Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives For Newcomers Archives Starting to get it.... my 3rd thread

Thanks fb2... i start rambling on and on sometimes and i'm afraid all i'm doing is confusing people. It's also hard when you have to read 20 something pages of someones sitch to get an idea about things. I really do appreciate the advice! I'll read #2 again though.

I bought H a psp yesterday. He was really excited about it , but then spent most of the night playing it ... hopefully it was just the excitment of the new toy.

talked with a girlfriend last night about whole sitch, she knows most of the details and is always there to give advice or just listen. There are very few people in my life that understand why I'm still fighting for my M because they say i could easily move on and i'm so young... blah blah blah... I guess it just makes me value the other friendships even more. Anyways, it was just really nice to sit down with someone and just vent. She totally gets where i'm coming from and while she doesn't have any substantial advice it's just really nice to have that support. That's what i love about this BB. the support. Thanks everybody!

Of course it was the excitement of the new toy. You've told me many times how he gets so excited about new gadgets. I'm sure he appreciated the fact that you thought of him and bought it for him. I do something nice for my H and he ends up doing something to hurt me. I can't win.

I'm sure it was, i just hope the excitement wears off quickly... *fingers crossed*

Hang in there ((((blindsided))))

we are at much different places, I know it's hard, but in time, if your H gets his head back on straight, he'll appreciate all the little things you do.

another day... not much has changed...

H is going out of town over night tomorrow. He'll leave before i go to work and won't be back until late on Saturday. He is concerned that i'll be getting online and, as he put it, playing around. Here is how i responded to him:

I won't "play" on the internet. i have not intention of even getting on the computer. If it would make you feel better you could like take the modem or something. I know D3 will want to play her game, but she'll live for one day. My friend will be there with me(i asked a girlfriend to stay, so he'd be less concerned about me being alone to do as i pleased). Do you want Your Friend to stay or something instead. I'd be fine with that if it would make you feel more comfortable. (he asked me if i was happy here at home) I am happy. Regardless of location, as long as I have you and the girls I'll be happy. You don't have to apologize for that. I understand why you would be worried about leaving. All I can do is promise that I won't be getting online or anything. I know you don't trust me yet, but that's all I have to give you right now.

He didn't respond. This was actually yesterday and he hasn't said anything about it, so I'm assuming that it was either ok or he just doesn't want to talk to me about it...

I think it's hard for guys (or maybe just my H ) to understand how it feels to be pregnant and the signals your body gives you. I know when i need to sit down and take a break. I know when my blood sugar drops and i need to eat something. I know how far i can push myself without hurting myself. I've done this 3 times now, i think that's pretty good practice. I just wish he'd take me more seriously when i say i need a break than just assuming i'm being lazy. I rarely sit down just to do it, so he should know. I still take the break, i just get an attitude from him about it... whatever, guess it doesn't really matter.

just feel like nothing is really happening one way or the other. I know that i'm in a better place than alot of people here, but i still feel kinda like i'm in limbo and it's not a fun place.

Limboland is not a fun place to be. I know your pain and frustration with being stuck there. Love is patient...

Chalk it up to being in a different place. It doesn't mean it's necessarily any easier than what the rest of us are going through. It's still painful, right? It's interesting to see your side of things, makes me understand what my H may go through if he ever decides to come home. Just remember, you get a whole day to relax and not try to please while your H is out of town. Make the most of it and try to have fun with your friend. How many weeks are you, now? Around 20? I'm at 16, still haven't gained a thing, feel great except for being tired and emotionally drained. I feel blessed in that respect.

Thanks bhopeful... i appreciate the encouragement. Love is patient and kind and never fails (and all the stuff in the middle)... I just keep trying to remember that!

Hi Blindsided... I just feel like this is such a weird situation. I was unhappy with him and not in love, so he asks me for a D. we lived basically seperate lives for 5 months or so and then he wants to work on it, but doesn't actually want to do anything. I had an EA during the time in between, so i know that it makes it harder, it's just frustrating to hear him keep saying that he wants to work on it and am i happy yet, when i can't actually see anything from him. I guess i just need to be grateful that he came back at all because we could have actually gotten the D and then where would i be...

just about 20 weeks. On Tuesday I think... that's the day i find out if we are having another little girl or a baby boy... time is barely creeping by.

Didn't fb2 say it earlier about asking for what you want. I'm sure that you have tried that, but next time he asks if you're happy yet, explain that you are getting there, but such and such would help you move further along - ask for what you want if he isn't doing it. He may also be stubborn and think that maybe he doesn't have to put any effort in because he "blames" you still. I could be way off base and maybe you've already covered this, but just my 2 cents

Didn't fb2 say it earlier about asking for what you want. I'm sure that you have tried that, but next time he asks if you're happy yet, explain that you are getting there, but such and such would help you move further along - ask for what you want if he isn't doing it. He may also be stubborn and think that maybe he doesn't have to put any effort in because he "blames" you still. I could be way off base and maybe you've already covered this, but just my 2 cents