Sorry you are having a rough day. As you know, grieving something is part of the process. I would have been surprised if you hadn't had a day like today.
Don't assume you know how (X?)BF is feeling. He might be in denial, he may not want to admit he's hurt, etc....
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
Thanks, y'all. I didn't go into town today, but I will tomorrow to my class and PT for my ankle. So I am by myself out here. Not necessarily the best thing for mental balance. :-| Y'all being out there helps A LOT!! Especially because you really know my sitch in a way that few people IRL do. xoxo
Dang it, lil. I'm sorry you're feeling down today. Hugs to you and well, just know that I have the utmost confidence that not only will you "get through this," you will be a happier person in 2008.
It is normal to feel a little incredulity once you have accepted things as they are. I have been periodically incredulous that H has been willing to live without sex with nary a whimper for nearly a year now. The incredulity is followed by incremental steps toward accepting things as they are. My thought process goes - "Wow, he really doesn't give a sh!t about whether or not we have sex. I can't believe it." to eventually, "He doesn't really care whether or not we have sex, that is what his behavior shows." The shocked/confused/puzzled feeling goes out of it and the same thing becomes a statement of acceptance. Then, I am left to be able to mourn the same. "He really doesn't care whether or not we have sex but I really do. How sad. Now what am I willing to do about it?" (jury is still out). In your case your are marveling that he is so careless as to not even value the parts of the R that you cherised. Now you are just left to think, "How sad." That's ok. It is just part of coming to acceptance.
Great outline of the thought process, karen. Very similar to mine, although your statement about him not caring about whether or not you have sex is something I have fine tuned into "she does not want to have sex with me." Lil's bf is closer to your H in that his feelings on the matter seem closer to apathy than to aversion.
Thanks, Miss IC, hairdog, karen... your kind words really do help. I agree, that ultimately 2008 is going to be a good year.
Bf may very well be suffering from this, but like most 7's he's probably just a) distracting himself and b) pretending it didn't happen/isn't happening.
Scott, I'm embarrassed to say that I wasn't aware a new Star Trek movie was coming out. What's the date? I was a trekker from Day One, the first episode when I saw Mr. Spock in 1966 (I was a senior in high school). I've always been drawn to emotionally unavailable men. Lil shakes head sadly. I never got into the later Star Treks as much as the original series. (Although I briefly did have the hots for Jean Luc... who says baldness isn't sexy?)
Lil, There isn't date set just yet, currently it says December 2008. I will be keeping an eye out for the date and can let you know when the opening weekend will be. It's going to be "reboot" with new actors in the original characters. JJ Abrams of "Lost" and "Alias" and his crew are doing the movie. They are currently winning the most secretive production award in Trek history, as there aren't any cool production photos out yet. However Nimoy will be in it, so that gives a good vibe.
If you want to explore some new Trek for you, check out DS9 from the beginning. There is some fun commentary about marriage done by the Klingons in the later seasons. The marriage epsiode for Worf and Dax is a delight.
Patrick Stewart did get name sexiest for TV guide a time or two, though.
Scott -Doing his bit to geek out the SSM board.
"Satisfaction is not guaranteed." Rule #19 Ferengi "Rules of Acquistition"
I agree, that ultimately 2008 is going to be a good year.