Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums THE SEX-STARVED MARRIAGE Calling Corri

Regarding craziness, my feeling is that each of us is a little off, some more than others, but everyone has a touch of something. The people you interact with have the capacity to influence this tendency in either a positive or negative direction, and sometimes it's better to get a break from people altogether and regroup. I have a childhood friend who wasn't the brightest in school, but is doing quite well in all phases of her Life. When I asked her the secret to her success and happiness, she said, "I surround myself with good people." How she knows who is ultimately good for her, in advance, I didn't find out! I'm discovering that the secret to relationships may begin with asserting yourself and setting boundaries, a la Schnarch, but ultimately there has to be a shift, in both people, to want to bring out the best in themselves and each other.

Corri, I am happy to hear you closed off that AFF account; yes, you may be the owner of the pointy shoes, but you have an equally intense vulnerability as well. I love how Lou, Lil, and others are watching out for you, and the way this whole board seems to watch out for each other.

IC I knew you were kidding Corri.

Corri, I am concerned about everyone on the forum, even if I don't approve or understand why they do some things.

I am not against having fun/a good time/ or what ever one calls it. I am risk aversive, especially when the risks are long term, have a high potential price, or are way past a moral boundary.


As far as Corri being cryptic, I can say some of her posts cause one to guess about lots of things. I was that too until I worked in the group home. No room for guessing or most of the time no room for opinions.

One female employee thought two kids had sex in a room. It was at a co-ed facility. She wrote a report that the kids looked like their clothes were different than she had seen them 5 minuets earlier and the room smelled musty, like she remembered when she had sex with her partner.

The clothing looking different was an observation, so it was "legal" according to the reviewing case worker. The “musty smell” was an opinion and subjective and that idea was thrown out.

To make matters worse, typically when a case manager or judge throws out some parts of what many people called evidence or clues, “musty smell in this case, the person that included the clues gets reprimanded or made to look foolish.

Some of the above implied reasons, is why I include details that might look like whining or giving too much information that maybe should have been withheld for discretionary reasons.

Lou

RJ:



Thanks for seeing it. When the vulnerable side comes out, it seems to concern people a bit... I appear to be a bit off my rocker.

Fact is, I'm just not all that good at expressing/handling my own vulnerability. I don't regret it, though. I'm learning. I suppose that is why I even allow myself to get a little kooky on here, why I've told people of my own struggles, the depth of my pain that I poured alcohol all over for sometime... the AFF thing.

I post it because I can see it as clearly as anyone else can... I'm not lying about it, nor making excuses for it... I'm looking at it, just like everyone else, and I say to myself, "Get a grip, girl."

That's probably TMI for lots of folks. Shrug. It's a heck of a lot better than what I used to do in my life. It'll swing back to center, eventually. I know it will, because I have no intention of failing. I have no intention of becoming a wolverine. It's tempting, certainly. But I'd rather have these feelings of mine wipe me out, turn me upside down, flatten me on my back, and whatever else it is that they do to me... so I can learn to deal with them, instead of stuffing them. <-- Did that too long.

I'm not real good with the anger part of it. I've never been good at constructively handling or expressing anger. I think that's pretty obvious. Right now, it's either coming out a bit strong, or I go the other way, and get all weepy/sappy/depressing. In my previous life... I'd just SIT on all of that... stuff it. {head shake} THAT'S no good.

Actually, none of the above is really good at all, not even when I look at it myself. But. There is some happy medium in there, and I intend to find it.

Thanks, RJ.

I am LMAO about the "musty smell" being thrown out as subjective. What if the accusation had been that they were smoking and the employee had said she could smell cigarette smoke. I bet that would be regarded as an observation. It is just that no-one wants to admit that they have smelt that same smell and know what it means. Therefore they are acting like it is all in her imagination. LOL!