You are sounding so much better! I know this is the hardest thing in life to get through, but your doing it. Pretty soon you'll be so liberated you'll wonder why you even had some of those thoughts!
Sometimes we have to try and put ourselves into thier shoes. I'm sure they are tacky shoes but we have to try right? So, can you imagine living with someone that is telling you how to make your every move concerning your life and your kids???
I know a bit of the background of your h. And right now all this is a novelty to him. These things wear off. I have this overwhelming feeling when I read the antics he is going through that when this wears off it's going to be CUT OFF QUICKLY!
Your a smart woman....how long could you actually endure having someone standing over your shoulders monitoring your phone calls concerning YOUR kids?? Not long I'm sure.
Be proud of the successes you are having in life right now. They may not seem like huge ones, but they are. You my dear, are moving forward, accepting the challenges with grace, dignity and fairness.
He is being told what to do, when to do it, and more than likely how it should be done. ICK! Those 3 lovely qualities in a relationship tend to EXPLODE right in thier faces.
I love the high road, I love the challenges. Yes the hurt and betrayal and the pain of the children make it difficult to keep to the high road, but the high road has no end, you just continue to exceed higher and higher. Those low skanky roads, well, they are full of potholes, rocks, nails and all of the other lowlife things.
I'll give it maybe 6 more months of him being told how to live his life before he dumps her. Be prepared.
Hugs to you!
Jeanette
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
STBX called to talk to the girls today. He started in on D9 about ow. He was telling her that she is really very nice and D9 needs to give her a chance and she will really like her. That ow is very special to him and that she needs to get used to the idea. Basically deal with it.
D9 said that she doesn't like ow but that she will give her another chance for him. She said that she doesn't know ow and she doesn't like strangers. STBX said that she meets new people all the time, kids at school and such. D9 said that she doesn't like adults that are strangers. So STBX breaks out with the you were fine with xxx and xxx (some male friends of his from work) so D9 said she is better with them than women she doesn't know. Then STBX says well what about your teachers at school, they're all women and you get straight A's.
What the heck does that have to do with ANYTHING!?!?!?!?
I so badly wanted to say that her teachers are NOT DATING HER DAD!!! What does he not understand????
THEN, he talks to D5. He talks to her for a minute and then he puts D5 on the phone with ow!!!!
I swear I would love to smack him upside the head. He is an idiot, a selfish, self-serving jack@$$.
I got on the phone with him to ask him to forward me the flight info for the kids. (I was nice as pie) I also told him I wanted to make sure that he is going to send the kids back to me. He said he would that they already have round trip tickets and that he isn't going to do anything to jeopardize future visits with the kids. I probably shouldn't have asked but I swear I wouldn't put anything past him at the moment. And since I moved out of state (with his urging of course) he could keep them and claim I abandonded him. That's what my fear is. But the way he treat them I don't think he would want them to stay there forever.
Your H sounds like my students lately. I teach teenage adjudicated boys. If you disagree with them or call them on inappropriate behavior then you get all kinds of feedback trying to justify their behavior. It is a very annoying process.
Kind of proves the theory that they are in their second childhood.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
If you disagree with them or call them on inappropriate behavior then you get all kinds of feedback trying to justify their behavior. It is a very annoying process.
I agree with MrsH. Or at least I think it was her.
There is a whole lot of insecurity going on here. With the OW for not letting H out of her sight so he can visit his kids alone. With H for trying to talk your kids into liking OW.
What's next? Your H telling your D that he will buy her some candy if she likes OW?
Give me a break.
Sounds like the only one who is thinking rationally is your D (and, of course, you). When she can voice her emotions like she did and your H continues with his selfish crap......
Poor kid.
Hang in there, Shades! You guys are in my thoughts!
They've already tried the "give you candy to like ow thing". Last week when they (STBX & ow) were here ow bought D9 the entire hardback set of the Harry Potter books in the trunk ($195) plus some other books and stuff. Nothing like trying to buy affection.
The evening she came home D9 said she thought ow had been TOO nice. Smart kid.
I do feel for her. She also said that she told her dad she would come to NJ for the weekend but she didn't want to come for the 2 weeks in the summer. According to her his response was fine, come for the 3 days this month then. Granted he might be waiting to see how the weekend goes and how she does over the next few months. But as of right now she is happy b/c she doesn't think that she has to go this summer if she doesn't want to. But that seems like such a childish response.
We just watched Auntie Mame. I forgot how much I like that movie. Tomorrow we're making cookies and D5 has a bday party to go to. D9 and I will start making her Valentine's for her class. Then the kids are going to my folks while I go have dinner with my sister, BIL, brother and SIL. Should be a great day.
Dear Shades, it is amazing how badly they handle ALL of their situations! As if they have taken how to be a prize a** 301, and all graduated summa cum laude.
FWIW I agree that it sounds as if OW is putting pressure on your h. Probably one of those sad people who has to have a man in her life to feel validated. And as we know, as the bottom of their little shrivelled hearts is the knowledge that what your h has done to you, they could do again to them, and with less remorse this time!.
What an nasty thought to have to live with.
Have a great weekend. I would love to meet you sometime
