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latest thread that locked http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=891190&gonew=1#UNREAD

Wanted to wish everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR and keep my thread going. I hope everyone finds me here.

Happy New Year to you too!

How's the knee?

knee was doing great until I slipped on the ice today and bent it sideways. Going to doctor tomorrow to make sure everything is OK.

Ok, we were cruising right along and everything was going great. She even went to her lawyer and told him to call off the divorce. My lawyer called me and said that he would not sign off nor let me sign off unless she would sign a paper that she would not hold me responcible for the debt she had created this last year and a half if we would get a divorce in the future. My lawyer put it all together and sent to her lawyer and he advised her today to not sign it and that the calling it off part had not happend because he recieved that letter from my lawyer. Now the divorce is still pending and she refuses to sign the document my lawyer wants her to sign and my lawyer who is a friend of ours and also wants to see us stay together in the worst way is telling me to not sign off the divorce unless she will not hold me responcible for that debt she created if in case we would divorce 6 months from now. What the llll do i do now? HELP

I don't know the answer for you. That seems like such a Catch 22, you know? On one hand, you want to act "as if" everything is going to be great & wonderful and just "throw away" the D action, however, on the other hand, if she does decide not to stay 6 months from now or whatever, you don't want to be stuck w/ her debt.

I think you need to go w/ your gut on this one. If you truly think you guys are going to be able to work things out and your M is going to last, I would say forget signing the debt document. I would say, if you feel in your gut that you are going to be able to work everything out, "start fresh" from here.

Thanks for the responce, I think I will continue to act as if for a while and see what happens before I will sign anything one way or the other.

Jersting, not for nothing buddy but reconciliation means trsuting again. Fuckk the paper dude.....

I understand your friends protecting you, but if you truly believe her, you don't need protection......


Ian

Just to give a quick update, my WAW is now reconsidering her moving back in again. It all stems from all of the debt she made before she moved back. She is mad at me for not paying her bills from before. the thing is, we don't have the money to pay all of her bills and the bills of the household with out doing it with barrowed money. I refuse to dip into the borrowed money to pay off her bills unless I know that i won't have to try and come up with divorce money in the future. It would be one thing if it was just me that I had to take care of in the future, but I have to take care of our kids in the future no matter what happens between her and I. If I just pay her out of debt again and she decides to get a divorce later, I will be on skid row and my kids won't have anything either because she is so financialy unstable. She has proved to me numurous times that she can not mannage money so there is no way I will let her blow all of the kids money as well as ours. She has already went through in the last year all of our savings and then some. the only way to get us out of all of this is for me to refinance everything we own to keep from loosing it all.

Maybe it would help to have another person explain the finance stuff. Like a 3rd party- financial planner.

Maybe sitting down with all the numbers- this is what we have, this is what I will bring in, this is what is owed, this is the monthly.... all nice and calm- come up with a plan together (although you already have the plan-you can lead her towards it).

Ya I know. Sounds good on paper, and right now I"m hardly one to talk- with the way my H is with money (none of his and all of mine)...............

here's an idea

The last one to sit their S down and go over finances to ease tension has to buy the drinks next year when you come back to Vegas.

How's that???????

Well that is a good thought but I am afraid I have to buy the beer because she moved out saturday while I was at work with no discussion about it or anything. Someone called me and told me they seen her moving stuff so when I got home, she had everything loaded up and said she was just not happy. She had dropped the kids off at their friends house and they found out saturday night at 9 pm that they were moved again. The kids seem to be ok but I have not seen them, only talked to them on the phone. I get them thursday so I will know more then. I really believe that she has a mental problem and I have tried to help her through it but she just doesn't want my help anymore. I did try to get us to some counseling but she just would not go. I have found that spot that they talk about early on that you will know when it is time to throw in the towel and I have to do that now for the kids sake.