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I'd still get the L's advice. I could be way off base, but you are still married and that's still considered yours too. I just met with an L today. I know we're in different states, but she talked about if things get nasty and H wants me to pay for part of debt he wracked up, we could get nasty and get statements proving that what he spent was NOT used on the M. I would imagine that you could prove that the 17K he cashed out was NOT used for you and you'd be entitled to part of it back. Again, I could be off base, but I'd definately talk to your L soon!

Sue

I will call him Monday, my L. From what it looks like, he sold the stocks and they will be put into the "core" account on Jan 2. I'm not sure what he is going to do with them then. Our little boy's birthday is Jan 2 (he'll be 2). During our dinner last night H seemed real interested in figuring out if he could come over Jan 2 for son's birthday. He seemed to really want to get in the house. Then I wondered if he's waiting for the mail or something to intercept. He's not trustworthy at all and I don't want him in the house. He also said he took Jan 2 off from work to take "a rest" from working. He's up to something. Last time he took off a day like that he had a visit with his L.

yo yo wife : Does that mean he's entitled to half of mine???? Mine's really big. He doesn't deserve to touch it after deserting us and having an affair and spending all our money on her.

Sounds like you have things more under control in your head than you may feel. I have the same feeling about my H right now. I don't trust him. Funny thing...He keeps talking about taking a day off of work too. He's not one to do that.

Again Jen, I am sorry you have to be here, but you picked one hell of a group of people. They are WONDERFUL.

Sue

Unfortunately in my state it does. So be sure to talk to your attorney about this.

And you are absolutely right about him not deserving it!

Jen- That's the bad thing. He might be entitled to 1/2 of yours too. In MN they don't take infidelity into account for a divorce. Makes me mad. The L said most people say...you take your debt/assets, I'll take mine. However, when things get nasty, some do demand 1/2. Bad thing for me. His debt is bigger, my retirement is bigger. I'd get the short end of the stick!

Sue

Hi Jen. I am so sorry about your situation.

My retirement is huge. I have dumped as much in it as possible since starting to work right out of college. I have no idea if my H would try and take half, but they sure make you wonder.....

Keep your head up and yay to your son's 2nd birthday! I love that age.

You on to a second yet, lwb??

Jen...You're free to join us on lwb's thread for a nice cold drink. With or without alcohol....your choice.

Sue

Just getting one.......lol.......that's it for me though. I am parenting tonight....

Wow. It's amazing that I worked 15 yrs, saved a nice TSP, quit my career 2.5 yrs ago to be stay at home mom, and now he deserts us and might take half the money I busted my butt making. And he'll spend it on her. There's got to be karma. Please let there be karma.