Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? Do they REALLY know what they want?

Bravo! You've done really well! No matter what she says to the kids, you will continue to tell them how much you love them and want to be with them. They'll believe you. Trust me. She's trying to use the kids to get you to continue to let her have her cake and eat it to. Sorry, lady. Doesn't work like that!

I know about the "harmless" phone calls. We have "harmless" phone calls on our cell phone bill too. 90min calls at 2am, text messages, etc... All excused by my husband as "she's just a friend." OK.

Thank you All.
I will try to remember to - Mean what I say, and say what I mean, Just not be mean when I say it.

this is a total 180* for me. Stopping any and all attempts to "fix" this. I am jumping off the see-saw.
I just need to really stick to it now.

I am seeing the kids here and there for a few minutes and talking on the phone with them a few times during the day.

Mike, do work out a visitation schedule with W asap. The kids need that knowledge that on such and such a day they will see Dad, they do get anxious wondering when the next visit or next phone call will be. As far as lawyers, my W got really pissed off when my lawyer put everything, and I mean everything, down in writing e.g. Mrs. Whatis will return the children at 11:00 am on Sunday morning etc, she said it was adversarial! Now, the reality is that we do whatever we want despite the SA but it is because we've agreed to do it differently. Please do go to a lawyer and find out your rights and responsibilities, you can bet your ass she will!
Take care of yourself Mike, I know these 180's are so hard, you just want to rush back over and start helping again...I understand that only too well.
Just to add: you can talk to your lawyer about getting an access and custody clause signed off prior to any formal agreement being signed. A visitation schedule worked out now between you and W will also show that you are NOT abandoning your family.