Im'e just so worried about H's Mom. I feel And H does now too after this weekend, that MIL can not stay by herself much longer. The only thing is H has 5 sibling and only 1 helps us with his mom. The rest seem to think that by seeing his dad at the home one or two times a week that they have done a stroke of bussiness. 1 sibling doesn't even do that, she just pretends niether one of them exists and she lives right next door to us and could be helping.
I feel as if we are slipping backwards. We have not gone on a date in 2 months now and i have mentioned it 3 times so it's not like i haven't asked. Even yesterday when he got done hunting he said he wanted to go see his dad, i thought that maybe we could do something after but before i asked him he told me that he asked his mom and my daughter to go with us so that ended that idea.WTF
H hasn't even been home that much. He went for a week to Illionois hunting, and has hunted everyday off since he got back which was ok with me but, give me some time. Thats just the example, it just feels like he's distancing somewhat. He works his 12 hour shift today and tomorrow and leaves tomorrow nite to go down south until Thursday nite then works his weekend 12 hour this weekend. So im'e on my own for another week. Iv'e made plans for me and im'e not going to tell him. Just won't be home thats all. (make him wonder)
Guess i have to detach a lot more again. Let him see that i might not be there again, because if something doesn't give shortly i might not.
Have i said how tired i am?
I know he is probobly haveing a hard time with his parents but he does have a marraige he said he wants. But has not made much of an effort to work on it with me, just keeps brushing everything under the rug thinking it will go away i feel.
Just so frustrated!!!!
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Yes it is just don't know how much longer i can wait for the fog to clear before i decide to enjoy life on my own.
H went hunting for 3 days. Left last nite when he got home from work. I had the driveway blown out at our house and went down and did his Moms so he wouldn't have to do it before he left. 2 feet of snow and it's still coming. I'll have to do them again when i get home tonight for sure. Anyway he came home and said "what a good women" made me want to hit him with a 4x4(a lot heavier than the 2x4)
I have a busy weekend planned for myself since he is working so i'll be GALing, and plan to have a good time.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Well on Friday nite I got home % min. after H with dinner for him and he was gone. I got so mad that he couldn't call or leave a note that i yelled at him told him it reminded meof the last two years when he couldn't have the courtesy to let me know what was going on. He said welll you didn't leave me a note. Told him I couldn't since i hadn't been home. he said you could have called. Told him didn't think i needed to since i was right behind him and i have never not called when i wasn't going to be home. HE scoffed at the remark about the last two years. and i said that was the way i felt like i didn't matter.
told Him I was sorry for yelling but that i still felt that way.
Not very good DB but i guess it had to happen sometime as i think i have done well
I gave him a letter not the same one. made it about him not me at all. I got no response. HE has been kind of quiet since he came back from Illinois. and worse now. I don't think it is because of his parents. I will distance lovingly and see what happens.
JUST WONDER WHAT TO SAY WHEN HE ASKS WHAT IS GOING ON AND HE WILL ASK
JAk
Last edited by jak58; 12/11/0705:44 PM.
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
I think you're on the right track - lovingly detach, GAL, focus on you again.
As for what to ask - I haven't looked at it recently but maybe re-read the "ask for what you want" part of DR?? I think that's the key.. hopefully your actions will cause him to really "hear" it this time even though he hasn't heard you before.
As to the argument, I think you did fine. Much better that you addressed it rather than stuff it inside and let it fester.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
