Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? NikB's latest update (#23)

Funny you should mention that global warming is your fault, H. My husband found an article on the web that says the increase in divorce is a cause of global warming because of the consumption of energy needed for all those two household families. And driving the kids back and forth between the two houses with two refrigerators and two heating and cooling systems, etc. So you're not so innocent after all.

Great Sara,
Now I have two women I need to answer to. Mu W needs no help.....
Nikki, Glad you are feeling better. When W got home and saw that the second cake looked like the first then it must have been the pudding I added.
I reminded her of the cold weather and how it affects the stuff I do at work. (Should not have done that, global warming ya know).
Anyway even thought I got up at 1:00 an that day and it was 8:00 pm. I didn't want son to be hit by stray pan or something so I sat on my little lap top and worked with him on his "Venus" brochure for school.

I'd make ya some chicken soup if I was there....and I would NOT use olive oil....


Husband

NikB,

((((((NikB)))))

I hope you're feeling better today. Hey, I like to have jello when I'm sick too. Except I don't chill it. I drink it hot, using mostly hot water and only enough cold to make it drinkable without burning your mouth. Maybe it coats the tummy or something. With that in mind, I wouldn't have a citrus one if its stomach flu. Anywho, I just know my Mom used to make it for us kids when we were sick.

I sure enjoyed reading your journaling about Sonoma. You sound really good. Lunch in the plaza sounds so nice. I love that you looked at apartments. It's so nice to be thinking about and deciding what we want, isn't it? Looking forward to the future, figuring out what our dreams are, and also knowing what our boundaries are (your MIL). It seems like you're doing more of that and getting more clear on what you truly want and don't want. I used to be so much more indecisive (not that I'm close to cured yet) and so often think I needed more information before I could make a decision... but really used that as an excuse to put off taking action out of some fear. It feels so much better to take action and see where it gets me, and to truly gather more info if that's what I need (which is also taking action, of course) so I can make a decision I feel good about. I encourage you to continue doing the same. This is fun too. Maybe you *are* a small town girl.

How nice that you can work at home, but too bad you had to be working while you're sick. Hope you're pampering yourself some too.

Keep up the good work. Take good care of you today. Love you! f21

Hope you feel better today Nik!!!

HAve a good day.

jak

NikB,

everything OK? still sick?

Husband

Thanks all!! Sorry not much time for an update.. still kinda sick and still completely swamped with work. Bad timing! I will post more later on today.

Sheeesh.. losing my mind lately!! Just way too busy at work plus being sick.

Anyway finally got some time to read/post, so I'll reply first.

ST
Oh sure, make me regret the whole vacation/top down thing. I'm teasing...

The flu's been going around and I was amazed I HADN'T caught it yet so I guess I was lucky I got a minor case.

Thanks for the thoughts. I really did feel good about "getting through" being sick without needing him. It's a small thing in the grand scheme of life but it really FEELS better so I hope it's truly healthier.

About the room... I know, I know.. I'm so "all or nothing" that I think it's paralyzing me. Like I can't do it til the room is perfect and closet is in and clothes are moved. And yeah, it's all fear-based excuses. At least I see it right??

Enjoy the excuse to get new sexy lingerie though!!

sara
Global warming?? Wow.. I'm usually in support of all the "why D sucks" articles but even *I* think that one is reaching a bit.

H
Thanks! Not 100% but back to oh, 90% or so.. I'm sure a couple days will take care of the other 10%. Olive oil is OK in chicken soup.. just not so much in cake!! Though I hear it turned out OK there, too. You're sweet, thanks.

f21
Wow, WARM jello?? Hmmm... I may have to try that out. Does make sense it might coat your tummy some. I had some kind of tropical punch/cherry type flavor and it was good. Lime or Lemon yeah, might be painful on an already upset stomach.

Glad you enjoyed the journaling! Me too, of course.. love it when I can journal good stuff.

It's so weird when I look at places.. I get this little thrill of "what could be" followed often by a major fear. I kinda remember you thinking that too - "I could move to San Diego!" I think it's a good and normal thing to daydream a bit like that.

