D and I had a great trip. I was able to relax and have a lot of fun. We were looking forward to getting home though. Unfortunately I missed H as he has been doing so much for me lately. I was hoping he would be happy to see us when we got home lastnight. We walked in and H said hi and ran upstairs as he was on the cell. D said that was a warm welcome and left the room. When H came down on the phone I told him he needed to say hello to D. H said he did and I gave him a look. (I know, not good DBing.) D came out then and threw her arms around H. H then got off the phone.
I thought H would want to spend time w/ D today since she was gone for two days. H said he won't be around much as he has to catch up on work. Hmm, I believe he has stuff to catch up on, but I also know he spent time running errands during the day on Friday. I don't get that.
It's tough to witness when WAS doesn't go out of the way to show extra affection to the children.. mine had really pulled away from our D2 for a couple of months.. Although I guess now that he's moved out when he sees her he's making more of an effort.
It's tough to witness when WAS doesn't go out of the way to show extra affection to the children.. mine had really pulled away from our D2 for a couple of months.. Although I guess now that he's moved out when he sees her he's making more of an effort.
This was a competition for a synchro team that D is on and they placed 6 out of 8. They skated great though and were in a tough grouping. The 1st and 2nd place teams from two groupings at the last comp. were all in her grouping. Her team is also new to this division and younger than most.
I think H still has no clue how much this is having an effect on the Ds. They never talk to him about it at all and if I mention anything to him he acts like I'm being a B. I have told Ds many times they need to talk to him about this, that and the other thing but they won't. My C says I'm telling them the right thing and if we were in family C that is what would happen.
I fell apart yesterday. H didn't call all day. Took the Ds shopping as we needed to get a book for a project. Bought myself flowers again as a spirit lifter, but they didn't work too long. At 5:30 we still hadn't heard from H. Sunday is pizza night for us and H normally stops by. I asked the Ds if they wanted to go out and they said yes. A few minutes from our house I see H but he still doesn't call when he gets home. D10 started complaining about stuff on the way. I lost it and basically had a break down in the car. I told them I can't take it anymore and they need to start talking to their dad especially about things that he does that upsets them. I turned around and headed home because I knew I couldn't go out and pretend to be happy. I let the Ds out and told them their dad would need to take care of dinner. Then I drove to a park and broke down and called a mutual friend and let all out.
H could actually tell that D15 was upset and asked what was wrong. That is amazing since he is so self absorbed. She let him know they don't like him on the computer and phone when he is around. I don't know if they told him about my breakdown. I guess H tried calling while I was talking to the friend. Knowing him he was just calling to see what he should do about dinner. H never said a word to me about anything when I got home. I guess that might be uncomfortable. I felt horrible letting that all out on the Ds and I know they were worried about me. D10 said she thought I was going to kill myself. I told her I would never do that to them. (Like I would leave them to H.) We so desperately need family C but I know H won't do that as it would be uncomfortable for him.
Well let's add to the confusion. Today I get a text from H about his broken phone working again. H told D it wasn't working yesterday and that is why he didn't call. I guess it is the only phone in the world. Anyway he is supposed to get a new phone so I sent him a text to ask if it was the new phone. H said it was the old one and how it started working. H acknowledge my text w/ another and then it turned into an on going flirt session for half an hour back and forth w/ text. So I was yet again confused but feeling better about things.
D and I decided to order Chinese tonight on the way home from the rink. I sent H a text to let him know and tell him that we were ordering and there would be enough if he wanted some. H sent a msg. back and seemed really happy that I let him know. H stopped by over an hour later and ate. They bad thing is he was back on the computer.
Sunday after my meltdown I was ready to let H have it verbally. I'm glad I held my tongue. Monday was a much better day and he was texting me back and forth. Today H sent me a couple of messages also.
I decided not to remind him again to pick up D at the rink. H actually remembered today and called to check on the time of her lesson. H said he wouldn't be able to be there right away and seemed to feel sorry about that. I told him that was ok, get there when he could and I would wait until he got there. We chatted a little when he arrived and then I left. H did tell me to have fun as I was leaving. If he was sincere that is a big step for him.
