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(Corri) She is in doubt, or she never would have brought it here.

I think she's aware of whatever doubts she may have. I'd say it's perfectly natural to have doubts about *anybody* you've been corresponding with for a short time. I don't think there's something below the surface here with Mojo. She said she likes the guy and asked for opinions on something he wrote. It all seems very overt to me.


Notice the similarity between one of my posts and MoJo's. I didnt read her before i posted.

I don't know what posts you're referring to.

Whatever gave you the impression that I was talking about you? Hm. Good HD/LD point, I suppose. So I named you by name. BFD. So.

According to Mo, she's been talking to several men. She only posts about one man... who, by the way, is the one guy who can undermine her bunny.

I think that interesting. But. Hey. I'm the b!tch in the forest, the ruiner of good times. Let the wild rumpus begin.

You responded to, and quoted, my post. Not once, but twice. Then you made a long list of people that weren't afraid of you.

Not an unreasonable assumption, wouldn't you say?

What's BFD?

(Corri) But. Hey. I'm the b!tch in the forest, the ruiner of good times.

You give yourself too much credit. If KU ends up winning this damn game (and it looks very much like they will), you'll have helped provide my only good times for the entire evening.


Let the wild rumpus begin.

Definitely.

Never mind I looked it up. It wasn't intended to be a Big Deal. It was supposed to be a lighthearted comment about your determination to get your points across and your penchant for cryptic wisdom.
C'est tout. Not sure which nerve I stepped on but believe me it wasn't intentional.

And now, I'm out of here.

Burg:

In my Bigger Than Life, She Who Will Steal the Life Sucking Breath Out of You Beotec, You cannot go back and contradict me. Duh. That makes me human. Hello. I'm supposed to be the Evil Witch from the East... with almighty powers to shatter you with one... you know.. post... that doesn't... matter if I contradict myself.... hello... I'm ominipresent... remember... according to some BB rule half remembered, never lived kind of thing... sheet... you are stomping all over my mojo....

Where to begin. First off I should offer a disclaimer. No men on this BB should look to this post for advice relevant to their situation.

Okay, my biggest hindsight is 20/20 eye opener since my separation was that I came to a full realization that sex was really not the central problem in my relationship. One difference between my SSM and many others on this BB was that my 2bx and I rarely had awkward sex. It was almost always of at least the "hot monkey" variety. The problem was that I was married to my "f*ckbuddy" not my "lover". My monkey actually deserves some kind of freakin' gold medal for being able to keep a man showing up as a f*ckbuddy for almost 20 years with any kind of frequency (especially if you consider the post-baby bulge years, damn I'm good- lol). There were two semi-conscious reasons why I didn't insist that he be my "lover" rather than my "f*ckbuddy". One reason was that I felt that the fact that we were married should imply the "lover". He was the man I was "allowed" to be "in love with" and vice versa. I didn't understand why I should have to draw a boundary that I felt was implicit in our contract. The other reason was that I've always been a woman who teeters on the line between being the RGLM (peach or lovergirl) and the RGSM (playstation or slut with a heart of gold -lol). While my father was alive, it was easy for me to choose to be more "playstation", not because I was "desperate for affection and seeking it through sex" but because I was really quite non-desperate for affection because I could always get what I needed from dear old Dad. That is why the central crisis in my marriage was manifested in my 2bx's refusal to give me a hug after my father died.

Anyways, I fell out of my marriage all bedraggled bunny and spastic monkey and I was literally shocked to find myself in a world of men who wanted to be my lover. But, like SG once posted, it wasn't really the case that my bunny was weak (Daddy loved me), she was just a bit beat-up because I spent nearly 20 years in a relationship which involved a conspiracy that rendered her invisible. So, back to the subject at hand. I don't date men who manifest as pure wolf. For instance, an older version of BF and I wouldn't mate in the wild. My bunny is definitely strong enough at this point to deal with a guy who "won't cuddle after sex" but she chooses not to for the simple reason that she doesn't have to. There are plenty of men who like to f*ck and "cuddle" too. Lots of former wolfs who have mellowed with age and lots of former puppy dogs who've learned how to growl etc. etc. So when I date I "insist" that a man treat me as well as "dear old Dad" while I am in his company and I "insist" that he offers me the level of "wolfishness" that makes me comfortable following him into sexual alleys and the way I do the work of "insisting" is by manifesting as strong bunny and monkey. I have to do this work because stupid boys won't just treat me well no matter what like dear old Dad. However, what I do not do is send out the lioness to protect the bunny. I do not tie "commitment" to "trust". I insist that a man treats me well and offers me his protection while I am in his company but it's up to him to ask me to commit and my decision will not be based on those factors alone. That is why I say that my current dating "intent" is that I want a "lover" but I was mostly just kidding when I said that I might have actually run off to Gretna Green with my Hazard playing lover GP. My lioness is broke*ss but not quite comatose. She wakes up and swats the children as needed.

wow, that's creepy. My friend said the exact same thing and it was the turnnig point in her M too. Her H was definitely a f@ckbuddy type, not a lover. They are in the process of D.
So she is in search of the sex-love connection. There's really nothing better.

LFL

I should make it clear that I don't think people are any particular "type". I think everyone has the whole animal group but sometimes it's just hard to integrate the zoo or manifest one particular but important animal in relation to somebody else. I think it is entirely possible that my 2bx could grow/change and/or meet a woman who would make it easier for him to manifest as St. Bernard. I was part of the problem but it remains true that I can't possibly fix his half.