Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Tied to the Whipping Post

That's right Bro!!!
Heck tell yourself jokes if need be. Try your damndest to be in a good mood around her even if she isn't. Pretty soon she'll want to be around you more. Its the whole place of peace idea. It worked with my wife.




Good to hear! Stay strong too!!!

LURKER!!!!
*runs*

Punk,

I was playing catch up with your thread and have to say it sounds like there is a lot of good stuff with your interaction with your wife.

I could be wrong but what reason would your wife have to tell you that her friend says she may still be in love with you if she didn't think it as well. Plus stating that she may be in an MLC sounds like she probably did hear this from her friend but is using the "my friend" thing to get feelings out that was building up inside of her.

Add to the fact that she is taking you into her "confidence" with several different sensitive topics is screaming emotional closeness to you as a desire. I know I am not supposed to make firm statements and preface everything with "possibly" or "could be" but some of it has to be coming from something deep within her about your R with her.

It sounds as though she is testing the waters with you to see if the changes are real and hoping they are. Discussing faith and asking questions sounds like God has a hold on her. I am not surprised about that either. An article I read recently in Yahoo dating (it was on the front page of yahoo so dont anyone think I was looking, lol) that a majority of women desire men who would lead them and their family spiritually. I don't know if that is true but I believe it was with my wife (and I screwed that up as bad as you can).

Keep making these changes about you permanent. No matter what happens, and I would place my money on you two, you will be a better man that you were before (and it doesnt sound like you were a slouch before).

MMF, I am in a tough spot right now.

I addressed her being disrespectful to me, once again.

This turned into an R talk.

It did not go well.

I don't even want to write about it.

Expectations build quietly.

This sucks.

Punk,

You have to watch those expectation. I know what you mean though, they do build quietly. Still, remember that she is reacting to you out emotion not logic meaning that she is driven by her internal conflict right now, not by what is right for you, her or your kids.

Having an R talk is like getting an electric shock, you quickly realise that ti was a bad idea and don't want to do it again. Lick your wounds and carry on. In the long run, it means nothing.

I know it is a blow to your ego when she is disrespectful but why bother "Addressing" it? She is not going to listen and you'll just end up arguing with her. Just say "I'm sorry you feel that way" and walk away. Not only will she not expect this, it will be a 180 and also piss her off because she is not getting a rise out of you, which is what she wanted by being disrespectful in the firt place.

Punk,
Where ya been bro? I hope things are ok as they can be.
Drop a line Bro please!

Gman, he is taking a small break from the boards. He is doing pretty good, last time he and I talked (via e-mail). I will tell him you said hi.

Ahhh ok
thank you MMF

Boards can be overwhelming.
I think it is a good sign for Punk that he isn't here, he isn't overanalyzing everything.

Tell him I said hello will you MMF?

I'm back guys, I'm better, the sitch is worse. Or the same. Or whatever.

Imageer,

Having an R talk is like getting an electric shock, you quickly realise that it was a bad idea and don't want to do it again.

I know it is a blow to your ego when she is disrespectful but why bother "Addressing" it? She is not going to listen and you'll just end up arguing with her. Just say "I'm sorry you feel that way" and walk away. Not only will she not expect this, it will be a 180 and also piss her off because she is not getting a rise out of you, which is what she wanted by being disrespectful in the firt place.

Shock is right. Like that time the free end of the ground cable I was installing in a sub-panel hit the bus bar in the main box. I really find myself wanting to avoid it now. There's not a darn thing I can say that will move her further along, only a couple of things I can say that will be neutral, and there's a million things I can say that will push her back in.

I spent some serious time thinking about what you wrote about the disrespect bit. I think that you are right about this. What does it matter? Addressing it can only push her away, (even if she sees it, it's guilt,) and why am I trying to "control" it anyway?

Gman

Where ya been bro? I hope things are ok as they can be.

Doing good man, just needed break from constantly thinking about all this. I did anyway, but not as much. Sorry to read about your dog, that sucks. Hows other things with you?


Boards can be overwhelming.
I think it is a good sign for Punk that he isn't here, he isn't overanalyzing everything.

Hey Jack, you're right about overwhelming, it got to where I was spending too much time worrying this like a bone. Or overanalyzing. I think that's where we are when we begin, I was growing out of it, and started to slip back into it. (Insert Homer Simpson voice,) Stupid Expectations!


Thanks everyone for checking in on me.