Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums THE SEX-STARVED MARRIAGE Relational Equality vs, Relational Equivalency

Oh no. Totally cede the point. I'm not saying stay with your h, even. Life is too short to be miserable, if you realistically decide it would make you miserable. This isn't about your m, it's about this fantasy in your head that life with Soldier guy would be that idyllic "complete package" scenario.

Fact is, he didn't say "stay". Big, fat red minus in SGs little book. And if you've never done the stepparenting gig, it's very rewarding but needs a level of compromise, flexibility, love and devotion that requires a very loud and heartfelt "stay" to not implode in the start box.

Whatever you do, if you look everything realistically and make an informed choice I'll be as happy as an imaginary friend in the computer can be. Now, I'm out of here. Hope everyone has a good time tonight.

Stig It's solid psychology, based on ego. And not the way one would think. Asking your SO for favors, no matter how small, boosts their own ego in that they feel closer connected to you due to the fact that they feel their acts are much appreciated by you. Makes em feel all warm inside (the rotten egocentric bastards).

I agree if it is something she wants/likes to do. OTH if it is something she doesn't like doing, then I am just another A-hole that wants to be served.

Sorry for the two extreems but, I do need to ask for more in a confident manner.

Never got much from other people, Almost always did the AOS thing to feel like I fit in. Yup, we create our own problems sometimes and also have answers.

In the last 3 years, I have gotten better at asking and a "NO" I don't take as personal as I used to.

Merry Christmas, Mr writer/Stig

Lou

Well, then I think I proved your point. BF is probably most like scenario number three and the outcome would be inevitable. But that's what he wants, he says, so...
As for you, I agree, puppy with a cardigan...yuck. It's cute when your 18...not so much pushing 40. sigh
I think I actually liked the puppy in the cardigan back then. Little did I know the lack of wolf was going to be a problem. With age comes wisdom and insight I guess.

LFL

Thanks Lou. I think I am a mixture of bunny and pirate, lol.

LFL

Thanks SG. I am fully aware I am not being realistic right now. This whole thing is surreal.
I honestly don't know what it going to happen. But at this point, I'm at some level of peace regarding my confusion..if that makes sense.
I know if I said in my mind, "I'm staying with H no matter what and no matter how miserable I am" I start to literally feel like throwing up. Not good. Clearly something is wrong with that scenario. What I don't know is if I keep this fantasy alive in my head just to keep myself partly sane, partly alive.
And the step-parent thing really freaks me out. The guy has three kids of his own. But that is not part of my fantasy world SG! Thanks for spoiling it.
But that's what "imaginary friends" are for, right?

LFL

Yes. I'd say it is our imaginary mission in life.

You'll be all right, LFL. Just don't camp out permanently in the bus stop, kay?

Lol
I hear ya.
And seriously, it just makes me so sad to think of things never changing between H and I. It hurts to even think about.
I'm sure that's why I am fantasizing/romantacizing the situation with the soldier. What the heck is it? Does it mean anything? Is any of this real?
I know the F-ed up enviroment he is in right now is sure real for him. And I know what I'm dealing with in this M is real for me. But what is this thing between us? Just a distraction? Maybe.
All I know is that we have to figure out our own sh*t first.
But then I think, what is there to figure out?
Maybe it's just going to be up to fate. That's how disconnected I feel at this point in terms of my M, my life. But really not in a depressed way, just an "I surrender" way.
So, yes, I still sit here at the bus stop.
I still sit here with my H and think "is this it?".
I still wait and see...is soldier guy going to come home in a body bag? Just from what little I know, there is a good chance he could.
It's all so crazy and completely true at the same time.
I cannot control anything in my life it seems. And I don't want to anymore. I'm fine just letting fate direct the voyage.
I truly hope 2008 brings some goddammm answers though.

LFL

When is the last time you spoke to him?



Fate may bring different buses to the bus stop but you'll still have to decide whether to get on. Or off, for that matter.

Blackfoot has an interesting style, as do you, but also one that's quite difficult to read (as do you). I can't read either of your posts in a hurry, because they tend to blur. So anything really long I skip until I actually have some time on my hands, which is not often, and then I try to decipher.

Moowahahaha, the plan is working, BF. Disorient the opponent with ofuscation.

Excuses, excuses. You pointy head science types always have time on your hands. Comes from all those hours spent in labs on Friday nights preparing for Monday's 3-hr lab practical.

Howse that pea garden growing? Hm, must be in your basement with grow lights due to the season.

Want to know what the genotype/phenotypes looked like from the days of my R?:

OOMM

versus:


mmee

Listening isn't the issue, because I have to listen quite closely if I want to make sense out of what you're saying. But I still don't agree with you. *g*


Tsk tsk. Will have to make my voice more usical/melodic to register in your characteristically tonal-oriented F linguistic processes.

Don't worry, Belle, we'll fix you of that pesky don't agree nonsense talk soon enough.

-Stigmata-

]Stig,

Hey there from a cranky, sex starved, 40 year old Mama. Mmmmm mmm dontcha just wanna do me?

LOL

No. I don't do grouchy MILFs. If I do, Next thing I know one of the young female brood is showing me her exhaustive collection of Hello Kitty paraphernalia while I find myself spooning some jarred mish-mash into the greedy maw of a little John Bonham-wannabe violent spoon-to-tray whacking male infant...

...while said MILF can be hear pealing out of the driveway:

"Free at last! Free at last! Thank Gawwwd allmighty, I'm free at last!"

WTH? How the H did I get here? ("YOU'RE not my DADDY," now heard in the background)

(Stigmata puts head in hands) Stupidstupidstupid...

ack to you, Karen.

Now, now. The above is no kind of attitude from an attractive F who looks like she just stepped out of a bathtub full of rainbows, as our young college boy proclaimed not very long ago.

I'm sure the newest one has only enhanced your looks. (pinch to lil guy's cheek)

I know you were being facetious but I appreciate the gallows humor, even if it comes from a painful place.

I think H might be caught in that holiday depression from all of his friend/family tragedies that undoubtedly bubble up around family holidays. Maybe will pop over to your thread at some point to see what's up. Saw the latest and it's healthy to vent so vent away, mama.

-Stigmata-