You have reminded me of this story that I love, catfan:
Two Wolves
An elderly Cherokee Native American was teaching his grandchildren about life . . .
He said to them, "A fight is going on inside me, it is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One wolf is evil---he is fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, competition, superiority, and ego.
The other is good ---he is joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.
This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too."
They thought about it for a minute, and then one child asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win, Grandfather?"
You have reminded me of this story that I love, catfan:
Two Wolves
An elderly Cherokee Native American was teaching his grandchildren about life . . .
He said to them, "A fight is going on inside me, it is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One wolf is evil---he is fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, competition, superiority, and ego.
The other is good ---he is joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.
This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too."
They thought about it for a minute, and then one child asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win, Grandfather?"
The Elder simply replied, "The one you feed."
Amy I had forgotten that little story but it is SO appropriate. It goes in line with my philosophy in life now and basically what Jesus taught us, just show love. I've been working on myself since early summer on that philosophy and feel like I finally have it down pat and it feels great too!
Now remember sometimes that evil wolf gets the better of us sometimes, he'll grab a table scrap or two but that is only short lived as long as you continue to care for and feed the good wolf.
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
It goes in line with my philosophy in life now and basically what Jesus taught us, just show love
Right. And I realized the same thing a couple weeks ago when I said to Jeanette about her husband "If you can't speak to him in truth AND in love then you might as well just shut it".
Just typing that to her practically knocked the wind out of me because I realized I need to be exactly the same way.
I've been sick for the last couple of days and don't you know my head started trying to do a number on me. I keep telling myself "I will not give place to the enemy". I don't even know why I started saying that particular sentence but I did and so far it's working because as sick as I am, I am still in a positive frame of mind.
I really have no "strategies" anymore. I have put myself and my family in God's hands.
You know Amy I think that's where most of us are actually failing. We get so focused on DBing and saving/rebuilding our marriages we loss sight of what's important, why and the impact it has on our spouses, families and OURSELVES.
DBing is about getting yourself back in shape but we get focused on "strategies" to win back our spouses. Really we are scheming which means trying to control someone else and get them to bend to our will. In DBing terms we are PURSUING which DBing tells us is a big no-no. Oh I am definitely the pot calling kettles black here and this is another thought I had a hard time wrapping my head around. I think this is especially true for us men because we expect ourselves to be responsible for our families.
For you, you can't confuse responsibility with compassion and support. Remember you can't do "it" for you husband and from a lot of what I have seen you post over the last year plus is you've been trying to do "it" for him. Let God do "it" for him and you give him the support, compassion and love he needs.
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
I was just remarking on another thread about how convincing I was when I was in MLC. Basically that because I believed my own BS so much, I convinced my entire family and my Pastor's wife that I not only wanted a divorce but I NEEDED a divorce. I did later go back to each of them and correct matters but as I wrote that a few minutes ago, it occured to me that it was only my Pastor that never said a word about my situation.
That strikes me interesting although I am not entirely sure why...
I was very close with him and his family and was around them often back then, even at their house. Heck, I was at the hospital when my Pastor's daughter gave birth. I'm mean RIGHT THERE WITH HER! I barely even remember her husband being there, just me, my sister, the Pastor and his wife and her...point is in all that time and in all those opportunities, he never said a word. He just kept feeding me the tools I would later need when I came out of MLC and some that I am even just now learning that I am in possession of.
Then the other day when he was holding my hand and I said "I'm back" he acted like he never had been the least bit concerned.
I think that's pretty cool although it's also a bit unnerving...
This journey is so bizarre sometimes.
I could just now hear his voice saying something he said in a service probably at LEAST 2 years ago...
Romans 13:14 NKJV:But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.
Sometimes, the experience carries with it such joy as is almost indescribable. You´ve known for some time that you needed to go to the eye doctor, and one day, you finally do. All builds up to the moment you don your corrective lenses, and voila, your eyes are opened--things are clearer than they have been in a long time. For me, this experience was elating. I was certain I must have been wearing a very silly looking smile, and was trying to contain myself as best I could. I remember a similar time my eyes were opened. It was when I "put on" the Lord Jesus Christ. All things had suddenly become clear. I was filled with joy, I was elated, and I was kiddingly accused of wearing a silly grin. I often look back on that time with fondness. But the truth is, there is no need to be looking back. Each day with Jesus can be an eye opening experience should we choose to allow God to perform regular "I" exams on each of us. And as He diagnoses and makes His correction, we get to reap the wonder of seeing things in focus once again.
You have reminded me of this story that I love, catfan:
Two Wolves
An elderly Cherokee Native American was teaching his grandchildren about life . . .
He said to them, "A fight is going on inside me, it is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One wolf is evil---he is fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, competition, superiority, and ego.
The other is good ---he is joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.
This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too."
They thought about it for a minute, and then one child asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win, Grandfather?"
The Elder simply replied, "The one you feed."
This reminds me of Amy Grant's song Old Man's Rubble:
"Deep within you there's a spiritual battle. There's the voice of the darkness and the voice of the Light. And just by listening you made a decision 'cause the voice you hear is going to win the fight."
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
Mentioning Amy Grant reminded me of something. When I was in Middle School, I had a christian friend (I wasn't raised in church) and she used to play a song that I did not understand but nevertheless loved.
I just looked that song up and here are the lyrics:
MY FATHER'S EYES
I may not be every mother's dream for her little girl And my face may not grace the mind of everyone in the world But that's all right as long as I can have one wish I pray When people look inside my life, I want to hear them say
[Chorus:] She's got her Father's eyes, her Father's eyes Eyes that find the good in things When good is not around Eyes that find the source of help When help just can't be found Eyes full of compassion, seeing every pain Knowin' what you're going through, and feeling it the same Just like my Father's eyes My Father's eyes My Father's eyes Just like my Father's eyes
And on that day when we will pay for all the deeds we have done Good and bad they'll all be had to see by everyone And when you're called to stand and tell just what you saw in me More than anything I know, I want your words to be
She's got her Father's eyes, her Father's eyes Eyes that find the good in things When good is not around Eyes that find the source of help When help just can't be found Eyes full of compassion, seeing every pain Knowin' what you're going through, and feeling it the same Just like my Father's eyes My Father's eyes My Father's eyes Just like my Father's eyes
That gives me chills to realize what I was drawn to so many years before I even came to know Him.
