Saffie, The dishes have not come back yet!! I should get them sometime next week, however. I did get a couple of things like a really nice frying pan, a good cutting board, and an excellent chef's knife back though.
H says I just took him back for him cookware
I've got my pole, but still need to find some classes to learn how to use the darn thing properly.
BFM
There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. David Burns, Intimate Connections
Phew....... I am glad you got your priorities right. I also wanted to tease the guys over here with the talk of poles - we are a feisty lot in infidelity..........
I am pleased to see you over in piecing. How are things going at home?
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
It's early yet (H has only been home around 3 weeks officially), but we joined a church last Sunday that we both absolutely LOVE and we've gotten involved in a "Marriage Matters" class through them. There are a lot of couples in the class that are working on much of the same sort of stuff that we are (not necessarily affairs, but other general marriage problems) and it's good to have a support group with similar goals.
We are taking a short trip, just the 2 of us, from Dec. 27-Jan. 1 to visit some friends of ours.
That should be fun.
We are talking and being open and sharing things with each other. Already starting to work together as a team again.
He will be fully DONE with any connection with OW by Jan. He is still going to pay half rent for Jan. as they agreed on that when they broke up. At the time he wasn't sure how long he was staying there before moving back home, but the move home was quicker than we had thought it would be.
We just felt it was better for him to be home rather than sharing an apartment with her. Too much room for temptation and he was so ready to be done with her that he just wanted out.
Luckily so far she's not been the clingy type and says that she is done with him as well and seems to have pretty well moved on with her life (thank goodness!)
They are pretty much NC except for the occasional email concerning bills they still share or for her to tell him when she's going out of town so he can use those opportunities to move the rest of his stuff out of the apartment. He lets me see all those. They are very rare. I think there have been 2 email exchanges in the 3 weeks he has been home.
All in all things are good right now. I still feel at times like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, but I feel less of that everyday. I have no illusions that this will be a road of all cupcakes and roses, but I do have hopes that it won't be as hard as some have had. (one can always hope, can't one???).
OK - I'm setting out the chocolate (the good Ghiardelli stuff). Don't push and be polite and save some for the next person.
BFM
There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. David Burns, Intimate Connections
I am so glad. My H and I spent a few weekends away together without the children after reconciling and we also have a date night once a week and make sure we meet for lunch at least once a month. The A showed me the importance of being a couple as well as a family - our M was so child centred I had forgotten about H as a person. It continues to get easier as the children get older.
I would be lying if I didn't say the memories and hurt come back and bite me from time to time but they are getting more bearable.
Have a wonderful Christmas
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Hey BFM, I was in MLC for over a year and moved over here a few months ago. If you truely are piecing, which it sounds like you are, this is a good place to be. The support here has helped me tremedously. Piecing is another part of the journey that is just as hard as the separated and A part of the journey. The folks here have a lot of insights into the whole reconciliation process, just as the folks on MLC has such great insights on the whole MLC process.
Welcome.
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
Saffie's right. It's important to make time to be a couple together. We got so busy going in different directions, him focused on his career, and me driving the kids to soccer and ballet, that we had little to say to each other except scheduling details. It's so important to spend time together and keep enjoying things together.
No drinks! What are you all talking about? Chocolate Martinis right this way!!!
Patrick, you shouldn't have done the moving. Sadly, you may have to just go into debt. But before you go there look at how you may be able to protect yourself financially. Maybe take her off your accounts and tell her she'll need to start taking care of some of the bills because you cannot afford two places. If she threatens to divorce you let her do it. Right now it sounds like she's just trying to control you so she can get what she wants and have her fun without feeling guilty (since you are both "separated" she can now be a "single woman").
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Just dropping by for a quick visit. H and I are going out of town on a little trip. Leaving this afternoon and getting back on Jan. 1. Kids are with grandma. It's going to be just the 2 of us.
I'm excited and so is he. I'll be around some today. Sorry only carrot sticks and broccolli and some fruit today. I gained 3lbs. in the last 3 days and I need to make sure I don't gain 10!
No alcohol either. Just some water. Not much fun around here today.
BFM
There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. David Burns, Intimate Connections
