Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis I need some legal help....

I sure have learned a lot of things that previously H has taken care of and it is very empowering not to just go by the seat of my panties

I wish I would have done this years ago.

thanks friends

E

I bet there's similar information for Ontario - things can vary quite a bit by province.

How long do you have to return the paperwork? If you have a little time, you could trying writing down everything you spend (I know, how tedious!). There are usually things we don't think of when trying to capture our expenses. Or stick in a miscellaneous category, if that's possible.

You're finding something positive even in this difficult circumstance (your increasing knowledge) - good for you!

Thanks E! Glad I could help get you started, at least.

Ingrid

I have not been given a deadline for the paperwork.

I left a note on the counter for H for when he came home from work:"I have never asked you to leave I do not want this seperation. I want my family.If this is what you want I will not stand in your way. We should talk"

Talked to H last night and he appologized for yesterday.

He said "I know you think I hate you but I don't,

I want you to stay in this house and nothing for you to change.

I know I will have to pay you and I know that you will get this house free and clear and that is what I want.

You will be so much better off with someone else that can make you happy."

I will give a brief summary of the conversation that came after this.....

I said that if he had questions please do not go behind my back...just ask me

I'm not the ugly nasty person that you think I am and you know that I have never been that way.

I told him that when I said he could trust me to tell the truth and to stand by him that it still holds through.

I will always stand for my family...today and forever....you need to know that H

I will not and have ever tried to get more than I have ever needed and I won't

He said he did not actuaaly fill out the expense report and that the lawyer asked for the paper work and filled it in.

I told him that I received his expense report almost 4 week ago and that I have not responded and when my lawyer called I asked her to wait.

I told him that I was not ready to make these decisions that will affect me for the rest of my life.

I aslo told him that he has control of his lawyer not her of him.

(He used to be so much more in control of things this is soooo unlike him. It's like we have reversed rolls)

He must have had some idea....anyway.....we both agreed that we would sit down and do it ourselves

If it got to bad that the lawyers would take care of it.

He is sooo angry and I told him to please not be so angry because it only hurts himself....he said yea

He said he wants to spend time by himself....I validated


validated....


validated.... throught the whole conversation.


I also said that I have learned so much throught his whole thing and that I really love the person that I have become...don't know if that was good or bad but I said it.

He also mentioned about rrsp's and this is the 3rd time he told me the same thing.

I told him I had already done it and he forgot that he had told me.

That's about it in a nutshell. Ohhh and I was teary eyed through some of this....not tooo bad though

Sorry about the length.

E

Be very careful, E.

He is MLC, and his mouth is moving. So, be careful.

(((((((E)))))))

I could not agree with dry heat more. He knows your personality and as you stated your "passive nature".. He will only try to take advantage of this. They usually are manipulative and cunning.

Money and assets are a difficult thing for MLC'ers to let go of, control is there ammunition.


Be kind and nice to him, but protect yourself.

If I would not have filed for divorce when i did, I would have lost my home and all the savings. My ex was on a major spending spree on himself. No matter how he talked about taking care of me, he did not. He lied through and through..

Just to be clear in what I was saying....I would say that he is lying to you, almost certainly. Do not trust a single thing he says. He will take advantage of your better nature!

((((((((E))))))))

Thanks for the concern friends

Be sure that I will not shut my eyes. I was thinking of this today.

I have already put a stop on our line of credit but told him I did.

We got the letters in the mail today.

I will really have to think long and hard about not bringing the financial statement into the lawyer.

I don't want to cause any more friction here and that is the excuse I will give him.

I'l let him know that i will not lie and I will be totally truthfull...and I will.

E

I could realy use some help!

Have been reading alot but not posting.

A lot has changed around here.

Found out on Sunday H has his own secret Cell, has put a bid on a reposessed house and is basically setting himself up for the big bye bye.

I knew it was coming and he said he was secret because he didn't want to hurt me.

Maybe so maybe no.

Was a very bad Monday at work.

When H mom and dad passed about 5 years ago, H brother bought and rents out house. BIL asked H if he wanted to buy it from him when all this started a year ago and H said no.

Well now offer is open again and i think H is going to take it.It is the house he grew up in.


Good because S 18 will be close enough to walk here. About an 30 min walk.

I hate the sneaking around.

Went to C today and she said something that hit really hard.

I have to mourn the loss of H as I knew him, like a death. Ouch i was crushed.

She said you have to let go of him and realize he is another person now and will be forever.

That crushed me and I guess I knew it but his body is still here on this earth to see and that makes it hard. Sooo hard.

It was a very rough day at work.

I felt so broken.

My heart is broken and so is my soul.

Today it was hard just for me to get through the day.

I just wanted to die and was crying so much at work today it looked as though I was hit. I was only it was in the heart.

I feel so empty and overwhelmed.

I bring my financial report to the lawyer on friday.
I'm so alone......

E

Valentines day in 1982 was our first date and it is so very hard to see all the valentines things advertised.

I just want to sleep this day away.

Is this the way anniversary's feel?

I'll never make it.


I fessed up to him tonight since he will be movng out soon, how exactly I foiund out about the affair and the proof that I had.

I also fessed up about how he left a note pad paper from the other hotel room with her writing right on the counter.

I also am not covering for his family anymore and I told him how the affair news got around and who spread it.

It felt good not to be having lies because he always accused me of being sneaky and underhanded.

I told the truth and I said he can choose if he believes it or not.

I checked our joint account, which H doesn't deposit money in anymore,it is for the house bills . His paycheck now goes into another account, and h has been spending money crazy for the last 2 days.

H has spent over $200 at liquior store, same at groceries and $120 at the spa in town. I have not seen any of this stuff in the house.

I have a sneaky suspision there is someone in the wings.Unless these things turn up on valentines day I know there is some one else and he's gone..............

I asked him if there was anyone else and he said "no" I said "there is no other person" and he said "yea 50"
what an a**

I am tring so hard to be strong and I can't.

I don't write to anyone here because I'm broken.

I can't fix myself let alone help out someone else.

Please,

E