hey glad to hear how well you've handled everything. I'm sure it must be tough to all the sudden be excluded out of H's family. But you know what, the way YOUR handling it, compared to the way his family is, will be proving a HUGE point. Continue to show love to them in the way you have, and they will end up looking like the fools. And although what is going on is pretty messed up, we cannot judge them. we have no idea what is going on in their minds, what H might have said to them in the past, or whatever. maybe something was said that made them feel hurt for some reason, I don't see what, but you just never know.
I remember saying to someone that it is the victim who really chooses the level of hurt that has been caused. you know, something you might think is trivial, might be devastating to someone else.
I wonder if H did gave them the gifts, and if he did, I wonder if they felt guilty about it. I kinda hope so.
well, haven't been able to get on here much.. still out of town visiting fam.
hope you have a great time for the rest of the holidays.
oh, I didn't remember you have a step bro too! Glad you were able to divert your dad a bit.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Hope you're having a good few days following Christmas. I've been following, and it sounds like you're doing alright with the weirdness. Remember to focus on what you DO want, rather than what you're trying to ignore. You're a GREAT gal and deserve nothing less than what you want in your life. Enjoy your weekend!!!
(((((Nik)))))
Love, f21
Me: 37 M: 14 yrs Separated 10/06; Filed for D 12/07 Life is good.
Haven't had a lot to journal, just catching up with work and post-Christmas cleanup, but wanted to reply.
jak Thank you!! Wishing you (and everyone) a wonderful 2008, as well. It's time we ALL had a wonderful year.
ediemarie You aren't kidding on the in law sitch. I did somewhat "crack" a few weeks ago and he wouldn't really tell me anything, just that it was "his fault" and that his mom was mad at him (the impression I got was for not D'ing me yet, but who knows). Agreed, good time to give him plenty of space.
Dave You're sooo right on the two different personality thing. I didn't see it that much last time around (saw more of the "done" personality and less of the "NTG" one), but it seems to be happening a lot, lately. I just try not to get too caught up in it all. Thanks for your thoughts!
ST Hey thanks for checking in even on vacation!! I appreciate it. Yeah, I have no idea what's really going on. It's even possible it has nothing to do with our sitch (unlikely, but possible). It may be that they somehow got wind of my attitude about SIL's recent D. The more I look back the more I feel like she went through with the M in hopes of making $$ off of his fairly wealthy family... and while I haven't said anything, I also don't buy into the whole pity party that she "deserved" more $$ or was somehow ripped off.
Supposedly he gave them the gifts and they said they liked them... no "thank you" but they liked them.
Interesting thought on the level of hurt, I kinda feel that's where I am right now.
f21 Thank you! Good point to focus on what I want, I need to do more of that. You're such a sweetie!!
(((f21)))
Hope you have a great weekend as well!
------------- I'm finally painting my room tomorrow and/or Sunday (depending on how long it takes). May go out with a friend Sat. night or may just kick back at home. H is going night skiing (with two male friends who I know), so I'll have the house to myself if I want.
I found myself searching online today for condos/houses in my price range if we D'd. I don't know why I do this every so often, but I do. I usually find some condos but rarely houses - and I'd really prefer a house (love having pets, so I want the yard!). Today I found two developments that are building a handful of small single family homes that would be in my price range... they were very cute!! Small, but well designed and looked nice.
Not ready to DO anything but it somehow makes me feel better to do this sometimes. Funny, the last time I saw the MC (solo) she told me she thought I'd "fantasize" about my future more and more, and ultimately be the one to take real action.
That said.. like you mentioned f21 I need to get the focus back on what I DO want. I'm still sorting through what exactly that is, but it sure isn't all the stuff I'm trying to ignore right now.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Hey, Nikki-- You sound so good; I'm glad that Christmas went so well for you. Keep on that path, making your choices, actions and convos about what you want. Someone in your R has to have some focus ;0) might as well be you. You have to let me know how the painting goes....I have to strip wallpaper off my dining room before I paint in there, and I'm not looking forward to it! I'll be happy if I just get things straightened up this weekend.
I'll make sure to offer up a toast to you and yours this New Year's, as well as all our friends here!
Wishing all of us the wonderful 2008 that we deserve, and can MAKE happen!!
More soon, but wanted to at least get my wishes out there.
Hugs and kisses to all!!
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
