and yes.. what a great conversation starter.. " Hey, Have you checked out the lint trap in dryer 3 lately ?".. Not to mention Fabric Softener and the age old debate of sheets vs. liquid ? So.. there you go !
Hey guys! I took a day off work today to try and put to death this damn cold that's been hanging on, it makes me nuts! It's hard enough to stay sane when I'm healthy let alone when I feel like I'm walking on a cloud. Anyway, the sore throat is gone, hooray. So today while I was resting, I decided to do something positive rather than sit around and sink into the depths of stinkin' thinkin'. So, I got out my quote book and had a great idea, I'd pick out some of my favourite quotes and bible verses, print them and frame them. I have a bunch of cheap frames hanging around and some craft supplies the kids have and I went to work. I now have a framed Philippians 4:8 and a quote from John Wesley hanging in my living room. They look pretty darn good too. I made up a couple more to hang up in my office at work, I even made one for my XW for Valentine's day. Yes, I've decided to give her something. I thought long and hard about it and decided that as a Christian it was my duty to be loving and forgiving, btw she has invited me for Valentine's Day dinner with the kids. I made a framed quote by Thich That Than which reads "sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy" W has an incredible smile. Anyway, I thought it was non-mushy yet creative. I think it's the right thing to do on this occassion and whether she got me anything is neither here nor there. I'm letting my faith lead me on this one, it feels right. Now, today I was waiting for the elevator and my laundry hamper buddy approached and she began conversing with me, asking how I was etc. It was nice to see a smile when she saw me, it means my reaching out to others in these small ways is paying off. Little steps! I also got to meet her H...oh well, I still have my laundry hamper
I forgot to mention yesterday's interesting interactions with XW. D14 and her went shopping and it went bad, so when I talked to D that evening she went on about how mean mom is. I actually agreed with mom's decisions and while saying I understood D's frustration and disappointment, I would have done just what mom did! Later W called to ask me if there was something I wanted to ask her about sitch with D because D was badmouthing her and she overheard it. I told her I was in complete agreement with the decisions she made and had no issues with her. W talked about how hard it is to be dealing with D14 and even though they were hugging and talking more it was still pretty explosive at times as D got mad and tossed things around in her room, W let her be (hooray for small miracles!). Again, I empathized and said I understood it's very difficult for mom's during the teenage years iwth their daughters. W also asked me if I was going to the cottage with them this summer, if so, she would try to book a bigger cottage. I said I didn't know and W said if I didn't come the girls would be so disappointed and they wouldn't have as much fun. She said " it will be so hard for them and will put our family situation right in their faces" I said, "the reality is we are separated, the girls will have to recognize that we won't be doing everything together that we did before, that's reality!" Does it hurt to think of not going with my family to the cottage? YES, but I will not make such a decision until I know how I feel about it. W said she would then confirm the cottage we already have, I will share a bed with one of the girls and she with the other if I come. That's the best I could do. Yes, I want us to still be a family but seven freakin' days in the same cottage as my XW...ooh, not an easy thought!
Well, I returned to work today and within two minutes found OSB at my office door asking "did you put those notes on my plants!" I said "No, I did not, but I knew you'd think I did" She then told me that she'd never felt so humiliated in her life, so I empathized and once again denied any involvement. She figured it was someone trying to be funny, so that led to me I suppose! This time I AM INNOCENT, what a nice change! So starts another day in the wacky world of mental health. Have a good day everyone
Your W's relationship with D14 reminds me a lot of the one between my W. and D17. They were cut from exactly the same cloth, and therefore, neither one of them can either admit fault, and the words "I'm sorry" are in neither of their vocabularies. I have a feeling it will get worse between them before it gets better.
By the way, good for you for standing your ground with her, just sa you did when she insisted you were "bad parents". She cannot have it both ways. Your girls are at a very difficult age for all of this. They know nothing but an intact family. How does she think a divorce will make them less dissappointed?
Happy Valentine's Day everyone! At our staff meeting today I asked my male co-worker to be my Valentine, I explained that I didn't like women anymore so he was all that I had left! Oh well, it appears I'm still gonna be alone, he said something about tearing my arm off if I touched him, I said "as long as you spare my heart" Is that appearing too needy? Today I phoned my kids andWX, sister, woman friend, mother and even my brother to wish them all a great VDay. Tonight, I am going to W's for a pizza dinner and movie, I'm bringing VD popcorn which is red, the kids will love it. So I am also continuing to fight off this virus that has been kicking my ass lately, I think you're supposed to rest when sick but I'm becoming my ex, just keep on going. Last night I did my kid dropping service and then went to church for a DVD presentation. Tomorrow I'm out with my Dad and Saturday a church service with my woman friend and her girls. Whatis is keepin' on keepin on'. Later Dbers!
I've just returned from Hell night at the XW's. She was at her bitchy best and actually reduced one of the girls to tears in the course of the night. Yes, she was pissed because the girls didn't help her with dinner which consisted of throwing two frozen pizzas into the oven, taking them out, cutting them up and putting them on plates. All that added responsibility was just too much for W. She allowed the girls to turn on the movie and then somehow expected that they would then leave the movie to help her with dinner, oh, without being asked to, of course. At one point she stormed out of the kitchen, plunked herself on the sofa and announced she wasn't a "servant" therefore allowing one of the pizzas to burn! At one point I just suggested that I leave as no one seemed to be enjoying this evening and she then exclaimed "Oh sure, so now I've ruined the evening too!" A little later one of the girls asked her to sit down and watch the movie with us and she responded "Finally, someone actually cares about me in this house" Yup, what's not to love here! Finally she calmed down and the night ended better than it started. At the door she said "I just want you to know that what happened tonight had nothing to do with you, you are always welcome here" I thanked her for that. It was all I could do tonight from blowing, but I kept in mind that the kids don't need a blowout here. I tried as best I could to keep my mouth shut and be a guest, hard to do. W actually just this minute phoned to apologize and she said she felt badly about tonight. I thanked her for the apology, what else can you do. To be fair, this is the first bad evening we have had as a family since the separation but it certainly made very clear WHY I"M NOT THERE ANYMORE! I lived with this kind of childish crap year after year always trying to make it better, trying to be a better H etc. but the reality is I'm married to a child who just can't accept her role as an adult in this world. Everyone else is to blame for her actions, me, the kids, whoever else is available. It's sad. Well, that's my night. Bye bye Valentines Day!
Seriously though.. She has issues my friend.. serious ones ? Let it go.. recognize it. and let go . You have .. no.. YOU have a cart with wheels ! Move Along !
Tom, I've named that burnt pizza Muriel! Did I mention that this apology makes two now in the entire time I've known W. So she must have been feeling pretty badly, and rightfully so, to call and apologize like she just did. Almost makes the night worth it, almost!
