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dh,

Good work, your getting that civility back in return.

How was the party?

Party was a blast,

Good food drinks women i was flirting and getting flirted with fealt good, did have a beautiful woman give me my new years kiss, it was a little weird kissing another woman after kissing the same woman for 5 years, but if fealt good anyway. My C told me not to date, not even to talk to other women, well i dont agree. He says out of respect for my W and our marriage, but W is with OM so why should i respect her when obviously she doesnt respect me right now. I told my C i am human and it feels good to have interaction with women, im not running to the alter i am having fun and living my life. And she doesnt even go to C anymore even after i offered to pay for it and she said she needed it, so obvioulsy she is not willing to work on her issues so i will keep going to IC for me and let my W continue in her downward spiral...

bump

dh,

I agree with your C that I wouldn't date at this point. But are you dating? or just hanging out with this person? There is a difference. But those are really only questions you can answer. Maybe you feel fine with it, maybe it will bring W back from the alien spacecraft.

Sounds like you've had a good couple days. that's great!

Glad to hear that things are civil again. She probably realized that you aren't going to respond to her that way, so she better try another approach.

Let me know how the nanny thing goes. I hope that works out well for you.

To date or not to date: seems like so many here are dealing with that right now. I think the key is the goal behind it. You are looking to go out and have fun. If that fun just happens to be with a pretty girl, then so be it. I think your C is probably worried about you getting into a reboud R. Lots of people do that, it all starts out as having fun and then turns into a lot more really fast... Just keep having fun.

THanks Anne,

Ya that is my approach i am having fun, i am not going to jump into an R right away, but i am a whats good for the goose is good for the gander kinda thinker, I am fulfilling something missing in my life which is what the W is doing as well, i dont think of it as being unfaithful to the W, if i didnt enjoy myself i am not being true to myself.

Hey Atlas,

didnt see your response til now, ya i think of it as hanging out not dating. I dont think it will wake up the W, she stated when we split she could handle me hanging out withe other women, do i completely believe it no, she was the jealous type at the beginning of our R but i think she feels she is the hottest thing now since we split and wont concern herself with who i hang out with, i think she will be more jealous of other girls being around our kids, but i wont let that happen too often.

dh,

Of course she is jeolous, of you and OW being around her kids. What she really said, when she said I can handle you hanging out with other women is "I'm seeing someone, and I feel horribly guilty about having an affair, so to ease my mind I guess it is alright if you see people too, but I won't like it."

never looked at it that way Atlas, you are probably right but honestly i think this break whether is temporary or permanent was needed we were at each others throats prior to the bomb which is why im not that upset not having to deal with the negatives i had to deal with at home when we were together.

Not much new to report,

W's aunt called me tonight to check on me and the kiddos. She said she hasnt talked with the W since christmas day and the W asked her not to talk to me anymore. The aunt told her she makes her own decisions and if she wants to talk to methen she will. W also told aunt that if she wants to see her she needs to help her book a show for OM in the city that Aunt lives in. Aunt asked her what kind of music OM plays and W couldnt really tell her. W played some music in the background for the Aunt and the Aunt responded with i wouldn't go listen to that. HEHE the wedding singer fails again. Aunt cannot believe what theW sees in OM she says its a fantasy and a new thing that will become old. But when is it too late. I am surprised i have moved along as far as i have, do i think about W, sure we were together 5 years but what has happened and the disregard she has had towards our kids and family help me build a wall against her. I know its not DB practice to do this but this my way of DB. I need to do this for myself and my children,Aunt even said she did not think W is cut out to be a mother, like i said a month ago Aunt would testify against W in regards to her being a mother, this comes from a woman who told me she has unconditional love for her niece but at the saome time do i really want this woman back to care for my children?? sure the A hurts but i look beyond the A and think about my kids. To know that maybe my W is not ready to take care of my kids is a big concern, i am to the point where i am scared to think about her being with the kids for a period of time without me. that is a wake up call for me.... I think its bed time had to journal hope everyone here has a peaceful night...