Very good Frank. You said what needed to be said. She can add you to the list of things she is scared of. But that is good. You are not her doormat and she can stop walking all over you. Sometimes it's good to just let them know you are not stupid and they are not tricking you. Yeah, she was stunned into silence.
Also she knows Frank, she knows all of this. Fact is, ask any woman on these boards and they will tell you, you have always been there(sometimes eventually) and she EXPECTED you to always be there, no matter how much crap you had to take or deal with. So now you lead her to where the bear $#!tz in the woods Frank, and she doesn't like the smell.
Last edited by blyndfaith; 01/31/0811:52 PM.
I don't care what you think, as long as it's about me.
Fact is, ask any woman on these boards and they will tell you, you have always been there(sometimes eventually) and she EXPECTED you to always be there, no matter how much crap you had to take or deal with. So now you lead her to where the bear $#!tz in the woods Frank, and she doesn't like the smell.
Very good Frank. You said what needed to be said. She can add you to the list of things she is scared of. But that is good. You are not her doormat and she can stop walking all over you. Sometimes it's good to just let them know you are not stupid and they are not tricking you. Yeah, she was stunned into silence.
I don't want her to be scared of me. I do think AmyC was right when she said "When is SHE going to be afraid of losing YOU?"
Maybe never. But leaving me also means losing me. No more puppy dog / fix-it behavior. Been fixing it for 20 years and what has it gotten me? When I'm not feeling 'great!' it gets me more pain and suffering.
Originally Posted By: blyndfaith
Also she knows Frank, she knows all of this. Fact is, ask any woman on these boards and they will tell you, you have always been there(sometimes eventually) and she EXPECTED you to always be there, no matter how much crap you had to take or deal with. So now you lead her to where the bear $#!tz in the woods Frank, and she doesn't like the smell.
Yeah, and I haven't even told her how bad off she's going to be financially, and she's not going to keep her nice car because I'm not going to pay for it any more, and she can't pay for it.
I think I need another week before I approach those topics.
This is hard. I'm feeling better slowly, but it's hard not to be 'hopeful' that she'll 'wake up' and see that her decision is not a good idea. But, she only has friends who will support her decision and it's all she wants to hear right now.
I hope everyones posts are not coming from their desire to 'protect' me and 'punish' her. That's not my desire. I just want to get through this - however it's going to end - and get myself better.
No, facing reality is not a punishment. That's been the problem all along. It's a good lesson for not just wives who have clouds in their eyes, but also for our children.
you know frank, you've been her protector/gaurdian for so long, anything you do that in reality, is just making her stand on her own two feet, will seem like you're punishing her.
think of it as gently pushing the baby bird out of the nest.
on a lighter note:
you should see where Jeanette1120 keeps her TV remote!
you know frank, you've been her protector/gaurdian for so long, anything you do that in reality, is just making her stand on her own two feet, will seem like you're punishing her.
think of it as gently pushing the baby bird out of the nest.
on a lighter note:
you should see where Jeanette1120 keeps her TV remote!
Right. As opposed to drop-kickin' her like I'd be inclined to.
Speaking of kicking...Jeanette is gonna kick your butt, ford. Wish I'd have seen this 10 minutes sooner when I was still on the phone with her!