I treated myself to dinner out and read the stages of MLC. Still trying to pinpoint where he is in all that. As I was leaving there D10 called from his phone so I didn't answer as I thought it was him. She was calling to ask where her lunch menu was. One of those you have to be kidding moments. I don't know if she asked H about it and he told her to call me or what. It is on the fridge where we have kept them for the last ten years.
So here I am at the library living it up. Still need to work on the GAL. After this I am going to live it up at the grocery store. I hope everyone reading this isn't jealous of my glamorous lifestyle.:)
Boy, your GAL sounds very familiar. Running errands, grocery shopping etc...woo hoo!!
Your H does sound very confused! But all the flirting sounds very positive! I think you have made progress in the right direction!!
Good job keeping your meltdown to yourself by going to the park. I am pretty bad about breaking down in front of H. He is less than sympathetic to them these days, but sometimes you just got to let it out.
Me: 30 H: 28 Separated: 06/01/07 D bomb: 07/17/07 after me pushing and pushing! #2 bomb: 08/13/07 Once again, I pushed!! #3 bomb: 01/08/08 Previous Thread http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1322680&page=0&fpart=1
I have been so busy the last couple of days I haven't updated on some interesting events. When I got home Tuesday after hanging out at the library and grocery I wasn't all warm and fuzzy. H had gotten a new phone and we had joked earlier about me sending him a pic. Well I sent him a couple of funny ones and it ended up turning into a serious flirting match. We were sending back and forth for an hour. That is a lot for us.
Yesterday morning we ended up having a little encounter when H stopped by to take D to school. Still no kisses or ILYs yet so that still concerns me. Yesterday he seemed a little distant when he stopped by in the evening. We ended up doing some more flirting via text before bed. We'll see what happens tonight. H isn't feeling good so I don't expect much. We had little contact today so I'm hoping for a positive to end the day.
Time for some changes. After a few days of text flirting H did not respond to my initiating it the last two nights. I'm done initiating that, back to not texting unless he texts me first. I have been good about not calling, so I'll keep that up.
Yesterday he came to the rink to she D10. I asked him his plans for today and asked about taking me shooting. H has talked before about taking me. That is one of his hobbies that I have never taken part in and I have been trying to show more interest. 180. H said the outdoor range is closed until March. I asked about an indoor and he said it is too crowded on the weekend. Don't know if that is his real reason for no or if he just doesn't want to take me. H left to take D15 to a game w/ her friend.
H shows back up to the rink much to my surprise. Mentions that the car maker he has is offer great rebates and extra to owner of that make. Wants to know if I want one. My car was just paid off last month. I tell H I don't want to have a big car payment and a house note if I'm alone. H doesn't bite the bait to let me know his intentions towards a D or the M and just says w/ money he will be getting from work we will be able to pay cash. H leaves it at that. I said we will see when the money comes through. I have decided that the next time H brings up a car I need to come out and ask him what his motive is.
I have decided that I need to find something new for me to do. A new hobby, something that H will be surprised to find out I am doing. Something physical would be the best.
I asked H last night his plans for today and the Ds. Said he will be here around lunch. Asked if he wants time alone w/ Ds and he said he would rather have that next weekend since he will be going out of town the end of the month. I told H I don't mind him being there while I am as long as he is comfortable w/ it. Why is it H can be here on my time but not me on his? I need to remember it is about the Ds and not me.
Now I have to worry about if the OW (CFB as Jenny would say) is going too.
I fell apart yesterday. H didn't call all day. Took the Ds shopping as we needed to get a book for a project. Bought myself flowers again as a spirit lifter, but they didn't work too long. At 5:30 we still hadn't heard from H. Sunday is pizza night for us and H normally stops by. I asked the Ds if they wanted to go out and they said yes. A few minutes from our house I see H but he still doesn't call when he gets home. D10 started complaining about stuff on the way. I lost it and basically had a break down in the car. I told them I can't take it anymore and they need to start talking to their dad especially about things that he does that upsets them. I turned around and headed home because I knew I couldn't go out and pretend to be happy. I let the Ds out and told them their dad would need to take care of dinner. Then I drove to a park and broke down and called a mutual friend and let all out. 