I think Corri was talking about telling stories, fantasy type stories, during sex, rather than the more direct talking given as examples. For instance, if Mr.LFL truly gets turned on by thinking about LFL being with another man sexually, he might really get into it if, during sex, LFL erotically and breathily described a fantasy sexual encounter between herself and some safely unavailable man. Brad Pitt, or whomever.
Pay attention Burg. It's Jake all the way, not Brad. And as for telling him a story in bed....maybe...I don't know. Come to think of it, I bet he'd get sort of angry (which is what I want) and be willing to "take me in hand" if he got jealous in the moment. hmmm...need to process this more..
It may just be that he thinks they're on the same footing now. He screwed up by leaving, now she screwed up, with regards to their marriage. Kind of like a two fallible humans together thing. Much more f*ckable than a Madonna on a pedestal who was magnanimous enough to forgive his sins.
I still think it's more than that SG. He has said "now we are even" in regards to other crap I've pulled. It's never been a response like this until now. He is way more sexual than I've ever seen him. Me likes!
Maybe I am square, as they used to say in the 60's, but I rather think it would be more productive to think about the hot times both LFL's had with each other, than to be thinking about a third party.
Sorry Lou. Ideally, yes. But realistically, that has never and will never work for us. I think I've hit on somthing big here and I need to run with it a while. I'm not about to go back to passionless sex once every 2 months when I've had my H f@ck me like I've wanted to be f@cked for so long. Do what works right? No, I think the third party fantasy, or whatever this is, is doing the trick.
I think Corri was talking about telling stories, fantasy type stories, during sex, rather than the more direct talking given as examples.
Yes, exactly.
Quote:
Do what works right? No, I think the third party fantasy, or whatever this is, is doing the trick.
LFL:
Yes... and my point is... that THIS may only work for so long, but that doesn't mean that something else wouldn't be just as effective, if you stay willing to explore and try things that may turn your H on, and NOT return to the mind set that he needs to give you sex in the way you like it. Meaning, HE becomes YOUR focus, and in finding/providing what really turns him on, you actually GET what you want.
ETA: Now... compare this to Lou's current mind set... what is he passing up potentially exploring with BB simply because he doesn't want to step out of the way he views himself (older generation, squarish, simple man).
I'm diggin' the whole "you're mine" possessive vibe going on with your H. This is so politically incorrect that I just have to share this story about yesterday. Actually, I think I'll just start a new thread. It is here.
Lou I rather think it would be more productive to think about the hot times both LFL's had with each other, than to be thinking about a third party.
LFL Sorry Lou. Ideally, yes. But realistically, that has never and will never work for us.
I'm not about to go back to passionless sex once every 2 months Are you saying you two never had hot times when dating or first M?
I didn't want you to replay the sex once every two months tapes, that sucks, big time.
For me, thinking about the sex we had right before BB got PG with kid #2, works better than thinking of some popular woman. In my mind, who would want to F Paris or Jolien, or who ever. I don’t want to mentally share a woman with anyone else and I don’t want to mentally stir someone else’s vanilla.
I think of what I have my dick in at the moment, how the sex used to be hot, what is happening right now, what is working for me, and read the clues BB gives off. Maybe I don’t multi task well and thinking about OP takes away from what is at the moment.
Of course, thinking about the posters that have gone years w/o sex gets me thinking I don’t want that to happen to me or BB. All of that unused nookie, bad, bad, bad. Is that an example of a third party? I say it is an example of “ I don’t what that to happen to me” or an example of vicarious learning.
Anyway it is great to hear about all of the hot action LFL. If the fantasy works, good deal.
Corri he doesn't want to step out of the way he views himself (older generation, squarish, simple man). Simple i will agree with.
Older generation, yes in age and some values. Maybe i expect similar values from BB. Doesn't say she has to feel the same way.
Squarish, OK but also everyone knew where things stood.
I was not aware LFL has been playing 2 men and sabotaging her R via regularly interacting with OM. Judging from NOPkins and blackfoot's, among others, previous "you're a keeper, LFL" comments after her posts showing a real respect, love, and patience through frustration ... I wasn't the only one apparently.
Its been obvious for a couple of months Stig. I shook my head- from sadness, when SG tried to tell me this wasnt about attraction and respect.
Nop addressed it in multiple posts, when she hinted at it in her thread here. Many Moons Which is the same thread she disavowed responsibility for her actions.
If thats the truth, then at least she has stated that. Her actions back it up. Her H should believe her.
I couldnt find it, but what I remember was Nop saying her H was a keeper Stig.
Well, in my defense BF, I was not talking to this guy at that point and was Really trying to improve the attraction/respect for H. It just wasn't happening. And yes, Nop did say I was a keeper. I remember that specifically because I was surprised he said it and it meant a lot to me. My H thinks I'm a keeper too, which of course means more than anyone else's opinion. And frankly, the only reason we have gotten to this point in our M is specifically because of my actions, whether right or wrong. So if you are trying to make me feel guilty or "put me in my place" by dredging up old threads, ok...fine...I can take it...I welcome it. Because I respect you BF. I may not agree with you at times, but I know you mean well. You're a goofball, but a likable goofball.
Oh, not to rub it in or anything...but I spoke to H today and he said "You better be prepared for me when I get home." And he didn't mean fixin his dinner.
(LFL) Pay attention Burg. It's Jake all the way, not Brad.
The gay cowboy? You're a weird girl.
And as for telling him a story in bed....maybe...I don't know.
Lots of ways to play it. Doesn't have to be about a real person, could be about turning a gay cowboy straight. Or something that happened in a book you read. Or a reaction you inspired in the kid who rang up your groceries. And so on, infinitum.
I bet he'd get sort of angry (which is what I want)
If it works, the positive for him is that he can be "fantasy angry," which feels much safer than actually being angry.
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go
It's never been a response like this until now. 
