...I did get a b-day dinner thing in the mail 2 for 1.... Maybe try to hold her hand... talk.... and maybe a good night kiss. Before we pick up son....
I was also thinking about talking to w before I leave, tell her I just need to get away and think... I am not going to be meetig anyone except maybe my friend that lives there. (she knows him)

Also to night of this friday I was going to sit down with her after dinner and show her my vacation plan book, and talk to her about the places I wanted to see......

Ok?

H

H, you do what you feel comfortable doing. We will cheer you on!

(Oh, wow, Virgo fits my W to a tee.)

Go for it, H.

I know - Leo was spot on for me too. I nearly spent a load on horse gear today but stopped after reading my horoscope. Feel much better for it too - I would have been feeling very guilty by now!!!!!!

Sorry luv,

didn't see your request:

Taurus April 20 - May 20
Your bolder, more social self is coming to the forefront right now -- so get out and about. Try to go on at least one adventure. Pick a place, then get planning. But don't go solo when you can join a bunch of fun-loving folks who know how to have a lot of fun. One of the best ways to appreciate where you are in life is to surround yourself with the people you have chosen to include in your life. Remind yourself just how incredible your friends really are.

Ok I think I may have blew it today.... A little while ago I was talking to wife and said that I was goingto change a $30.00 part on the truck and see if that made a differance.. It not then I would park it and wok work on it slowly... (ok good so far but then I said)

"If I knew were we stood it would not be an issue. Even If I had to spend $2000.00 on the truck it would be worth it because I can't buy a new truck for $2000.00.".


Wife did not say anything.... she had to leave to go pick up sonI did not mean it sarcasticly.... it just came out...
When W got back with son she sent him out back to see what I was doing. I found that a main branch was rotten and would have to be removed. ( this is goingto make the tree "naked" on one side. luckly it's the side away from the house. I told son to see if Mom could come out side and look... She did and I showed her... the acted "normal".. so I don't know if she thinks I was talking about us or she thinks I was talking about her not having a job..This may depress her more.... I swear I did not mean to say it, but I have been supressing my true feeling for so long that sooner or later it waa bound to happen....

Later
Husband

Hey yoyo and saffie ya have mail

H

H - some comments from a guy's perspective (the ladies may disagree but I doubt it... )

Rather than trying to seduce your W and hint, or directly state, your desire for ML, why not try to become more attractive in her eyes? I don't mean looks, of course. What I mean is try to be more adventurous, leading and a hell of a lot of fun to be around. I think if real attraction exists, seduction becomes quite a bit easier.

The way we are, and the way we make others feel when they spend time with us goes a long way. Many, my wife included, feel personality and the "fun-factor" is a lot more important than looks.

I'm not saying your personality is pushing your wife away! I'm saying that you may need to instill the same PMA you show on this board into your daily interactions with your wife.

Regarding the comments about the 2 grand, why not come right out and tell your wife what you were referring to? I'm not sure myself if you were referring to her employment or your marriage.

Do not apologize to her if she took things the wrong way. Explain to her what you meant and maybe tell her that you could have been more clear by wording it differently.

If she did NOT misinterpret what you said, no apology is needed. It is the reality of your situation (her employment AND your marriage). These issues are things that impede your ability to make and act on decisions. You don't want to blame her or make her feel worse for things but she needs to understand what HUSBAND is feeling.

I have actually become quite adept at this as I had a tendency to make comments my wife assumed were meant in the worst possible way. I have turned a lot of conversations around (A.K.A. avoided arguments, the cold-shoulder, etc.) by clarifying my comments the moment I saw her reaction.

There is the danger, of course, that even after clarifying the message, her reaction will not change, or becomes worse. Unfortunately you and I are both somewhat comfortable in our sitch's now that things are at least civil. We can't let that keep us from being completely honest and shaking things up sometimes, albeit unintentionally.

As for you coming home to her on the computer and the dog needing to go out, this is life in general. Things become routine, mundane and simply ordinary. This is what happened in my own marriage.

Every moment of every day cannot be filled with laughter and romance but it is up to each of us to make the most of any situation. Is there anything you could have done or said to lighten the conversation, or at least to lift her spirits OR your own?

I may have reacted the very same way if I was hoping for a loving interaction but instead received her 'ho-hum' reaction (which is one reason I try not to anticipate her mood any longer).

When she said "I think the dog needs to go out." I would have said "You're the one at the computer, see if you can find him a date."

Would it have gotten her into the sack with me? Hell no. She would probably grin instead of laugh (it's not very funny at all) but making a stupid/smart ass comment like that may be better than simply saying 'ok' and walking away.

I'm in the same boat with you so take my words with a grain of salt. Just some thoughts on how I've been trying to deal with similar issues here on the other coast.