Something I have never understood is why LD women look at sex in such a different way as compared to HD women or HD men. LD women seem to focus on how the sex will be for them and if they are in the mood. I tend to see sex in terms of GIVING great pleasure to another human being, not in terms of weather I have an orgasam. In fact, many times I only want to do her, it is not for me. So why don't LD women want to GIVE incredible pleasure to another human being?
Some of the LD women on here actually GIVE BJ's because they actually ENJOY giving the man this pleasure, but most LD women DON't think that way. WHY? It just seems so incredibly selfish (a term that IS used in conjuction with LD). Since LD women are NOT giving pleasure to their spouses, what do LD women actually think that they ARE giving to their spouses? My guess is that LD women actually BELIEVE that something in all the many things they do is actually GIVING something to their spouse, but what is it?
I thought wanting to give your spouse pleasure isn't enough, cemar. I thought "giving" was "bad". I thought they had to have this raging desire for you or it doesn't "count." Which is it?
Cemar, you irritate me. Every time I actually try to answer one of your questions, you ask another dumb one that is absolutely unanswerable. I don't even KNOW FOR SURE whether I am LD or HD so how the hell do I know what one or the other THINKS.
And, just for the record, I'm not just "trying to give him more sex," I am trying to work on saving my M and making it a good place FOR BOTH OF US. I actually enjoy S now that we are having it more and on a regular basis. I like it when I feel comfortable enough to come out of my shell a bit and try new & different things. I'm NOT "just doing it for H."
And, since you are such the expert, all of the things you said described HD women pertain to me as well SOOOO according to Cemar, I must be HD. All of these things are how I feel as well: "Some HD women on here make it clear that they WANT to give pleasure to their husbands, that being a great lover to their husband actually makes them feel better about themselves. HD women LIKE the effect they have on their men, they LIKE giving incredible pleasure, they WANT to be great lovers."
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Thanks for asking. I am very low. Not as low as when I was doing really stupid things a couple years ago. But probably about as low as I was pre-A.
When I read hairdog's letter, I remembered somebody saying that great writing wasn't necessarily great because it said something new, but because it eloquently said something that you already feel or know. I don't know where I would put myself in that spectrum of feeling, but I am not far from him. My W has reiterated to me several times over the past few months that she doubts she will ever have sexual attraction for me, except when her hormones were "high." Now that she is on the Mirena (hormone IUD), she doubts that will ever happen again. When we got in a conversation about showing love to each other, she mentioned that she "sometimes cooks things for me even though she knows she and the kids don't like it" and "puts away my clothes in the drawers after washing them." Hairdog's "platonic love" description nailed it. Yes, those things do make me feel loved, but not in a husband/wife sort of way, kwim?
Anyway, I could go on but right now I am fighting the "giving up" feeling by just doing the GAL thing for now. I have been rather physically sick the past month or so. That combined with a trip that went horribly bad due to weather has kept me occupied and out of the SSM loop. I'm just now getting caught up with business emails, much less personal ones. My brother wants to have a family get together soon and I haven't even responded in 3 weeks.
I guess in a word ... blech. But hey, other than being sick and feeling hopeless about my M, things are great. I mean that, everything else is going swimmingly. Work is great, kids are fantastic, got several new things going on, student's love me. Go figure.
/hijack{over}
Chrome
p.s. Redhead ... most of us are past being irritated at Cemar and are just fervently waiting for a wake-up call from God or something. He really is a smart and caring guy, he's just been stuck in a bad loop for a LONG while. Although I disagree with him on many things, I do empathize sometimes. I did my share of angry responses to him in the past. Now I wonder if developing patience with CeMar is some life test we all have to pass to be elite SSM members. LOL Just having a little fun at your expense CeMar, no insult intended.
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
Now I wonder if developing patience with CeMar is some life test we all have to pass to be elite SSM members.
Don't forget my theory that cemar is really a Yale fraternity, the same one that used to send in bogus letters to Dear Abby. It seems to me that cemar's activity rises and falls with school vacations...
Now I wonder if developing patience with CeMar is some life test we all have to pass to be elite SSM members.
Don't forget my theory that cemar is really a Yale fraternity, the same one that used to send in bogus letters to Dear Abby. It seems to me that cemar's activity rises and falls with school vacations...
Chrome, I feel for you, man. I am not in an SSM at the moment, well kind of, but only b/c he's gone right now, but I am having other "issues" that totally suck! Feeling physically ill could slightly describe it too, but WAY worse. Let's just say I've gotten myself up [censored] creek w/ pain meds & leave it at that.
What's up w/ this IUD thing and why would that affect her in such a negative way? The hormones?
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
