OK, Pamar here. Didn't realise my last thread had locked up before the New Year.
Away for 4 days with relatives (w's side) and had a great time. Acted cool and did things with the kids (all 9 of them!). W mellowed also and enjoyed the trip.
Off week for her, but still intimate just before New Year Now just waiting for my 2008 fun (lol)!
We are now both starting to gear up for our Marathon in May (my present to her) and boy, do I hate running! W at work today, so I am looking after tired kid one and two (bouncing off the walls). I'm also going to empty the car and sort out the washing. A basic at home day, but keeping busy and making sure that she is looked after when she gets home.
You spent a mellow few days with your W, you got some intimacy and you are both training for a very intense physical experience. I'd say your 2008 is getting off to a great start.
Good luck, and I hope all your dreams are fulfilled in 2008.
Regards, drz
PS...if you have never run a marathon before then watch out for that "wall"...you will hit it around 18 miles and just be sure you are near your W at that time...you can then be the hero that supports her physically and emotionally and helps her complete her marathon...obviously you will be trying to run a personal best and she'll realise you sacrificed your goals to help her complete her race...she'll melt...she'll let you massage her aching body...then bingo you'll get your fun!
OK, probably a long post but bear with me…been off the grid for a while.
Lots has happened since last post, mostly around W and her changing jobs. She left the job that she loved (but wasn’t compatible with children i.e. she never saw them during the week and was too tired at the weekend) and started the new job, nearer home on Tuesday. She has been feeling really ill all week, so most nights has come in and slept on the couch.
On the Monday, however, she went for an interview and was offered another job – which she has verbally accepted. This one offers much more flexibility and is in a different company – away from OM. W has a job that is in demand (Pharmacist), so she can almost chose jobs and where to work.
I also think W is accepting/understanding that she is having a MLC, but is still attached to OP. This is where this board can give me some sound advice.
W has received a letter inviting her to a meeting with her colleagues in London. OP will more than likely be there and it is in February. W has started the process of resigning from company and when I gently raised the issue of her attending this meeting; she still wants to go ‘To say goodbye to my friends’. I have no issue with this, but I do have the issue that she will be going to a hotel for an overnight.
My question is how do I approach this? I can state that this meeting is causing me apprehension (she hasn’t physically seen OP for 9 months - contact by phone only) and whilst I do not like the contact, the thought of them being physical would be too much to bear. Whilst I do not want to prevent her from going to this meeting, I don’t want her to spend the night there.
I know that she would not be able to lie to me, but I also want to trust her, so I want to phrase it in such a way that helps.
Thanks in advance for all the responses.
Apart from that, W has been ill and I have looked after her. Intimate last night and probably more over the weekend. I equate this to positive, as if I repulsed her, she would not allow me near her.
Is there any way that you could go too? Kind of making it a little holiday? maybe stay an extra night and see some sights? I know child care may be a problem. Could they come too?
Just a thought..
Great on the MIL... I am still waiting....
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
husband thought what I thought...maybe you could join her. I would say you are going to have to 'let' her go, and just voice your concern. Glad she is making the change in jobs though, that shows she is moving on.
You are so right about the intimacy. I think many WAW's stay far away from their husbands, the men willing to forgive and love them no matter what. Your W would not be with you if she didn't want to...
I agree with Husband... make it a nice holiday for both of you!!
I apologize for not being up to speed, but does she know that you know OP will probably be there?
If she does, I would just be honest. I'd say "I have no problem with you going to say goodbye to your friends. I am a little apprehensive that OP will be there though."
Leave it at that.. don't imply anything beyond that (assault).
Not sure how she would react to that, you would know what's best there.
I agree with the others. If there was anyway you could go too. A night away in a hotel would be great even if you don't get to go to the company do. Perhaps you could make a couple of days of it and do something either earlier in the day or the next day.
I'm sure you could get someone to look after the children for just one night. Don't make it about the OP, make it about some quality adult time together.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
I have a friend at work (he is 45) whose W had an A last year. They went to Retro, counseling, and are working on fixing things. One of his 'boundaries' was that she wasn't to travel alone until he was ready to trust her. Next week, she is going on a work trip and she invited her H. He suggested they sell the diamond earrings OM got her (packed away in the basement) to pay for his trip.
Now just waiting for my 2008 fun (lol)!
