My H has also said that we can always get remarried 10 yrs down the road.
If its' over for them...shouldnt they be able to say its for good?
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
RCR, I agree that if they are 25 it is probably more of a QLC.
Quote:
QLTers are just starting their adult lives. New college grads, new career...how far will they go, will they make it...all life is ahead of them and for some they may not be able to see how to achieve their goal which may be so many years away.
Thanks for clearing it up with what a QLC is. My H definetly is not QLC. He passed that stage long ago.
Quote:
One of the thigns said that is very much a Mid issue is a fear of death.
My H said at our last MC session that he thinks he is going to die by the age of 35. At the time I thought he was full of it, but my MC said "no, he truly believes that." So basically he wants to live his life "happy" with the few years he has left.
Kissak - you should read 'Silent Sons' I was recommended it several times before I read it, and boy did it help everything fall into place. I passed it to a friend whose h also had a grim childhood, and he said quietly - this is talking about me. He didn't have a MLC but has other issues . . .
Abuse doesn't have to be continual physical or sexual abuse. It can be insidiosu undermining, falure to unconditionally love your kids . . .
Yup!! H told me that his R with OW was not inappropriate because our marriage was over because he told me so before they started dating.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
These MLCers all say the same thing! My H said to me after he left "I am not cheating on you because I no longer consider us married." Well buddy, God still considers you married.
It's like they are trying to change facts. A fact is a fact.
They aren't trying to convince you as hard as they are trying to convince themselves.
They can push that guilt aside for now, as they must in order to party. They can not make it vanish any more than they have been able to vanquish their original demons. Later, it will haunt them long after you have left it behind.
My husband says the same thing, I don't get it. We were both there when we said those vows but because he felt it was over-it's not considered an affair? What a joke?
Me 36 H 35 S 13 & 10 M 15 yrs- 2gether 17yr Bombs 7/06, 6/07 ILYBNILWY 7/07 OW 7/07 Left 9/07
He told the kids that we were not longer married when he was cheating on me, even though a "piece of paper says we are married". "Paper does not matter"
What a moron.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