Definitely working on both the dreams and the boundaries - and appreciate your input and everyone else's to help me on that path. Oh my gosh we're so much alike - I keep thinking if I do research that "one more thing" that I'll have THE answer! I'm sure I've shared it before but my dad calls it "analysis paralysis" (I'm sure he borrowed that from somewhere). I am GREAT at researching, not so great at realizing when my "research" is complete and it's time to act.

Me??? A small town girl??? Wow.. maybe, though. Thinking so more and more, the more experiences I have.

Thanks again. ((((f21))))

jak
Thanks!! Hugs back to ya, too.

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Very brief journaling....

So yesterday/last night I worked in between rush bathroom trips (sorry if TMI!) until almost 9:30. Felt a bit better today but worked another 12ish hours. Yikes!! OK for awhile but I gotta get this back in control, it's just way too much. Ended up canceling all my GAL plans this week just to catch up at work.

Good news is I'm supposed to have tomorrow and Friday off so hopefully it'll truly be break time instead of half break, half working.

By Sunday by goal is to have the tree up, decorations up, and all gifts either bought or at least planned.. maybe too ambitious but trying to get all that done.

Tomorrow is H's birthday and I have no idea what's up. I did make him a cake (no DB-H, did not use olive oil). It's a spice cake and smells really good!! STILL up in the air on the gift thing - think I will probably get something race-related though.

Some good positives and no real negatives tonight... H asked me to help rub a knot out of his back which I did.. and he was generally really sweet towards me. Maybe he secretly loves me for my backrubs.. . I set his coffee up on the timer for tomorrow - something I used to do daily but stopped after the last bomb - he noticed and thanked me for setting it. Some parts I had ordered for my car also arrived (fun stuff I got with my bonus $). He got home before me so he got the package and he was all excited about installing the new parts, said it would be fun. I had planned to pay a shop to do it but will let this one play out, I think.

I have the tomorrow daytime and Fri - Sun pretty planned already, so I should be good there - nice to have a packed weekend once again!! Tomorrow, well, it's only one day.. trying to have no expectations. Hope everyone's doing well. Will try to catch up now before bed time.

Nikki

You sound to be in a good place. I would kill for a good backrub ..ha ha

Its a strange world this we find ourselves in , sometimes almost sureal . Take care and have a great Xmas

Dave

Nik, sorry to intrude on your thread. When you get a chance, come kick me in the a$$ please.

Dave - thanks! No kidding, totally surreal. I need to check in on you too - but will also say it here, have a great Xmas!! Can't believe it's less than 2 weeks away.

Blindsided - no worries, not an intrusion. I'll come by momentarily.

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Quick journaling.. had a pretty good day. Got about half of my to do list done, which is pretty good when my list is so long! Still need to get on the ball with Christmas shopping/wrapping/decor stuff.. but happy that now the house is clean, stuff is straightened up, fishes have a clean tank, stuff like that.

This morning with H was a little weird. When we first woke up I wished him a Happy Birthday. He flashed me a huge smile and thanked me - then a few minutes later said in a really depressed voice "I feel so old." Didn't stay down though, so I was glad for that.

I finally asked him if he had plans tonight since he clearly wasn't going to bring it up. I know I could have made other plans but I didn't feel right about it without at least asking what his plans might be (and I really was going to be OK if the answer didn't include me at all - that felt good).

He kinda grinned and said "Well maybe... will you take me out to dinner for my BD?" That really surprised me. Then said "Oh, and planning to eat some spice cake, too. It smells so good!"

He thanked me again for setting up his coffee too. In past years I'd usually have gotten up way early and made him a big breakfast then ..ahem.. woken him up in a very enjoyable way . So it was very different today - but I feel like I did ok, being part of his birthday without over-doing things. Got him a racing related gift but nothing extravagent and will be taking him to dinner in a bit. Feels good that he wants those things from me.. wants me involved in his life.. and is giving me more in return.

I realize the awkwardness also kind of emphasizes how out of whack things are... but really, our old M IS over, so it makes sense not to do things the way we did "before" right?

In any case - not letting expectations grab ahold of me... and glad that the day's gone as well as it has so far.