Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis I'm a newbie-H is MLC-Lovely!!!

No. You do not confront about the birthday. You tell him that you depended on him as he said he would watch the children and that it is up to him to make alternate arrangements. This is business.

And confrontation like that never work.

IMP

Well, I talked to one girlfriend who said "I'd confront him or at the very least let him go and have him followed so you have something for the lawyer when you need it". Then I called my sister who suggested a different approach.
She said if you just want to mess with him and try to ruin his night with her then don't call him. But he told you that he would take the kids while you are working since he was on vacation so tell him that they are his responsibility for that day-whether HE has to get a babysitter or whatever. They are his kids too and you had already planned on him taking them.

So...I calmly called him-he was pleasant and funny on the phone. We were teasing each other about how we haven't finished our Christmas wrapping yet and other things. Then I said that I got his message and we have a problem-I planned on him taking the kids-what are you doing on Sunday that you can't take the kids. "I've just got other plans thats all" I couldn't resist and I said "Oh, I get it" He said"No you don't" I said,"yeah I do-but whatever. If you're not going out of town,can you be here before I go to work on Monday morning?" (said as sweetly as possible) and he said, "sure, I can do that." And then I asked to speak to the kids and afterward, they said he wanted to speak with me again. Funny chit-chat and then,"I keep forgetting to tell you that I think we need to look into a different car insurance carrier because the one we have now is really expensive."

He's going out on "dates" and still planning on our joint insurance company. This MLC crap is too much to figure out!!

Exactly. And that is why all the time spent trying to do so is fruitless and actually detrimental to outcome that people seek when they come to this baord. DB tells us to stay away from their drama.

Imp-thanks for your thoughts.
Have a great Christmas!

Merry Christmas, MrsLBW

IMP - You have such wonderful advice! Thank you so much. Until I read this thread I was considering calling the OW and telling her to back off and not talk to him and let him figure things out on his own. I now think that would just be detrimental after reading all the advice you and everyone else have given Mrs. LBW.

Have a very Merry Christmas!

Thank you for your kind words, mishka.

Merry Christmas to you and yours.

(And where is the Alistair Sim's version of A Christmas Carol!!)

Hmmm....good question about the Alistair Sim's version. That is my favorite and they never show it anymore.

Hello MrsLBW,

In reference to your H's insurance comment:

Mine asked me recently about refinancing our mortgage. She looked shocked when I responded, "Why would I do that when you just filed for divorce?"

I told her earlier in her mlc to grab both her knees and pull her head out of her past. She obviously hasn't been able to do that.

Good Morning all and Merry Christmas.
I was hoping for a great day and of course i was hoping of course for him to come to his senses-like a Christmas miracle. We all hope for that, don't we.

This week i looked at his Visa bill and saw a charge to Victorias Secret. He used to buy things for me there every year. Well, I didn't get anything this year. I guess I know who did.

We had a nice time at his sisters last night. I love his family and they all hugged me as we left last night and each one whispered that they loved me in my ear. They are all thinking what a fool he is and they aren't able to get him to talk to them either.

When we got back here we were up until 2am setting up the new computer for the kids. When it was time to go to bed I asked him if he wanted to come upstairs to our bed he said "No, and I'm not going to debate it."

He has been cool all day. He bought me a bunch of presents-nothing exciting. I bought him about 4 things-but his big present was one of those digital frames that I put pictures on set to music. Mostly pictures of the kids and dog, but also pictures of us together and family vacations. He got tears in his eyes initially and said he really liked it.

No hugs, no kisses, just civility.

I don't think I can live like this anymore. I think after the new year I am going to tell him to get a lawyer. I need to live my live and I don't want to be alone anymore. Someone keeps asking me out and I have said no up to now because I have wanted to keep my marriage and family together. I made a vow. But I don't think i can do this anymore. My first choice has always been him but after today I think I have turned a page....It's so freaking sad! I'm in tears right now. My poor brother just called and I unloaded on him. I will see my whole family this afternoon-luckily I won't have to deal with H for the rest of the day.

Hope everyone elses Christmas is better than mine.