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So sorry Olive... I know exactly how you feel. Continue to detach, it gets easier. If you think it would be best, separate from him, then it will be much easier to not see all of his immoral behavior.

I remember when my W first left me, it was hard. After a month or two, I really started letting go as I didnt have to see her or be reminded of all the crap she was doing.

You're absolutely right, you do deserve better.

Yes, he cannot love and care for both persons at the same time. Since he chooses OW, he has the responsbility to her to love her only. He also has the responsibility to you not to tie you down. Good for you to moving on emotionally.
I am not saying he won't come back. But for now, he needs to realize that he cannot have both. I have a feeling he still feels guilty towards OW (mixed with "love"), and he thinks the more "right" way is to D you and move on. He will soon realize (hopefully before it's too late) that he cannot live without you. My H went through that, I think.
Take care of yourself. Have a great New Year.

Exactly my point to H! By filing for D, he is asking me to walk away and that's exactly what I'm doing.

Like the song says....These boots are made for walking.......even if covered with Iowa cow poo.

Best quote of the day: "This D will allow you to get balance back in your life. I think it will be really good for you"

WTH??!!

Olive,
Sorry to hear your H is still saying crazy things....we've all heard some of the craziest things. Remember you aren't alone. Everyone on here is dealing with these crazy spouses who have been abducted by aliens and continue to say the most outrageous things. I really think the best thing for you is to detach, detach, detach. Your H is selfish and he is going to continue to do and say what he wants to make himself feel better. Take care of yourself and try to take anything he says and let it go in one ear and out the other.

Thanks Hope.. I almost laughed out loud at that one. I guess it really does make him feel better about what he's doing but how can he really believe that D will make me happier?!

I am doing much better at detaching. I just agree or don't say anything at all when the craziness comes out.

Good news.. I will get full custody of our dogs I'm sure ow does not want two big dogs coming to live, shed, and poop in her perfect little world.

ha, like when did your H become so philosophical!! :-)

Yeah, OW just wants your H for that. (Let her clean up after him, then!)

An observation: The more agreeable I am - about the D and whatever else- the more H seems to get irritated with me and wants to pick fights. Hmmm...