Let me ask you this...why was being strong puppy important? If Denzel had come home from his Very Bad Day and been strong St. Bernard, strong wolf or even strong monkey, how would that have been worse than being strong puppy? Under what circumstances would you rather see strong puppy than any other strong animal?
The best I can explain it is that if a man never vibes puppy it's like he doesn't have any feelings. If I ever met a man whose puppy I couldn't see, I would never concern myself with hurting his feelings because I wouldn't be able to tell that he had any. The reason I used to think LD women were so b*tchy was because I couldn't understand how they could be so cruel to the puppy. I guess it's really the dichotomy that I like of seeing the puppy in a man. Maybe a guy isn't really feeling puppy when he does this but I always "see" a guy as puppy if he sleeps with his head on my breasts. I guess any gesture or vibe that a guy gives off that makes me feel tender-hearted makes me see him as "puppy". It does have something to do with being maternal but it's not that I'm seeing him as a baby. It's more like I'm seeing him as someone who once was a baby, the son of another human woman like me who was born vulnerable and therefore sometimes needs care.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Stig and Blackfoot both killed their bunnies, and that is precisely their point, I think.
But they phrased it as killing their puppies and some objected. I wonder if there would have been any objections if they'd called it killing their bunnies.
My observation is that women really don't care if a man has a puppy or not but if he does, it had better be a strong puppy and only come out in times of true crises.
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My observation is that women really don't care if a man has a puppy or not but if he does, it had better be a strong puppy and only come out in times of true crises. I agree Burgbud.
Some women say they want to see puppy, OK may be to pet and mother, but when the puppy wants to play aggressive, watch out. Stay in puppy mode too long then the wolf loses his costume. In effect, the woman got to look behind the Wizzard of OZ curtain and then that is what she sees.
Just like a woman saying she doesn't want much for her Bday. Don't listen to that line.
I get the part of a woman wanting to take care of a man at times. So do most men, want to take care of a woman. Lou
Stig and Blackfoot both killed their bunnies, and that is precisely their point, I think.
But they phrased it as killing their puppies and some objected. I wonder if there would have been any objections if they'd called it killing their bunnies.
My observation is that women really don't care if a man has a puppy or not but if he does, it had better be a strong puppy and only come out in times of true crises.
Bunnies, puppies, it makes no difference. There just metaphors, anyway, for vulnerability.
You can't kill the puppy. He's always there. He can hide, though. This is what men do when they want to look tough, like they can't be hurt. Nonsense. Everyone can get hurt. Showing vulnerability requires tremendous strength. Hiding your vulnerability, i.e., "killing your puppy", is appearing strong but acting weak. If you are willing to reveal your soft spots, to take a risk that your puppy could get kicked to the curb yet again, boy, that can take a lot of guts.
Pretending your puppy is dead is a lie. It might be a good defense mechanism in the wild jungle. Maybe it will help you get laid, I don't know. But I think it sucks if you expect to be able to rely on someone in a long term relationship. By hiding your vulnerability, you are either lying to your partner or yourself. If you are lying to your partner, well she can't trust that you are who you say you are. Worse yet, you are sending her the message that you don't trust her to take care of you when it's necessary.
With some women, you really can't trust them with your puppy. If you let that yappy little monster anywhere near her fancy high heels, she might very well give him the spike. Save the puppy, ditch the high-heeled woman.
Of course, if all you ever do is show your vulnerability, you just look like a victim, like you're not capable of taking care of yourself. But I think a knowing woman wants to see if a man can heal from his wounds and come back to embrace life again. Rather than pretending he doesn't have any wounds - after all, how does she know he won't just crumble when he gets hurt? Is he hard like a rock? Or just crispy, like a cookie?
Maybe I'll invent my own allegorical personality framework based on snack foods.
SM
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." Henry David Thoreau
Hiding your vulnerability, i.e., "killing your puppy", is appearing strong but acting weak.
I agree. You can't kill your feelings. You either deal with them or you don't. Stuffing them is a recipe for disaster.
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Maybe it will help you get laid, I don't know.
I'm sure it does. But getting laid and having a real R are two very different things. There's all sorts of vulnerability involved in R.
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But I think a knowing woman wants to see if a man can heal from his wounds and come back to embrace life again. Rather than pretending he doesn't have any wounds - after all, how does she know he won't just crumble when he gets hurt? Is he hard like a rock? Or just crispy, like a cookie?
That was great. I think that sums up how I feel about H right now. He is my rock yet totally vulnerable at the same time. Wolf and puppy combo. That's why we are having such hot sex (and a happier M) I think.
Personally, I find the dichotomy between vulnerability and strength sexy as well, and I find it true for both sexes. The best part of a long term relationship is that all of these emotional combinations come out, so you are always adjusting, changing and growing, while fantasy, seems, in comparison, staged and fixed.
Off topic ( kind of): This convo has reminded me of one of my favorite "vulnerable" songs by a male vocalist...Does anyone remember Everybody Hurts by REM?
Some women say they want to see puppy, OK may be to pet and mother, but when the puppy wants to play aggressive, watch out. Stay in puppy mode too long then the wolf loses his costume. In effect, the woman got to look behind the Wizzard of OZ curtain and then that is what she sees.
If the puppy is playing aggressive, it's not the puppy, it's the monkey. I do agree with what you are saying here about staying in puppy mode too long. However, it's really a matter of balance or showing dichotomy. Also, the thing to realize is that all these animals do exist authentically within you. When you are being strong wolf, you are showing the honest wolf part of your identity. If you are just putting on a wolf costume then you are being weak wolf, just acting macho and your act will easily be dissembled. However, sometimes putting on the costume can make it easier to bring out the true animal. When I say that I won't "play a man bunny" but I will "let him play me bunny", what I am really saying is that I won't put on a fake costume of soft femininity and bat my eyes to attract a man but I will let down my lioness or clever monkey guard enough that he can find/see/interact with the true bunny. OTOH, if I wanted to mate in true lioness mode, I could summon up the true part of my identity that would allow me to stare right back at a wolf staring at me. It's just easier to do when I'm in a bit of a "f*ck you'" mood and I'm wearing high-heeled boots and something bluesy is playing and it's round 'bout midnight and I've had a couple shots of tequila. The simple fact that I like something about that scenario is the proof that the lioness exists. The simple fact that I also really do like being told that I'm "pretty as a basket of speckled puppies" and holding hands is the proof that the bunny exists also.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Maybe I'll invent my own allegorical personality framework based on snack foods.
LOL- I shall look forward to discussions about whether the wolf is more like beef jerky or an overly crispy cookie. I agree with most everything you've posted here.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Well, FloppySocks guy is definitely taking the lead in the WhoWillBeMyNextLover Derby. He has been sweetly and consistently attentive to me and he signals good-humored matter-of-fact confidence in sexual matters. His male code message to me along the lines of Stigmata's "I'm a nice person but not a nice guy" was "I used to be an *zzhole but not any more". Which I interpret to mean "I'm a sexually experienced rat transitioning into vole mode". On the downside is the fact that he lives far away. I asked my sister's ex-boyfriend if a man expects you to have sex with him if he flies you in for the weekend and he said "Yes".
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
